You got two job offers for the same type of position, one here for $20/hour, and one out in Calgary for $32/hour. You took the Calgary offer, of course, since it pays better—makes sense. What doesn’t really make sense to me is the other main reason you chose it. “I’m tired of being single,” you told me. Apparently, there are no decent guys to date around here. I know you’ve had shit for luck when to came to dating, meeting duds all over the place, and you were right to reject those men—they were losers, you’re right. But now you’ve decided to dismiss ALL single guys around here and told me you would’ve given up and become celibate even if you stayed—you figure you’ll meet your future hubby out west. What makes you think all of the single men out there are any better? I don’t think it’s fair to dismiss all men in a certain city just because of a few bad apples. What are you going to do if you meet bad apples out there, dismiss all men in the enormous city of Calgary too?! -Positive Girl
This article appears in May 1-7, 2014.
Well, she will have more to choose from. Also, how old is she? If you’re a single woman in your late 20s or 30s and you actually have standards, finding a man worth committing to in a long term relationship in Halifax is uber fucking hard. How do I know? I’ve been there. I lived in Hali my entire life until I was 29 and literally met no guy I wanted a serious relationship with. I had fuck buddies here n there but by 25 I wanted something a little more. All I had for dating prospects were broke ass losers, or assholes, or creepy and weird, or completely what i wasnt attracted to physically. In the past 4 years, I actually had boyfriends and not fuck-onlys!! I’m currently with this sweet, hard working guy and he’s exactly my type! Yes there are duds here in Calgary too, but the quality is definitely better, from my experience.
Stand on SGR for a couple of hours and check out the merchandise on offer, I’m guessing you’ll be booking a flight to Calgary immediately after that.
Maybe she went out to put her hat in for the most eligible bachelor on the planet, you know, the one who played Batman. Only problem I see is, he’s probably jetting between New York and L.A.
MYOB FFS OP – My friend lived here in NS for 5 years and was actively dating and trying to find a decent man – she claimed the same issues. She moved to Montreal and was married within a year to a STUD and they’re still together. I have to agree with OB – the men here are broke bearded pussies and cry babies, and gigalos looking for a surrogate mommy.
I see nothing positive about having a job that is calculated by the hour – regardless of where you live. Most adults have no idea what their hourly rate would be, nor care! Usually, people would speak in terms of Halifax offering $36,000 vs Calgary $58,000. Maybe McJobs list their rate by the hour but with no guarantee of receiving 35 hours per week. Think about it. There is a difference between ”making” an hourly wage and ”earning” a salary. But, this bitch is about finding decent single guys – and that isn’t something I give shit about.
Lol I don’t think it’s very fair to dismiss single guys in Hali … Maybe people are searching for dates in the wrong places or hooking up with losers on bar nights? I don’t sleep around myself so I wouldn’t know what it’s like to have multiple partners or fuck buddies as you call them. As for Calgary, you actually think somehow that city would have a better selection?
I think the do rag is making a comeback.
Oh my gawd that is funny. Is it really?
CONSTANT CONJUNCTION
“I know you’ve had shit for luck when to (sic) came to dating, meeting duds all over the place, and you were right to reject those men – they were losers, you’re right.” Positive Girl
What we have here is an example of what we in philosophy call reasoning from induction or simply “constant conjunction.” But what is constant conjunction?
Generally speaking there are two forms of reasoning, deduction and induction. In the case of deduction we reason from indubitable premises (“All men are mortal”) to an instance of those indubitable premises (“Socrates is a man”) to a logically certain conclusion (“Socrates is mortal”). The difficulty with deduction from indubitable premises, however, is that the premise is not normally indubitable. It may be in the case of all men being mortal but such certainty is rarely found in other areas of daily life where people are concerned.
Fortunately, we also reason by induction, by “constant conjunction.” In the example given by Positive Girl we see that her friend, when it came to dating single men in Halifax, had just met duds all over the place so, reasoning from constant conjunction, her friend concluded that she would not find any men who were not duds. But was she correct in so reasoning?
Positive Girl doesn’t think so. As the philosopher Bertrand Russell, with whom Positive Girl is no doubt familiar, once famously pointed out some time ago, there is no reason to think that, when having pulled out nine black balls from a pouch, that the tenth ball will not be white. The constant conjunction of the black balls, in other words, gave no incontrovertible assurance that the tenth ball would not be white. The consequence is that, depending of the context in which it is applied, constant conjunction is fallible. It is open to doubt. So what is to be done? Two paths beckon.
At a theoretical level, one can engage the further question as to whether whether the outcome from constant conjunction is itself open to interpretation based on constant conjunction. In other words, just what is the degree of doubt one must entertain from a prior exercise in constant conjunction and can that degree of doubt be overcome by still a further feat of constant conjunction. The theoretical question is vexed, but we might gain some purchase on it by reference the case of Positive Girl’s girlfriend. Should she continue to search for a future hubby in Halifax?
Positive Girl clearly thinks so. She thinks that constant conjunction permits of sufficient doubt such as to suggest that her friend continue her search in Halifax. She thinks that her friend is placing too much weight on reasoning from induction, of reasoning from constant conjunction. The further question, of course, is just how much weight is too much weight?
But this further question takes the matter out of the realm logic, whether deductive or inductive, and into the realm of personal psychology, of the non-reflective emotions, and it is here that logic cannot follow.
Thank you for your patience and understanding.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
I think it is, saw a couple of thugs and thuglets in Freeman’s in Fairviewistan wearing them.
You think Halifax is bad — try finding a decent date in Wolfville.
It’s just all about the pool of candidates. It’s tight around here, especially with the exodus of the young single crowd.
^^Yup, that’s true. Young people with degrees and ambition instead of children and spouses (FYI: I’m in no way saying all married parents have no education or ambition) leave NS for better prospects, be it Alberta, Toronto, Europe, whatever etc.
A huge chunk of Halifax’s population consists of old people and young university students, individuals of two demographics that the level-headed 30-something wouldn’t typically date.
Unfortunately, in Halifax, any person worth his/her salt who just happens to be single in his/her 30s is going to have a hard time dating. The prospects are immature students in their early 20s, old people, and other singletons between the ages of 25 and 50 who are single for an obvious reason (ie. they are the defectives that science obviously wants to have die out).
I really hope you quality singletons out there in Halifax find one another, seriously. If not, stay single or move.
With all the self professed nerds on this Board not one “May the 4th be with you” on this May 4th.
^^^???
I’m just tired of dating low self esteem women that drink drink drink party party party – and they’re in their 30s!
Being tired of that scene is not a bad thing jhey….maybe you should try dating chicks who are a little older (serious advice).
Off to work–havee a great day jhey and all you lovely Bitchez!
so a guy from the city decides he should be a ‘real man’ and go hunting.
he buys a nice rifle (don’t ask me what kind I have no idea) and heads off in his llbean wear,
suv and packing his carbon steel carving implementa to the forest.
he tromps around for several hours looking for something to kill. then spots a bear.
BLAM! he fires at the bear. and misses.
the bear comes roaring over, enraged and powerful.
he grabs the man and screams in his face. “how dare you come into MY forest and shoot at me!!’
the man is terrified, sure he is about to become bear food.
the bear pauses, however, and says ‘look, i will make you a deal. its the only way for you to leave here alive.
drop your pants and bend over that log. when i am (ahem) finished with you get out of here and never come back’.
the man is horrified at the at the prospect of becoming this smelly, hairy beast’s bum-boy, but he doesn’t want to die
so he makes his choice. he drops, and bends over. mercifully, it is quick (or perhaps he fainted and lost track of time. )
the bear kicks some dirt and leaves over his quivering white buttocks and tells him to get out of his sight.
the man scuttles back to his car and drives home.
however, as he drives and thinks and remembers he gets more and more furious. ‘how dare that bear humiliate me’
so he drives to the gun store and gets an even bigger gun. the store guy (who actually hunts on a regular basis) tells
him it will stop a bear from doing, well, anything.
then he races back to the forest with bear killing in his eyes. he thrashes around for an hour before he sees the
object of his humiliation. BLAMMO! BLAMMO! BLAMMO! and misses entirely. again.
and once again the bear rushes at him, pins him to the ground and roars in his face.
but pauses as he recognizes him. ‘you??? you again??’
the man, shaking, nods in abject terror.
the bear takes a step back and say ‘you don’t learn the first time, what are you?
some insane scientist who keeps repeating the same experiment over and over
because he keeps getting the SAME result?”
he gives the man the same choices. the man makes the same choice. again.
and again he is bent over a log. not a pleasant experience.
this time the bear escorts him to the forest edge and boots him out, yelling ‘ learn your lesson!’
the man however drives to the gun store and buys an uzi. he races back to the forest,
charges in and spots the bear leaning against a rock and enjoying a post-coital smoke.
the man sprays the forest with smoking hot (ducks fat?) bullets. trees disintegrate, sod flies and birdies take flight.
but the bear is untouched. he misses entirely. again.
the man is aghast. his trembling fingers drop the uzi and he sinks to his knees in despair.
‘why oh why does this keep happening to me?’
ther bear ambles over, put a large, hairy paw over the mans shoulders and whispers in his ear
‘you’re not really here for the hunting, are ya?”
so the moral of this fable (not about anyone we know, just used to illustrate the point)
is that if something ‘keeps happening’, if you end up dating the same kind of person, if you end up working for the same kind of jerk,
or keep getting the same kind of service in stores then what part are you playing in making that happen?
regarding dating. either you deliberately choose those kinds of partners so you can trash them later, or those are the only kinds
of people who will date you. either way, it’s of your making. the first one that ‘happens’ could be an accident, and maybe even the second.
but not the third or fourth, or fifth. eh?
GDM,
It’s not like people deliberately chose bad people. In most cases, issues come out later on. If it were only as simple as knowing everything from the first encounter, yeah, that would be great; oh, you’re a depressed drunk with no imagination to do anything else? AND you have self esteem issues? AND you’re dishonest? Lets not date.
It’s slim pickings here after a certain age…
I learn my lessons, and don’t hesitate to end things. I guess I made the mistake in thinking that people in their 30s would be over that scene. I was overwhelmingly wrong.
The poor man in your story needs to hunt using the Vulcan death grip, not a gun. That’s just foolish.
would YOU want to get close enough to a horny grizzly to use the Vulcan death grip?
me? I would bake him a blueberry pie and then run (well, limp) away while he eats it.
I have had a few dates in my lifetime and never, ever got gobsmacked ‘later on’ about their characteristics or issues. I may have been over optimistic about my ability to put up with certain characteristics (because essentially, I don’t like anyone and should just accept that) but nothing ever came as a surprise. I have never dated a drug user (this does not include pot for gods sake) or a secret alcoholic or a secret philanderer. I have dated guys who would cheerfully jump anything that blinked, but I knew that ahead of time and frankly, with some people its part of their charm.
I did make a couple of bad judgements when I was very young teens but learned to trust my instincts after that.
I have seen people who continually make bad date choices. at that point, it really is deliberately choosing bad people. it’s not bad luck. look in their eyes for crying out loud. and not just to see your own reflection. you are not ‘learning a lesson’ if it only applies to that one person. the lesson must apply to future meetings. what you should be learning is how to evaluate people at first meeting.
yes, but how to deal with the slim pickings!
Using the Vulcan Death Grip would also require some serious Ninja skills.
many of your comments deal with your stated preference for quantity over quality. so????
Long overdue that we have a pissed off lesbian rant.
All I want is quality. I could care less for quantity.
What are you ranting about anyways? You make so many false assumptions about me in every post, it’s humorous.
It is generally well known, among my circles of friends, and from random conversations, that being single in Halifax in your 30s is a difficult experience. You might disagree with that statement, but you’d be hard pressed to convince me otherwise.
OB: It’s slim pickings once you enter your 30s in Halifax, but there are some real gems out there! At least, I keep telling myself that.
Don’t fret jhey–being single is superfun AND superhard at the same time, at any age…i agree, quality has it all over quantity…but the old cliche about how you find the real gems when you aren’t really looking is actually true (what makes a cliche a cliche;P)…my best advice to you is to have fun–don’t worry about ‘looking’, if you are as honest a person as you seem then you’ll know quality when you bump into it…love too 🙂
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I don’t know where you’re looking, jhey, but there are plenty of us in our 30s who are single and not alcoholics.
I, actually, know of no one in my age range who is what you paint us all to be, so really, perhaps the issue is YOU and your search.
Try something different, perhaps?
Cue Mr. Meaty to amble over, put a large hairy paw over jhey’s shoulder and whisper in his ear….
gad, how could I assume you kept dating low self esteem women who like to drink and party just from reading :
‘I’m tired of dating low self esteem women who drink drink drink party party party’
what was I thinking?
basil, I suspect op is straight not lesbian. and thinks there are nice guys in Halifax
GDM,
I had a few last year. But don’t worry, they were rather brief.
Sometimes you meet some really interesting people, and hang out. A few weeks later you realize – oh wait, all they do is drinky drinky. It happens I swear.
jhey, patience, respect, and honesty are the best way to go……still, it is really hard to find someone…..but if you look at how those three things are represented by the chicks you dig, then you should be able to sort out the ones who are cool and intelligent (even if they like to party), from the ones who are more ‘party girl’ than anything else.
You also may have to come to terms with the fact that the ‘party girls’ you meet may just not be at the point where they want anything more serious–guys go through that in their teens and twenties especially, and some behave that way throughout their entire lives, regardless of whether or not they are attached. We chicks can be a little delayed with the ‘sowing of our wild oats’, but we DO have wild oats to sow (most of us seem to, anyway)……sometimes you have to just enjoy the person in the moment and accept the fact that they are not ready to engage in anything more serious, even if you feel connected.
Things are not so black and white, jhey. You seem really cool, and I totally liked your ‘man list’. keep a cool head, have fun, and stop worrying…..that being said, also hold out (on big commitments) for something that feels real–you will know it when you find it, and it will be worth it…..so much so that you will wonder why you fretted so much when you were single!
Have a great day 🙂
SS
Shesang,
My complaining is in jest, of course. I’m a happy dude, and love strong intelligent and independent women. Last year I made a few bad choices, and then I moved on. That’s all.
But don’t get me started on some women I know complaining about not being able to meet good men while they drink every night at the bar. Then I’ll be ranting.
I must get my jeans hemmed, god forbid I look like a hipster with my rolled up bottoms!
correction! I transposed my words. ‘quality over quantity’ was the intended order.
jhey, glad to hear it 🙂 you are right about those jeans tho–better hem ’em if ya wanna keep up the ‘uber-hipster’ rep (fitted clothes)….you could really make that label stick if you cut your jeans yourself with one of your Grandad’s sharp antiques knives, and hand sewed the hem with Grandma’s old steel sewing needles and some locally made thread, all the while consuming an organic smoothie and bean sprout sandwich, of course! 😉
I dunno — by the time you’re in your 30s and you’re single, the jig is pretty much up. At least if you want to get married and have kids.
Maybe I’m pessimistic or something, but if you haven’t gotten your shit together at least a little by the time you’re in your 30s, there’s really no point in trying because it’s just a futile endeavour.
I don’t like the word “dud”. It implies that the man can’t be compatible with someone else.