Nine years ago I started dating a guy who I told right from the beginning I DON’T WANT KIDS…we just broke up because he “thought I’d change my mind.” WTF? NINE YEARS. You’d think he would have said something during that time…I don’t get it, any of you fellows care to explain? Oh, and might I add, after we broke up he said, “I had hoped you would have gotten pregnant by accident.” Uh. What? —Strange and Bemused
This article appears in Mar 25-31, 2010.
…It’s his fault for getting into a relationship with a woman who wanted something different. You were upfront and honest with him about not wanting kids. The fact that he planned on tricking you is pretty bizarre.
He clearly liked you enough to hope that you would change your mind. He probably hoped that it would happen by accident and then you’d be like, “Oh, this is so amazing!” Then you’d live happily ever after with the dream he wanted: you and some kids to care for, all that stuff.
As long as you didn’t lead him on to think you would want any and you were in fact up front with him with that (not wanting any), then you’re not really in the wrong.
Why would anyone want to inflict pregnancy and child-rearing on someone who wants neither? This happened to a very good friend of mine in reverse – his selfish girlfriend purposely got knocked up (they had been living together for 20 years), knowing full well he never wanted children. She sentenced him for life to a child he didn’t want. Like his girlfriend, your boyfriend has put HIS needs in front of yours although you’d be the one who would ultimately pay. Be grateful you are out of this relationship, kid.
Don’t worry “the trap” only works in one direction, you’re safe.
Yeah, that’s pretty lame Op.
I don’t want kids either, ever~! They are a waste of money.
An actual legitimate Bitch. Impressive.
hey sweetheart, pick me next time, i love kids, but have been fixed for a long time. i have enough small ones around me, not to need any more of my own. and if you decided to go that way, well you won’t be disappointed sexually either. sorry q., this one is mine.
Kids – the investment that tells you at 20 that you know fuck all. Yep, that holds great appeal for some.
Be glad you escaped childless from this guy.
I hear ya…hard to believe but it’s not easy to find a guy that doesn’t want kids. Luckily I did find one and no…I’m not changing my mind either.
You’ll find someone with the same values as you…but in the meantime. YOU’RE SINGLE!!! Enjoy the single life and realize you’re better off without this douche
I agree with the OP, if someone decides they want to be an evolutionary dead end, that’s their choice.
I think he did what girls often do…they get together with someone hoping to change them in some way…
Believe it or not, some people actually do change their mind as they get older. He probably cared about you enough to take the risk that you might fall under that category.
Halifaxguy11, dgaf, finally some decent supportive comments. 9 years is a LONG TIME! In the beginning, he was probably young, broke, and responisible enough to realize that children were not a priority for him. But like most people, he grew up. I hope nobody holds me accountable for anything I believed 9 years ago……
And bad mr frosty… Your comment was awesome too! As usual your sarcasm was lost on me at first… “evoloutionary dead end”…. A perfect way to describe anyone who doesn’t at some point want kids.
you should be glad. 9 years. ugh. too much. if he was trying to get you pregnant by accident. then what other schemes might he have had too. secrets and untruths. lies and manipulations. you should be glad. count your blessings and don’t decide to bring one of those things into the world cus you miss him. just enjoy your independance. who do you have to answer to now? you. who has expectations of you now? nobody. enjoy it for a bit.
what a creep. Who the hell wants to bring a child into this cruel world anyway?
Actually, just last year, a guy was charged with aggravated sexual assault for knowingly using condoms he poked holes into without telling his partner.
He was acquitted, but was that REALLY worth going through a trial and being charged with a sexual offence?
Not saying your ex partner would do this type of thing, OP, but it just reminded me of this case I had heard about in the news last year because why else would someone sabbotage condoms?
Here’s the verdict summary: http://www.courts.ns.ca/decisions_recent/2…
The acquittal pisses me off royally in this case, I have to admit. “Pregnancy and abortion are usually quite safe” according to experts…yeah, I thought it was a woman’s right to choose what she does and does not do with her body. This case completely forgets that in its verdict.
I remember hearing about that case, what a horrible thing to do. Some people are so frigging selfish. Pisses me off.
I have a daughter and I love her to death, but I’m kinda glad I can’t have any more kids.I’m getting too old for all the diaper changing and midnight feedings.Besides, once she turns 18..it’s PARTY TIME! Lol.
“I had hoped you would have gotten pregnant by accident.”
LOL…just as well you didn’t have an accident. He’s for sure not the brightest star…
I’m a childfree chick too… people just straight up don’t believe that any human with a set of ovaries really and truly does not want kids. Which is why I can’t get my tubes tied and probably never will be able to unless I pop out a couple spawn.
It sucks wanting to be with a girl, but she doesn’t want kids when you do. It really is a hard decision.
A lot of girls change their minds as they get older though. When they get comfortable in a relationship with someone. Not sure why after nine years it came out now (He probably didn’t realize nine had passed).
The real sad fact is all the women/young girls in our city who are wondering where their baby daddies are. 9 years.. that’s heart breaking. Millions of women would kill to have a man that dedicated to wanting to raise a child.
well he’s all theirs now! Have at’em.