I’m gay and single and would like to meet people. But why is it so hard to meet guys in this city? Where can one guy meet a decent guy around here besides the clubs and skeezy internet dating sites?
I’m not bad looking and consider myself to be friendly, very considerate, intelligent and always trying to improve myself but I seem to lack that something that helps me meet someone.
Surely there exists a single gay 20-something guy in HRM that isn’t a drug-addict, alcoholic, stereotypically self-centred and constantly judgmental, actually friendly and polite and can carry on a conversation without the immediate desire to have sex. —Single and wondering if looking is worth it
This article appears in May 13-19, 2010.
Simple answer? No.
It isn’t just the gay boys, dear. It’s ALL the guys.
Extend your boundaries.
Come to poppa!
Good Luck with that – I always had to import mine…
Go work in a call centre, the job sucks but there is a lot of gay people there, and at least you know they’re makin some money 😀
OP, I’m in your situation, too (I don’t know what my level of attractiveness is, though). I deleted pretty many any online profile I had a couple months ago… until I cracked and got bored again and rejoined one recently. *Sigh* But of course, it’s proving to be more of a pain in the ass than anything. But yeah, sometimes it does feel like an impossibility to meet another 20-something gay guy without resorting to the interwebz and so on. Haha.
ummm…..meet me out back in five minutes! haha…
good luck with that, you just described about 99% of twentysomething gay guys. Like, ML said, you need to expand your boundries.
jdp… if you do not know your ‘level of attractiveness’ then you are a 5.
you don’t know whether you’re appealing but you’re also not fugly.
hope for 7’s… but don’t hold out or you’ll be like ‘me and my palm’ buddy.
And if that doesn’t work you too are free to exercise the “Liver Option”. Pretend you’re the pope having a private audience with Justin Bieber.
Don’t forget the incense and the pointy hat.
Hahahaha. Well, I don’t think I’m fugly. I just feel it seems more conceited than confident to suggest that I’m really good looking or something. XD Plus, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that jazz, so what’s attractive to one isn’t necessarily attractive to others, blah blah blah.
I also feel as if I just really opened myself up to attacks. Haha. Whee.
hey zZz bring back the cat
You sound like a humble and decent guy, jdp21. I hope you will find what you are looking for soon. But the irony of life is, when you are looking for something, you never find it. And just when you stopped searching for it, you find that it was right beside you all along.
🙂 I would but I don’t have the pic here…
plus I’d look like a pussy if I changed it back asap because you told me to.
haha what if i asked nicely? oh please sir bring back the wee beastie
try reflections bar, or one of the gay bath houses. you’ll get more cock than anyhere else in those two places.
I just saw zZz featured on Halifax Match. I don’t know why I had been thinking that zZz was a woman all this time.
oh geez… cat’s outta the bag.
jdp21, and newtohalifax. if you are females, i’m still available and i don’t tell tales after all is said and done, and i’m told, that i am pretty good at it.
I disagree with the ‘stop searching and there it was all along’ myth. The truth is there is NOT someone for everyone. Some of us are lucky enough to find someone compatible with all the necessary chemistry. Not everyone will. I’ve seen it time and again with friends. I stopped searching awhile ago and guess what, there was no one there magically waiting to be ‘the one’. I’m not fugly, exude confidence, own my own home (paid in full) and am talented, intelligent, educated, well-adjusted, fun-loving and low-maintenance. Being a happy individual without feeling there needs to be someone else to feel complete is more realistic than the ‘stop looking and there they are’ myth.
I’m in the exact same situation as you. Try reflections, going to a Dalout event, or if you are really brazen, chatting up some of the patrons of the second cup on spring garden.
I also wish there was some sort of wonderful gays only cafe where people would chat and not just cruise, but that’s not how this city rolls.
Oceanlady, I think I didn’t explain enough about the “stop searching” bit. I didn’t say “someone” will materialize out of thin air just when you stop searching for that someone to fill your void (though that MAY happen). I said “it”, and by that, I implied happiness. So, when you say “being a happy individual without feeling there needs to be someone else to feel complete”, that is exactly what I meant. But you said it better. 🙂
And really, I don’t think there is a check list of how you have to be in order to find someone special. I am ugly, have low self-esteem (obviously), rent (which my husband pays for), slightly talented, intelligent enough, educated enough, not so well-adjusted sometimes, lazy and sometimes high maintenance. But I have a husband who loves me. There is no magic formula in finding that special someone, and I agree with you that not everyone will. But being happy (or at least content) with oneself without needing someone else to make that happiness “legit”, everyone can (or try at least).
Well said newtohalifax! Being happy with one’s life is the key.
The icing on your cake is that you are truly blessed to have a husband who loves you:)
BTW: welcome to Halifax!
grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
don’t tell LS you’re a female newtoHalifax,,,,
married/tranny/lost your identity in a horrible fire?
he’ll ony hear ‘tity’ and come running.
Thanks for the welcome Oceanlady. 🙂
lol zZz…. even if I had said “flat”? Tity that is. And back of my head.
Ha ha zZz, you profile is almost always featured on “Halifax Match” when I’m here. Must link you on to the Bitch site, or maybe it’s a sign for me! Too bad we’re both only looking for chicks, though a certain girl wouldn’t want me to be. Anyway…
Is that a fucking kitten on your back? Is that a fucking garden snake about to bite your fucking nose? How daring!
Haha. LS, sorry, I guess I wasn’t clear by my original message. I, like the OP, am a gay male. But, thanks for the offer?
Newtohalifax sure reminds me of a long lost poster, which I miss. But the whole ” I am ugly, have low self-esteem ” sets her apart.
q, it’s a baby boa.
now it’s like 20 feet long… not mine though.
funny how that little guy turned into that big, sleepy bugger
all these kitty cats merci beaucoup mes amis
To the gay boys of LTWWB:
One ideal spot to maybe look for dates/mates/friends is Venus Envy on Barrington. VE often has seminars, tutorials and classes (some are free!) for different things and attracts a diverse group of people. Just last summer I was out for a walk and came across a workshop called ‘Toys for Queer Boys’ but was not restricted to anyone; I checked it out and one fella brought a lady friend with him.
The group that attended was very diverse in styles, ages, occupations, race, background and sexuality. Even ol’ NGF had a couple of handsome studs checking him out. Of course that was after I had asked to play with the pocket rocket with the leather strap.
Worth a shot, guys.
I see a lot of people saying that he should go to Reflections or Venus Envy for sex workshops.. but what I got from his original post is that he wishes there was somewhere – unrelated to sex- where he could chat up another man.
I don’t know.. I seem to see quite a few attractive gay men in this city. I mean A LOT!
They’re everywhere: Downtown, Art Galleries, Pizza shops, Shoe Stores, Cafes.. etc .. They work in cafes too and other stores where you have access to chat them up and enjoy some PG fun until you’re ready for the next step.
There are many men both gay AND straight who aren’t just into drinking and one night stands.
Best of luck in your search OP!
IDK if my last message got posted. Doesn’t seem like it did.
The main point I was trying to make is that there are many men, gay and straight, who are very attractive in the HRM.
They live and work here. You can meet them in Cafes, Pizza Shops, Shoe Stores, Live Music Shows, Art Galleries.. etc
They’re not all looking for drunken one night stands, OP.. If you aren’t then they CAN’T all be.
Best of luck.. you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders.. It will happen.
Remember to smile and strike up conversation whenever you have the chance.
PS there’s one working at a certain coffee shop across from American Apparel.. I would hit on him myself but I am a woman!
oops, double post
Haha. @Bitchin, depending on whether you’re referring to SBUX or SCUP, there’s quite a few at each.
If you mean the gay acting Ginger at second cup, he’s straight. I’ve seen many gay guys try, flirt and linger. All it does is inflate the ego.
Call center queers…no thanks. That is not a job!
As for meeting gay guys….there are plenty in Halifax, the problem is most are undatable, drugged up, sluts, or diseased. The good ones hide. I just wish there were more straight-acting, masculine gay guys like me. I’m not attractive to the stereotypical flamers.
It IS worth it to keep looking OP. Don’t ever give up hope. I’ve noticed that everyone, gay or not, faces the same dilemma of where to meet someone with standards beyond partying, drama and one-night-stands.
Also, @Bitchin, if you’re talking about the one at the Cup that is short, skinny, really upbeat and has the facial hair and a buzzed head… probably not advisable to date him. I have it on good grounds that he has some serious law trouble (I know what it is to be certain, but I don’t feel like it’s right to publish it exactly), and he’s not really… serious on dating. He’s just interested in “fun”. Lol.
Also, no, I did not ask him out and have him turn me down. I actually know him personally. Haha.