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I never would have dreamed that I would still be single at 54! I watched all my friends get married and I just remained alone! Why was I given such a bad hand?! And why can’t I get a date anymore?! Is it because I’m old?! I usually ask out men that are around my age! There was only two younger guys that I asked out in the past 5 years! One was 37 and the other was 26! Of course both said no! So I started asking out old guys who are old like me or even older! They say no too! I even resorted to online dating and I emailed 42 men within the first week I had an account and only one, ONE, man replied! ONE out of 42! I went on one date with him and then I never heard from him again! I was so happy to meet this man so when I didn’t hear from him again, I punched a hole in my wall after getting roaring drunk! I can’t even get a man’s attention! And sex?! What’s sex?! I don’t even know what it feels like anymore it’s been so long!!! I think the last time I got the D it was still the 20th century!! How did that even happen when I am constantly letting men know that I am interested in them?! Not one of them reciprocates the sentiment! My friend bought me a vibrator for my 52nd birthday and I haven’t used it once! A vibrator is not the same as a MAN!! I spent this past Valentines Day fixated on the couples who were going out to dinner! Then that night, I laid in my bed wondering how many people were currently having sex while I lay alone with my no-dick-inside vag which has probably closed itself up since nothing has gone in there since the 90s!!! Will I ever have that Love thing?!! Will I????!!!! —54 year old woman who needs a man stat!
This article appears in Feb 19-25, 2015.
Have considered other species?
since when do females punch holes in walls when they get drunk?
If you think that having a man will ‘complete you’, you haven’t learned very much in 54 years. Your insecurity and neediness are flashing in neon script, luv, a fair warning to any bloke who doesn’t need that kind of baggage.
Use the dildo, you silly girl, your minge will thank you for it.
Babyshambles, sometimes I fully agree with you, and sometimes you’re out to lunch. I’m sure her online profiles don’t look like this. This is an anonymous bitch outlet for a reason, so people can release these types of feelings. Love and companionship, and hanky panky, are important parts of our mental health, more for some than others.
Good luck out there OB, I hope you get some D soon.
This is a person who punches holes through walls, Take A Step Back, I don’t think any man in his right mind would want to tackle that tangle of twine.
THE INTERPRETATION OF DREAMS
“I never would have dreamed that I would still be single at 54!”
Freud always taught that dreams were the “royal road” to the unconscious. What did he mean? In his “Interpretation of Dreams” he pointed out that dreams were that by which we might access our repressions, those thoughts and feelings – often of a profoundly sexual nature – which, while residing in the unconscious, cannot be banished from the consciousness.
You must seek out a Freudian psychotherapist at the first opportunity. It’s the only way.
A pleasure as always,
Cheerio!
At first, I thought OB was a man. Then I thought D meant “dose”. Then I quickly realized why OB was single…
if op really is female froggy, you can do that prayer again.
54, eh? The ‘D’, eh? Fake, eh?
Which prayer?
the brief passage that is recited by traditional Jewish men at the beginning of the daily morning prayers: “Blessed are you, Lord, our God, ruler of the universe who has not created me a woman.”
or that other one where you give thanks for not being hetero and subject to all that shit. you get stuck with beer and farts!
but seriously, I am still dubious about this being written by a woman. that punching a hole in the wall. I have never done it, no female I know has ever done it. I imagine some really butchy butch would, but op is looking for a man, so I don’t think so. punching hard stuff HURTS and doesn’t seem to be something women do. they throw shit, cut themselves, but who wants bloody, bruised knuckles with a possible sprain, discolouration and puffiness?
I have punched holes in walls…Not over a man though, that’s just sad. Never a D-shortage up in here! I think OB needs to hire a professional photographer, put on her best boob top and take a decent profile photo and wait for a man to email you. Men like the hunt, they’re probably turned off that you’re approaching them or emailing first. It makes you look desperate! Speak with class and dignity when corresponding, no “D” and “vag” talk… men want a lady not a trucker. Forget about the 26 year olds, you’re 50-something…that’s getting into Puma territory. Although there is a niche market for GILFS, your best bet is 55-70 age range. Although the D at that age is likely useless…he’ll need hydraulics or Cialis… You’re between a cock and a hard place, better reconsider that vibrator.
Well, call me Hasidic! That will become my new mantra… Blessed am I who hath a penis (and not anything else).
And you know no butches? Jeez, when I was in my 20’s, lipstick and lesbians never crossed paths. Ya’ didn’t dare look at them, FFS…
Now ladies: guys need Cialis when they’re in their 70’s… you watch too many commercials during your “shows”; remember, the drug companies are in the business of selling shit, not fixing shit…
I can juggle a belt sander and my eyelash curler with equal ease.
I am woman, hear me raaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr oh bloody hell, I chipped a nail.
If vibrators took out the garbage, most women could do without men.
You kill me No Fool.
This seems fake to me. I’ve never met or known a woman who cannot, for any reason get a man. Men aren’t as choosy especially if it’s an easy chance to get laid. Sorry but it’s true. Unless OP is extremely picky and e-mailled 42 6′ 4″ multi-millionaires and only got one reply.
Any women I know who date online have way more replies than they can handle unless the parameters are extremely narrow.
Anyway I call fake.
Fake! Fake! Fake! Fake!
Maybe she shouldn’t use this picture in her ads:
http://humourger.com/femmesmoches/Petite_f…
Just keep warbling this and it will all seem fine. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUWcbSWIt9…