You need a man. We all know you do. We all know you’re in denial. You don’t truly like being single. How do we know? For the past year, every now and then, you would make subtle complaints about not having anyone to share your life with.
You tried a dating site once and closed your account after just 2 weeks! After doing that, suddenly, you have this change of heart, claiming you’re fine on your own and you’ll continue to ‘enjoy’ the single life. It’s obvious that the reason why you shut down that account was because you got discouraged when you didn’t have any luck on there, not because you realized you didn’t want to date. You bought a couple of sex toys and put on this front of being so happy now. We, as your friends, see through this. A toy can’t be a full substitute for the bond you share with a lover, a soulmate. You know this too. After I advised you to try dating online again, you refused and said you’re not going to look for anyone and that HE will come along some day. You’re 37 years old, you tried the don’t-look-and-he’ll-poof!-appear-in-my-life routine since you were 19 and…he still hasn’t come along…
I’m only writing this because I know you’re lonely and you want a great guy to share something with. You need to come to terms with this instead of snapping at those who are trying to help! —A random wife and BFF
This article appears in Sep 5-11, 2013.
OP is clearly a ‘Fixer’.
A typical ‘Fixer’ can’t feel at peace with their own life unless all those in it are happy. It’s a nice thought and ‘Fixers’ always feel like they have the best intentions. But, when a ‘Fixer’ comes into a state of exasperation of ‘why won’t people just listen to me’ with those around them, it’s because they can’t see or won’t face the fact that their own lives are incomplete.
OP, fix your own sense of inadequecy/expectation and you’ll see that all is well in your own little world. Even when you see that those around you simply won’t/can’t/have no interest to live up to your expectations of what you ‘think’ may make them happy.
Perhaps OP’s ‘friend’ has realized that they need to be happy with themselves before they can invite someone into their lives to enjoy that happiness together.
Fixers make me giggle.
OP, I know plenty of perfectly miserable married couples. Perhaps you need to feel superior to your single friend because things aren’t all rainbows and sunshine after 10 years of marriage? I could be wrong of course. But why is it so hard for you to believe that your friend can’t be happy without a man? And encouraging her to turn to online dating is a push in the wrong direction in my opinion. Scroll down these boards to find out why.
Why is it always someone else who knows what’s best for you, instead let them listen to their own inner child and voice and that will guide them. OP, let them make their own choices (good or bad) and let them know you will always stand by and be their friend.
Saw my great Aunt try to tell my Grandmother what’s best for her, almost like watching Friday night fights.
who do YOU think you’re fooling OP?
no friend posts this snide dig at a friend in public.
go get your own sex toy and use it vigorously – you obviously have some tension and rage issues.
Of course your friend deleted her Penis.Cum account after seeing the profiles of those who are trolling the site and these losers have no social skills or friends and are extremely awkward in public because they never learned how to develop a real friendship in their formative years. Home alone (every night) and online waiting for someone to contact them. PATHETIC.
Yeah but at least with a toy when you get tired of it, you can throw it out without the drama and costing you thousands.
Hear Hear, GDM–I saw right through this one too…..what type of ‘friend’ indeed.
morning she sang! a good day for waves.
why the heck are women so cruel to each other in the guise of ‘friendship’?
shut up molly, you know the answer to that. tis a rhetorical day
koda, maybe you are projecting?
I agree, GDM.
‘…A toy can’t be a full substitute for the bond you share with a lover, a soulmate…’ – OMF, not this ‘love on gossamer wings’ shit. Excuse me while I gag repeatedly.
IMHO, you find what you’re looking for when you stop looking. Nothing will scare a potential mate off faster than utter desperation.
As a friend, OP, back the fuck off and leave this poor woman in peace. You honestly sound like one of those twits who believe they are not complete without a man.
Then this: ‘…I’m only writing this because I know you’re lonely and you want a great guy to share something with. You need to come to terms with this instead of snapping at those who are trying to help! ‘ – you’re not trying to help, you’re trying to fit her into your life and, apparently, she can’t do that without a man.
Gagging again.
gag is right TT.
OP signs herself with the ultimate in self identification…a WIFE.
praise gawd and pass the pepto dismal!
surely to god OP you have some smidgeon of identity other than WIFE? hmmm? maybe you are good at crochet? making pies? a damn fine ironer? alphabetize your soup cans like nobody’s business?
good grief. the acme (beep beep) of accomplishment
Bitches. Be. Crazy. Are you kidding me with this bullshit? smdh
Good morning to you GDM…well, I guess it’s ‘good afternoon’ now :D…musing upon your rhetoric (quite similar to my own), I would say this: I have no time for frenemies, especially ones who dress up things like jealousy and misogyny in thin disguises of concern and true friendship.
OP, really spend some time thinking about why you would post something like this, and actually call yourself a “BFF”–that acronym here seems to stand for something other than “Best Friend Forever”. Methinks your maturity has some catching up to do.
Here’s the kicker – in 10 years, Wifey Poo could be traded in for a younger model, said friend will probably have found someone – then what?
OP is one smug little twit if she thinks she’s gonna live happily ever after. No wonder she can’t bear to part with her 1990s Disney videotapes.
WTF is a random wife and BFF? Can you be “random” and a “BFF”? In the same sentence?
crap TT you peeked in my closet. I have a stack of those videotapes but I swear, I am holding them for a friend.
Good one, GDM.
I dunno, I agree with what you’re all saying but on the flipside she wants her friend to be happy and is trying to help her the best way she knows how. I mean sometimes a pep talk and a helping hand makes a big difference. There’s a really fine line between being a concerned friend giving some tough love and a busy body.
I say that as someone who gets pretty down in the dumps sometimes and has great friends that sometimes tell me what I need to hear as opposed to what I want to hear. It stings at first but I’m always thankful afterward.
I’ve missed you guys, how was everyone’s summer?
Awesome one TJ. Got up to Kingston to see the folks in July, SOBova & I got in a lot of Banook time and I’m enjoying my last week of vacation until Xmas.
How was yours, Bru?
Not too bad, made it up to Montreal to see a couple of my favorite Hippity Hoppity music rapper guys at Osheaga, worked way too much, hoping for a productive fall.
Hey, TJ! Great summer, officially retired at last. The raspy voice of my former pencil-necked boss has finally faded from my ears so life’s pretty sweet and being able to sleep in past 6:15 a.m. is fucking EH-1!
Contrats TT! We’ll have to ‘celebrate’ *taps nose and gives knowing look* some time
alot of losers in this pathetic thread. OP made sense, she wanted her friend to truly feel wanted. Who cares if the approach isn’t what y’all would do. Who cares if you think she is digging at her friend..( quite frankly those who thought that, have a bit of a devious mind themselves…) Who cares if she bought a few toys. Those won’t go to waste, not a bad detailed investment. They’ll be used when she gets a BF as well …in a healthy mature way…. Who cares…what this OP is trying to do…as far as i am concerned its good true honest advice. so who cares ..I get lonely, and I’m with someone…that doesn’t mean i’m lonesome…when i’m lonely, i make sure she knows…hehe
Absolutely, TJ. I refused to hang on like some of my possession-loving boomer peers – having a low maintenance lifestyle helps immensely. My replacement is in her 20s so I’m pretty happy about that.
Looking forward to the next call of the Summit Conch Shell. (blatant hint)
Hey TJ–nice to see ya dude! Any headway on the music front of late??
An event may be in the works. May or may not be a summit, though.
Similar to the *taps nose* thing in July.
Redux blue mowfs? Delightful, darling. (in my best Edina Monsoon)
http://25.media.tumblr.com/57db4299462eac8…
Remain calm, everybody
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0GW0Vnr9Yc
That’s the “productive fall” alludes to SheSang. Wanted to have a lot more done by now but its tough to stay focused on work in the summer. Gettin to work on something this week, I hope.
Hey TJ–hope everything works out sweetly for ya!! I will be looking forward to hearing new music from you, once it’s laid down!! Have fun with it–I will be sending you some good vibes:)…..also, a get-tog soon with the gang sounds awesome senorita kitteh!
Irishman…what kind of friend starts a post with “who do you think you’re fooling” and writes a letter with “good intentions” on a bitch board. If she was a real friend she’d maybe try and set her up or give her positive encouragement. Not call her out in public. If this is what you consider a good true honest friend then I’d rather be friends with the “losers” on this thread then someone like you.
PS. Miss you bitches! Xo.
So you’re saying OP that, since “don’t-look-and-he’ll-poof!-appear-in-my-life” approach hasn’t netted anything yet she should just settle. Leave her alone. If she wants help or your advice, she’ll ask for it. Maybe the dating site reminded her of why she wanted to stay single which is why she closed it down after two weeks.
As an armchair shrink, I would say you’re projecting your own unhappiness onto her. Some navel contemplation may be needed.
don’t get ivan all excited reg, I bet he would read that as naval.
Never settle for someone you don’t love.A life of loneliness is better than a life full of misery.
1) Reg, love the Killie.
2) Too late, GDM. I did and did. Naval gazing was one of my favorite pastimes when I worked in the Properties.
3) Miss you too, RCMamaB. Hope the wee ones are doing well.
Look honey. She’s either gay or not interested in dating. Why does her being single threaten you so much? Are you trying to get her out of circulation for her own good or for YOUR own good?
Who needs love , when we’ve got silicon & strap-ons ~ ; )
Random wife – get a life. Your friend obviously has a pretty good one. Singldom rocks! Personally, I find dating really annoying… why add extra obligations into your life? Rushing around to get ready, shaving everything, driving around to meet and rackin your brain to make conversation with douche after douche. Online dating isn’t hard – you go onto plentyoffuglies and stick up a photo and then abracadabra! – You have 50 messages from creepers all over nova scotia! I think your friend was more discouraged by the quality of men she was encountering than the number of men. Props to her for not being stupid enough to bend-over for the first guy to show interest, or naïve enough to grab the first loser (stikeout) “soulmate” to produce a diamond chip and promises of happily ever after, basically the first jerk to pump sunshine and rainbows up your butt… A vibrator is the safest sex you can get (as long as it’s not made out of the dangerous plastic). Marriage can be lonelier than the single life. You have the ideals of a newlywed, random wife. Give it time… when complacency and boredom set in (around the 5-year mark). My guess is, you’re already there. Why do married people want all their single friends to be married too? Because misery loves company.
more, you need a partner to make use of a strap on. unless you’re air-humping with it.
speaking of which, that skinny wretch of mine is air humping the new pup 100 times a day. but he always gives him a little toy first. do I raise ’em decent or what?