Honestly that was the worst night of my life. I’m tried of being the “mature” one, the grown up one that’ll be there to listen to your every rant and your obsession over the newest boy that merely made eye contact with you or just talking for the sake of being polite. Stop being so high school, he’s not in love with you. You just met yesterday, you don’t have to talk about him 24/7. So I owed you $30 for pizza. But you also drank an entire bottle of my $30 wine, which, I offered out of courtesy because I’m a good friend. And what about the million times I paid for the cab because you always miraculously happen to be too broke to afford 5 bucks of change. I spent MY New Year’s Eve in the back of a cab as you cried over an asshole ex-boyfriend whom has clearly moved on, and so should you (I mean you seem to fall in love with a different guy every weekend so I don’t see how you could claim to have loved him anyways). Then I paid for your dinner because you still feel that I owe you money. But I never once complain because we’re best friends, this is what best friends do.

But I can’t continuously keep giving with no end. So I’m sorry that you didn’t get picked up last weekend when we went out because you were not making conversations and being awkwardly uncomfortable. I’m sorry that someone was actually genuinely interested in me for once and found me attractive over you.

For once, I wish you’d just be my best friend. I have bad days too, I have feelings too, I like it when someone shows interest in me too. I’d like to have one night where it’s all about me, not just you. And the one time I disagree remotely with what you said, I’m a bad friend.

So, who’s the bad friend here? —I Guess This Just Made Me The Worst Friend Ever

This article appears in Jan 12-18, 2012.

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33 Comments

  1. This person sounds to self absorbed at this stage of their life to really be your friend. Maybe you should expand your friendships. I believe we can really outgrow friendships. I don’t think you should dump her as a friend just start moving away to gain more healthy and relatable relationships for yourself.

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  4. The best part about best friends is that you can say all of these things to their face. Just sit them down and explain everything out rationally, they’ll understand, or you’ll both come to some sort of an understanding. If they freak out, pass the blame, or call you a bad friend, then they’re just not BFF material.

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  5. Well, no, you’re not a bad friend. But you’d be a better friend if you’d tell her some of this this stuff. Tough love is needed sometimes. We’re all guilty of thinking things and not wanting to say them to our friends. It’s a tough call to make. Some things, you gotta learn on your own, but having someone to tell you the hard truth is also needed at times.

    Tell her she’s being ridiculous and making a fool of herself, emphasize that you are telling her this because you care about HER and about your friendship with her. She’ll probably fight with you at first, it’ll be tough to get through but I think she’ll realize at some point that you’re trying to help her and stop blaming the world for her problems and being such a drama queen.

    Or keep putting up with her shit or stop being her friend. If she responds to your tough love by basically telling you to go fuck yourself, at least you tried and now you know that the friendship has run its course. You can’t always help people and after a while it’s best not to try.

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  6. Why are you even wasting your time on this needy broad? Tell her you don’t want to deal with her self-driven drama anymore – if you don’t read her the riot act NOW, this will continue ad nauseum.

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  7. Um. This person isn’t your best friend, and if they were you’d feel comfortable saying all this to them.

    When I think of my two best friends… yeah, this shit would never fly. Donarious happens to be one of them and I’ll tells ya, we can certainly tell each other the straight shit. We might get pissy about it because we don’t necessarily always want to hear the truth, but it doesn’t destroy our friendship. Doesn’t even nick it.

    Tell this to your so called ‘best friend’ — either she’ll wise the fuck up, or she’ll have a hissy fit and dump you. Either way you won’t have to deal with this anymore and hay, if she dumps you, she wasn’t much of a friend in the first place and you learned a great lesson.

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  8. Why does going out for entertainment have to “be about” either of you? Needy or what? Ever try just going out to have fun without it needing to be about anyone? BTW: getting “picked up” is so over-rated for anyone without slut tendancies.

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  11. and i agree with everyone else OP.. you need some new friends who care about being with you, not using you as an accessory or supporting actress in the Drama That Is Her Life. Your bitch suggests that you’re probably intelligent, interesting, fun to be with. You should totally be in relationships where those qualities are recognized and valued. You deserve that.

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  12. As pitiful and draining as these people are, it’s because they’ve never had someone tell them how stupid they are being and how many problems they are creating for themselves. When someone treats them like an adult and tells them that they need to take responsibility for their shit, it can make a huge difference.

    Or not, and they either never grow up or eventually figure it out.

    PK’s right, if you guys really consider each other to be best friends, giving her a little wake up call should not break the friendship. If it does it wasn’t much of a friendship.

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  13. you got a real good friend there o.p., don’t blow it. maybe someday, she will realize what a shithead she is, but i reallt doubt that. you just have to bide your time, then when she gets knocked up by what ever flavour of the day, she will look for you. that’s when you lower the proverbial boom on her. tell her everythig she ever did to make your life miserable, and just walk away for good. i did that once to a friend like this.

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  14. Yuck I’ve had friends like this. Cut them off now before it gets messy. Then they’ll realize what a good friend you really were! Very few people will deal with a friend’s drama like you do OP. She’ll figure that out one day. I used to put up with that shit because I hoped my friend would be there for me if I ever needed help as well, but nope! Don’t count on it, get a cat, and move on :).

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  15. If having this person as a friend is such a big problem, do yourself a favour and dump them. If you don’t want drama in your life, get rid of the people that cause it.

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  18. Best way to find out if a friend is basically using you is if they pull this shit:

    when they’re single you’re bffs
    when they start dating someone, you don’t exist
    and when they get married, this gets even worse.
    when they break up with the person they’re dating, you’re suddenly their bff again (who they expect to listen to their complaining and whining about their ex)
    Same thing happens when someone files divorce papers re: married friend, but in this case they expect you to be there for “support” throughout the ordeal of their divorce (no fucking thanks, asshole)

    I stopped messaging/emailing a good friend after she got married because she just didn’t bother replying. That kinda stung. I have other friends who have recently gotten married who have been pulling that shit too.

    Therefore, once my single friends get engaged, I’m dumping them, because once they get married, us single folk are just shit on their shoes (until, like I said, someone files the divorce papers then suddenly you’re their very bestest friend again).

    Donarious would NEVER pull that shit on me. Ever.

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  19. Drop her and get a new friend who isn’t so self-absorbed. Reminds me of my EX best friend. We would hang out all the time, until she’d get a boyfriend…then would drop off into thin air, not return my calls for months. Until he dumped her, then all of a sudden we were hanging out all the time again. That was the MAIN issue I had with her… Then because that issue was never addressed or fixed, ittle things started to add to it. Petty things. Like if she owed me money…or she hit on a guy I had “dibbs” on or whatever. Girlfriends, especially 2 single girls always spending time together, can be catty and competitive and life is too short for that. There’s lots of dudes to go around. And friendships should be supportive… Give and Take. If you feel its one-sided, replace her ass.

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  20. OB…you need to look up the word acquaintance in the dictionary.

    It’ll help you understand the difference between that person and an actual friend.

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  21. is that the person you showed me photos of, pk ? that sucks, i’ve lost male friends that way. that would be a perfect costume for perfect tommy to wear on hallowe’en, except no one under a certain age, would know who he was

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  26. OB, next time whisper to the taxi driver to drive to the middle of fucking nowhere and then drop off your retard friend. Hopefully they never find their way back.

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  27. Ooooh noo, my cousin isn’t the gal I speak of. We’re close like sisters so we still speak constantly. Albeit over facebook, but she doesn’t ignore me!

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  29. >: ) – The tough part is flying your hypodermic needle along that narrow trench to hit just the right spot to inject the vodka. Oh sure, it’s no bigger than a womp rat but just try it with 3 Tie fighters on your six.

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  30. In keeping with the alcohol theme, wouldn’t they be Mai Tie fighters? lol

    If anyone could do it, Gold Leader, you could!

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