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Is male chivalry dead? Are teenage boys not taught to hold doors for women anymore? I’m appauled by the ignorance of the future men in our city!
I do realize there are women who are equal rights enthusiasts, but most women I know definitely appreciate the kindness of a gentleman.
— Ladies first
This article appears in Feb 12-18, 2009.
18 Comments
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Well ladies first….equal rights equal treatment, you want to be treated the same as men, I agree, I think that woman for the most part should be treated the same. Soooo why don’t women hold the doors open for men……….
kilo: women do hold doors open for men…
It’s just common courtesy to hold the door for anyone. I don’t see a man holding the door for a woman as “chivalry” but as a genuine gesture of courtesy as is the same if a man held the door open for another man. No one wants a door slammed in their face.
What is this 1950 and the OP is 70 years old. Is that it?
Next thing you’ll be wearing an onion on your belt.
the door being held open is just one example. Years ago, in Saint John, I was in a funeral procession, and we passed by a high school. I was so amazed at the young men who stopped walking and took off their hats in respect as we passed by.
I’ve never seen that happen again.
Every day I see something that makes me question whether chivalry is dying.
some women still really appreciate it.
How is a man holding the door for me “the kindness of a gentleman?” Can no one else be kind in this way? I’d be more impressed if he did something for me that I actually couldn’t do myself (like open certain jars) 😛
Chivalry is dead. And women killed it. 9 times out of 10 when I hold a door open for a woman, all I get is a blank look. No “thank you”, no nod of appreciation, just the knowledge that they’re taking my holding of the door for granted. Mind you, I still hold the door open every time, knowing full well that it will generally go unappreciated.
Sometimes I’m ok with people being jerks on the whole, it makes me feel that much better about myself when I hold doors for people, or say thank you, and smile at people, or the same thing happens back to me. Let the jerks be jerks with each other, appreciate the people who aren’t that much more.
Chivalry isn’t dead, I just think that the feminist (the extremist version, I’m talking about the one that spells women with a Y) movement has really subdued it, because all of a sudden, when a guy does something nice for a woman, it’s seen as a sexual advance, or something equally as negative. It’s because of those reactions that NW points out that guys are less likely to do nice things. Let’s point out: Chivalry isn’t necessarily just doing nice things for women, it’s treating women with respect as well, which most of us haven’t lost.
chivalry exists its just becoming out of fashion it seems. however, i can understand why. putting out the little extra effort it takes to be a nice guy…and seeing many of the women take home the date rape/wife beater case waiting to happen must get old for some guys.
so ladies i suggest if you want to find the nice guys…open your eyes and look past the guy two fisting beers at the bar. maybe who you seek will be standing near the exit waiting to hold the door, and throw his coat in the puddle for you.
Blame feminism.
Never wrong: I’d thank you if you held the door for me! I love that shit. A lot of women do too, I just think we’ve gotten to a point, like other posters have mentioned, that if a man does that kind of stuff for a woman he’s scared it’ll be seen as a sexual advancement or even sexual harassment. So less and less men do it because it’s become almost a social no no.
Men do have it rough these days. You can’t look at a woman sideways without wondering if they’re going to scream sexual harassment.
It’s really sad it’s gone to that extreme 🙁
True story.
A smile when walking by gets you a frumpy scoff half the time.
I can almost hear the “PPPFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT, Fat chance” emanating out their holier-shit-than-thou heads.
still, door holding and general common-courtesy should be mandatory and really, almost subconscious.
As others have said – blame feminism.
I hold the door for male, or female. I find that the females almost never say thank you. Also, females have a knack for screaming ‘sexual harassment’ if a guy even catches her while she’s falling down on the bus (happened on the #52).
I love it when people hold the door for me.
That’s why whenever I have the chance, I do it for someone else.
Once I held the door for a woman at Park Lane and she said to me, “Wow, it’s great to be back home in Halifax. People are actually nice here!” It made me feel really good and I usually hold the door for people, thinking maybe they will notice, and maybe start holding doors for other people, too.
I hate it when I hold open doors for women and they have the nerve to not have sexual relations with me!
Wot up wit dat???
“wot up wit dat” is that you missed the actual meaning. that if you hold a door open for a woman she should sleep with you isnt the implication, obviously. simply the point is that with all the assholes expending no effort to be gentlemen and still finding women to date/screw/laugh about with friends…some question why bother being chivalrous.
I hold the door for people all the time. Most of them say thank-you. The ones who don’t piss me off. The other day I held the door for this girl, and I actually stood there for a bit (holding the door) for her to catch up because she wasn’t right behind me. No thank-you! So I said out loud “Your Welcome!” and she definately heard me. Ahh, that felt good!
Selina: I agree. Every time I hold the door for someone and they don’t say “thank you” I’ll very loudly say “You’re welcome!” just to embarass them. And if it’s a double door lobby (like the largest shopping plaza in Halifax’s West End), if they don’t say “thank you” for the first door, I’ll let the second one go right in their face. If they can’t be courteous, neither can I.
Why can’t you just hold the door for someone without expecting a big thank-you? Fucks sake. I do it all the time.
And I don’t like when people hold the door for me when I’m still 10-20 feet away. It makes me feel like I have to walk faster so they don’t have to stand there waiting.