So a friend of mine tells me she went out on the weekend and met some really cool people. Ok. She goes on to tell me that her and 9 other people were playing drinking games and decided on the ‘Never Have I Ever’ game. You drink if you’ve done whatever the asker says. The question “Never have I ever taken someone home from the bar/downtown?” Everyone except her take a drink. Ok cool, this is not the part I have the issue with, you want to take someone home, you’re an adult and can make these decisions. What I do have a problem with is the 9 other people noting my friend hadn’t taken a drink and telling her “what?!?! I can’t believe you haven’t, you’re not some kinda prude are you?!?” Ok, let’s remove sex from the equation. Taking someone from a bar home, that I just met, probably in an intoxicated state letting them know where I live is NOT SAFE.
I’m not sure what it is about Nova Scotia that thinks that crime doesn’t happen here. I’m not saying to think EVERYONE is evil, but lock your door, and don’t take strangers home. How hard is that to comprehend?
You know what, it probably is the liquor that makes people do foolish things… but it’s always the liquor right?
And to insinuate there’s something wrong with her… I just can’t anymore. —Baffled
This article appears in Oct 20-26, 2011.
The need to get laid will trump safety concerns every time OP. If you need proof of that, hit up the Dome. I’d totally go home with you.
I will bet that atleast one of them was fibbing.
People old enough to get into bars play drinking games?
I bet more than one was bullshitting to be “one of the crowd”.
And I seldom take stock in anything a pissed slut says anyway.
sad times when having morals is a bad thing..
It’s true OP, but a life without risk is no life at all. I think the bitch is not so much condemning others for their personal slutty choices, OPs just mad that people are shitting on their friend for being smart and respectful of his/herself.
Than again OP does say:
“lock your door, and don’t take strangers home. How hard is that to comprehend?”
Good advice, but it’s a free country, some of us like to live a little on the wild side.
Me myself, I do follow that advice, I’ve had some shitty experiences in bringing girls home and room mates bringing girls home. It’s not even worth it and I wouldn’t do it anymore.
“it’s a free country” I think OP understands that. Dumb is without borders though … and there’s no customs on the wild side of dead.
it would be interested to see who took a drink when the subject of STDs came up.
“dumb is without borders” very good donkadoo
Yes Donk, I just think it goes both ways.
People have one night stands.. it happens. OP shouldn’t be so judgmental. If she chooses to not bring strangers home that’s good on her, I won’t judge, and I’ll ask her not to judge me for doing what a lot of young people like to do, drink and have casual semi anonymous sex.
I’m not saying me personally, because, again, I don’t engage in that sort of behavior and would ADVISE (key word there) others not to either, but I draw the line at questioning someone’s intelligence and character just because they like to take certain risks.
Everyone has vices and no one likes to be judged for personal choices they make that don’t directly harm other people.
If you shot yourself in the foot ya know, just because you needed that thrill … that would be dumb, and I would call you dumb. I’m sorry TJ. You seem like a level headed guy, but a girl, a young girl, I gather … alone … no. Wasn’t it you who lamented about young girls walking alone at night and how unsafe that is … to me this situation is no different.
… ’cause the moment something happens … it’s “I should have known”, … if you have a vice, pay money rent a room for the night (but of course no one will do that, cause the alternative is easy). If you don’t have money, get a second job to facilitate your “after school activities”, or hit up the ones with the big bucks.
I cannot stop you from doing what you want to do, nor will I ever try to stop you, I would ADVISE (key word here) … it is a free world after all (*wink*) … but free does not cancel stupid.
When I go to a bar with my friends we drink and dance, and occasionally eat food. We don’t a) Play games reminisent of Dawsons Creek or b) let anyone leave with a random stranger!! Why? Because that’s how a lot of scary movies start, and also we care about eachother. Those peeps don’t sound like good friends, and it definitely wasn’y cool of them to bash your friend.Kudos to your friend for being smart and to you OP for being a good friend!!
🙂
Who the fuck cares what a bunch of dumb twats think of your friends high moral ground. Obviously she has more ambitions than being a drunk whore, good on her.
It’s an age old argument Donk.
I’d advise people not to smoke, or eat junk food or engage risky behavior but I’m not out to tell grown people how to live their lives. Then I’m that annoying pretentious prick that nobody wants to be around anymore. It’s their life.
Everybody does things they shouldn’t do. You can’t save people from themselves.
“We don’t a) Play games reminisent of Dawsons Creek or b) let anyone leave with a random stranger!!”
See I have a problem with that word LET. If your friend is at a bar then she is an adult and thus should be able to make her own decisions. I would never want to feel like a babysitter when I’m out having a few drinks with friends. Obviously it happens, and it’s part of the friend code, but if you are that scared of something like that happening and you don’t approve or want to see it, you should not go out with that friend. I’ve stopped going out with some of my friends for that reason. They need to grow up and I’m not their daddy. I’m paying to have a good time not be the little angel on your shoulder.
Do you really wanna be mother cockblock all night? Seems like a waste of money, time and energy. Sounds almost like walking a female dog in heat. Ever tried that? If she wants to fuck a stranger that’s her business, and she’s gonna do it one way or another. She’s grown.
Now, if she’s saying stuff like “oh thanks for saving me from that guy last night, I was definitely gonna do something I’d regret” the next day, then she can’t handle her alcohol and needs to be more aware of her limits. In other words take more personal responsibility. Also I’d advise you to maybe not go out with her until she can be responsible for herself, unless of course you enjoy being a mother hen/babysitter while you’re out spending money trying to enjoy yourself. You can’t blame it all on the alcohol ladies, nobody forced you to drink so much of it.
If you want to try and save people from themselves, go for it, but you’re ultimately not doing them any favors, they need to learn how to make their own decisions or they won’t be able to function on their own and will be one of these “what should I do?” all the time people.
Thanks for giving me something to ramble about Donk. Appreciate that. I don’t really disagree with what you’re saying, just saying that looking out for friends is one thing, babysitting them is another, and if you’re going to condemn one type of risky behavior you should take a look at yourself and realize that you probably do some risky things too that you just don’t really think about. We all do.
I get that it’s different for girls, I just think part of the reason it is different is because many of them don’t want to be responsible for themselves and expect people to save them when they lose control.. which kinda rubs me the wrong way as a responsible adult.
Cheers
Looking for Mr Goodbar?
what bar was that again, and when are they going again, the suckster needs to know.
Hmmmm the OB must be the Sleep Watcher offering advice. Hope your friend asked the next question: “How many people here have STDs or popped out a baby or two?” At least you friend knows who NOT to date or sleep with now.
“You can’t save people from themselves” … I think we’re saying the same thing … but you like to talk so damn much … I see why you’d want us to be “disagreeing” to continue … … this bitch (me) ain’t gonna be playin’ captain save a ho …
WHOA I totally typed out the part about you liking to talk before reading the part where you thanked me for allowing you to ramble! Kewl dude! Donk is typically a lady of little words … and I find I have this facilitating ability in real life as well … tend to play devils advocate a lot just to hear ppl talk … especially this piece who has a super duper radio voice *le sighhhhh*
Oh ps … you think Donk is mother cock block … HAHAH nope, my girlfirends do exactly what they want to do when they want to do it … You’re right, it is different for guys and girls … guys tend to want to nudge their friends on, you know, go on bro. Women generally play a more protective role. “mother cockblock” … you have some issues. It’s pretty evident you’ve been burned in the past, think women never go for the good “guys” and so anyone who even so much and hints that their drunk friend may not want to jump on your boat is cock blocking you. We’re not cock blocking YOU, we’re looking out for HER. “Mother cockblock” … you sound like every other douchey male to ever play that line. She’s drunk beyond belief, well EXCUSE me for asking if she really wants to leave with you … you impervious twit. ALL girls have played this part at some time, no matter what they tell you! She shouldn’t have had so much alcohol you say … ok next time your drunk ass tries to jump off a cliff, I won’t even bother asking “hey TJ you sure?” I’ll just stand the fuck back (in my high top gold supras, *cough* cause I only climb hills in style), drink (http://www.topshelfyachtprovisioning.com/i…) in hand and let you jump buddy. I don’t even know why you’re fixated on the “taking someone home to have sexy times” part … the sex part… really … who gives a shit. It’s the young girl + stranger part that’s getting me, ya know since I’m a young girl as well … and no, no, I haven’t taken someone home from a bar or gone to their place cause a) I live with my parents and b) you could be a psycopath, but I can’t discern that ’cause I’ve only talked to you for two hours tops in dim light c) I don’t know when last you washed your sheets, or mopped the floor, or Mr. Cleaned the shower … but that’s beside the point.
I don’t consider it saving TJ, I call it friendship. This is what friends do. Give her (the girlfriend) the “are you sure look” she says nothing or says it’s all cool, you keep moving. If you think all women don’t do this then … you’re mistaken. You can never tell me I’ve never checked, because I do care. I care. Sorry. To me, part of being a responsible adult is caring for the well being of the people around you, to an extent, to the point where you do not take away their choice making ability, i.e forcing them to do something they don’t want to.
Also … “…do some risky things too that you just don’t really think about” … sure I may do some risky things, but no way you’re gonna kill me, or stalk me or lurk at my window, if anyone is gonna kill me, it’s gonna be me … you’re telling me you don’t think about who you let into your house … on a dark night … oh good Lord, lemme call the sleep watcher for you, where do ya chill TJ?… since it seems that doesn’t matter, tell the internets. I don’t care how you slice it, that is stupid … but here we are again … can I stop you from stupid, nope! and that’s what makes life so colourful and interesting …
Write back soon,
Your pen pal
Donk.
http://trollcats.com/wp-content/uploads/20…
Heheheheehehe
The mother cockblock thing seems to have struck a nerve. I wasn’t talking about YOU personally, all those questions were hypothetical, but there are those who try to be their friends’ parents. And the friend typically resents it after some time. One doesn’t always know what’s best for someone else. I’m not talking about the things that pretty much every girl or woman does that you’re referring to I’m talking about the extreme cases. It wasn’t even directed at you either, but at Happy Komacha. So pipe down:)
There’s nothing wrong with stopping someone from jumping off a cliff OR EVEN LEAVING THE BAR WITH SOME CREEP! All I’m really sayin is people are ultimately responsible for themselves and sometimes you gotta let an adult be an adult. Yes I’d stop my drunk friend from doing something stupid. But I’d also stop hangin around them if they prove to me over and over that they can’t handle themselves to a certain degree, because I don’t like to keep the company of immature irresponsible people, especially when drinks are involved. Those people need some time on their own to figure out how to handle their business, not me making their decisions for them and keeping them from learning things the hard way.
“I don’t consider it saving TJ, I call it friendship. This is what friends do. Give her (the girlfriend) the “are you sure look” she says nothing or says it’s all cool, you keep moving. If you think all women don’t do this then … you’re mistaken.”
Of course! I agree! What am I born yesterday? Come on.. That’s not at all what I was talking about. What I was talking about is OP casting judgement on those who engage in casual one night stands. I don’t like when others judge.
Yes, it’s risky, but so is drinking, smoking, eating junk food, skiing, snowboarding, bungee jumping, driving, crossing the street, buying something, investing in things, getting into a relationship, moving in together or getting married, having children. BASICALLY LIVING! Even going to school and working towards a career is a huge risk and may end up being a huge sacrifice for nothing in the end and something you might regret a hell of a lot more than some sexual encounter, but I wouldn’t judge someone for doing any of those things. I would not try to tell anyone whether or not they should do any of those things because I believe in letting people make their own decisions, and in everyone dong what makes them happy. If someone wants my input they’ll ask for it and I’ll give it to them.
OP wants to chastise her friends new acquaintances for shitting on her for her own personal choices and then turns around and does the exact same thing to them! Hypocrite.
So tell me, do you get a kick out of my bullshit or do you just think I’m a douche? Be honest! A or B?
Maybe we could do lunch some time Donk, just bring that giant chip on your shoulder:P You’ve got me all wrong..
“Ok cool, this is not the part I have the issue with, you want to take someone home, you’re an adult and can make these decisions.”
You know I think I missed that part initially…..
My bad…
A bunch of fucking idiots for playing “drinking games”. I guess they forgot about the kid and the many others that didn’t make the news dying or worse. Where the fuck are the warning labels on alcohol.
Ok … WE ARE SAYING THE SAME THING! Omg, who says people aren’t making their own decisions. Good grief.
“…OP casting judgement on those who engage in casual one night stands” Oh funny … OP wasn’t talking about the sex at all … you know from this line “Ok, let’s remove sex from the equation.” …
“You know I think I missed that part initially…..” You had to have missed some part of something … “people are ultimately responsible for themselves” .. hurr durr durr durr derp derp durr … same thing we say same thing tj.
The difference is tact. One can think and action is stupid but never express the opinion or treat the friend differently. By attaching slutty to it you already show how you feel about said choices … or are you simply saying that a choice can be slutty … the same way a choice can be stupid … if you call someone a dumbass cause they over filled their coffee and it spilled over … judging? … stilletos in winter … stupid … or should I not judge? Taking a person I just met 2 hrs ago into my home (you know, where I reside, where I can be found at night) … stupid in my opinion … having sex (you know the casual encounter you speak of) with said person, meh … don’t care, you coulda had sex in the street, in a corner, in a hotel room, the bathroom, in the bush, under a bridge … meh meh.
The mother cockblock line I realize isn’t directed at me but I tend you speak in me terms, cause all I know is stuff from my experiences. I tend to maintain a more … level head (I’ve been told this by other people) regardless of the level of intoxication and yes, I do check on girlfriends. I’ve never been called a cock block buy a random but I know that this line has been used on other people. It’s used to make (women in particular … obviously) feel like you’re doing something wrong, when really … checking on someone, making sure they’re ok, never wrong in my opinion! … yes it tends to get me irate because since when did looking out for someones best interest become a crime … notice I said loooking out … kinda like your advising … not forcing them … If I was in a drunken situation, and really wanted to take someone home, I’d be thankful that some just checked to make sure I’m ok and if I am left me the hell alone. Had a friend once who was taking a guy home she’d just met asked her “you ok, you gonna come with us or go” she said “No thanks, I’m gonna go with him” … I gave her cab money cause I knew she wouldn’t have enough to cover fare back to her place. Did I think she was making a stupid decision? Certainly, would I ever tell her this? No. Why should I, it’s not my place. THAT is what I’m talking about. …but that has nothing to do with this bitch … I don’t even know why it factored into your argument. You made a great leap from a stupid decisions to cockblocking mother hens … I don’t get it …
… and you’re obviously not a douche … you twat.
“buy” ew gross spelling error
Donk an TJ-
Glad you made nice. I think it’s a bit different for males than females on many levels: safety, ‘playa’ guy or slut girl, etc.
By the way, I played this game in college. It was called “Well, I never” and you threw in quarters if you had done this thing. Pretty fun to play with friends–in 2 years, one of my friends had never stepped foot in the gym, another had smoked weed in the president’s garden, yet another had had sex in the library…See? it can be fun. Try it one night!
idk what dawson’s creek is…
What was is her first drink? In a bar? Moron on leave from the colony? Everyone’s done that. Fuck off.
The whole cockblock thing basically was because HK used the word LET. As in I don’t LET my friends leave the bar with randoms.. all I was really trying to say is you can’t LET a grown person do anything. If you try to, that qualifies as blocking. They’re gonna do what they’re gonna do, and my idea of a good night out is not worrying about my friends all night and trying to police their behavior.
And yes it’s risky, don’t worry yours and OPs point about letting strangers know where you live was not lost on me. I’m the same way, I don’t want randoms knowing where I live either, I’ve had shitty experiences in the past, not so much me but my friend who I was living with at the time. We were sellin a bit of weed out of an apartment at the time and she basically blackmailed my friend! She then proceeded to fuck our neighbor/client the same day she fucked my friend/room mate.
He’s an idiot, most def, for getting involved with this type of person, and letting her know where he lived the same day he met her (online btw) but after trying to make him see the errors in his ways for years I finally concluded that you have to let people learn from their own mistakes and live their own life or they’ll never really learn. Our friendship improved greatly. It became more of a friendship and less of a father/son relationship.
“It’s used to make (women in particular … obviously) feel like you’re doing something wrong, when really … checking on someone, making sure they’re ok, never wrong in my opinion!”
I agree. People misuse the word. A lot of the lame kind of dudes you speak of use it as an excuse for being shot down when really the girl just wasn’t feelin em. I’m not one of those. Have I been turned down by women? Of course. What man hasn’t? Have I had the kind of things you describe happen to me? Well, not in a long time, but trust me, you’re not teling me anything about women in your posts that I’m not well aware of, but thanks. Any guy who equates a friend checking up on her friend with cockblocking is definitely lame.
I’ve never said “her friend cockblocked me”. I usually use it in reference to other guys, not women, if I use the term at all. When someone uses the word “let” I feel like it’s appropriate. I made the leap from decision making to cockblocking because I was arguing two different points, one with you and one with HK.
Then YOU went and took what I said to mean that every girl who is looking out for their friend is cockblocking. All I did was ASK HK if she really wanted to be the “mom” of her group and try to stop her friends from making their own choices, and that I personally see that as a waste. Then you said that I had issues, and made some assumptions about me. Basically painted me as some bitter, scorned dude who blames in inefficiencies on others. Then you really tried to school me on female social behavior like I was 10 years old.
You’re the twat here 😛 but that’s ok. I still like you. Your heart’s in the right place.
“idk what dawson’s creek is…”
and hopefully you never will.
Welll TJ … like MM once told me … make it clear who you’re talking to. You sandwiched a cockblock between 2 different paragraphs where you mention my name etc … of course I was gonna think you directed it at me …
I know you’re not a douche … said that line sounded like one … doesn’t make you one. Eh does it matter what I think of you … I am but an insignificant digit easily rounded off. Really doesn’t matter. Donk is a twat, Donk knows this. “Schooling you” was definitely not my intention and I’m sorry if it came out that way. (I also think typing things over the internets … without hearing voice inflection etc. makes things seem a lot worse than they’re actually meant).
… and why would I want to meet you, you could be an axe murderer *hmph* or I could be an axe murderer lolzzzz
I just think you think too deeply about everything …
NEVER HAVE I EVER said something online that was misconstrued!🃏
“Women generally play a more protective role. “mother cockblock” … you have some issues. It’s pretty evident you’ve been burned in the past, think women never go for the good “guys” and so anyone who even so much and hints that their drunk friend may not want to jump on your boat is cock blocking you. We’re not cock blocking YOU, we’re looking out for HER. “Mother cockblock” … you sound like every other douchey male to ever play that line. She’s drunk beyond belief, well EXCUSE me for asking if she really wants to leave with you … you impervious twit. ALL girls have played this part at some time, no matter what they tell you!”
All because I asked HK a simple question. You didn’t mean for that to sound at all condescending or like you were trying to educate me? So sorry. My mistake. Don’t know how I misread that… *eyeroll*
I think we’re done here. We should have been as soon as you resorted to personal attacks and assumptions.
Till next time
that’s good, i was just about to get the hose^^
Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh whatever! … I’m eating candy staring at beautiful people.