Dear Ms. Page,
I have lived in Halifax for almost 4 years and still haven’t seen, met or heard from you. I thought I would put my change away one day, pick up my little red bag of Noggins McCintosh apples, turn around and there you’d be. Behind me in line at a coffee shop, laying on the blanket in the distance on the Common on the first sunny day of the year, locking your bike next to mine on Saturday mornings at the market. But, alas, nothing. Come back, and bring Leonardo DiCaprio and Michael Cera with you… we can bike to dinner on a double date. I’ve never been so sure that I could be someones future favourite friend.
Sincerely, —Your Best Friend To-Be
This article appears in Nov 15-21, 2012.
Yeah, and you wonder why she’s not out and about more often.
Why do I get the feeling that this special friendship will involve 20ccs of ketamine, a roll of duct tape and you being taken into custody wearing Ms. Page’s skin.
you sound creepy and slightly bonkers, are you mad at justin?
Wasn’t Oldhand fixated on Ellen Page? He seemed to attache some significance to her photo on the Coast Website, usually when he was accusing us of producing/consuming child pornography.
Interesting.
You need to spin one of those jacks and snap out of that dream OL. No guarantee that you won’t end up in someone else’s dream though.
The writer of this love scares me.
Yeah, she wants to be a serious actor….
So it makes sense she’d live in a piddly shit-hole city with very little entertainment industry.
If she aspires to be on 22 minutes, I feel genuine pity for her.
I saw her a couple of years ago in a cafe. She must just hate you.
LOL! this is hilarious. clearly, you are all dull individuals with no sense of humor. have you heard of sarcasm?
What do you think we were replying with?
weird.
She is in my basement alot. We like to role play. She wears a belt with a goat tail and a beret with goat ears. Thats it. Then I throw garbage at her.
I believe sarcasm is making a statement with an emphatic lack of sincerity. Why do you ask Bammmmm?
Creepiest bitch, ever.