I’ve spent the better part of the last 25 years exploring the Arctic. Armed with nothing more than a submachine gun and my wits, I’ve seen some incredible things. Mountains of snow! The Northern Lights! The skeletal remains of the Franklin Expedition! But I’ve also done some horrible things. I’m talking about the dogs. Oh, the dogs. I ate the dogs. One after another. The last one, Bilko, stared into my soul with baleful, ice blue eyes. That look. That look, not one I’ll soon forget. And the meat! Lean and stringy, kind of not worth it, if I’m being completely honest. This Bitch, then, is directed at me. Sure, I survived. But at what cost? —Forgive Me Bilko
This article appears in Dec 15-21, 2011.
U8K9?
Wow, all the way from 25 years of solitude and straight to the bitch board. Really? You were free, now you aren’t, this is sad. Have you ever looked into a cows eyes? Listen, no animal wants a human to go hungry.
Read the childrens book – The giving Tree.
It will make you feel better about your situation, I guarantee.
Oh gimme a fuckin break..
Post my King Kong bitch!!!!
I hope you had some Red Hot. I put that shit on everything…
lolwut?
Yawn…OB so you were…
hmmm what was that again ? ? ?D a m n I’ve already forgotten it, it was some drivel about hungry dogs or something.
Well look at the time, this early in the morning & I feel like a feed of nacho’s, mmmm nacho’s
..actually I asked a Laotian guy what his fave food was..he said dog..I told him he might wanna keep that to himself in the future
Shoulda joined the Bear Cavalry, OP:
http://www.themostawesomepageintheuniverse…
Better eats.
Also,:What Tommy said.
we need more bitches like this.
Thanks for the support Ivan
Wow, we are so honoured by your presence here Mr. Wade Davis sir.
😉
http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivation…
LOlz Hugo. Although I was thinking more of Bear Grylls.
“Garcon – another Piss-tini for Mr. Grylls. Light on the piss – heavy on the tini.
Anytime Thomas. Bring a hardcopy of the Kong Bitch to the summit. I’m willing to bet it’s a good ‘un
http://www.iisretard.com/wp-content/plugin…
Lies.
I really have nothing to say or add to this bitch. However, I would like to read Tommy’s King Kong bitch. I am sure it eloquent. 🙂
I prefer to get my iron from spinach …
http://everymeat.com/dog-meat/
I didn’t know it was possible for something to be both weird AND boring.
I’m not sure what the point of this bitch is? Did you eat the dogs out of necessity? As a means of survival? Dogs are eaten in many parts of the world, a vile and barbaric practice in my personal opinion. They’re highly intelligent social creatures much like us. Little wonder that cultures that embrace dog meat also have abysmal human rights records.
i smell bullshit with this bitch. but on the off chance it isn’t, i feel sorry for you. we do what we have to do to survive. that being said, you would be a wonderful buffet to me, if i was starving in a situation half of what i see and hear from friends in the services. been there, almost myself. i remember a time when i was lost, in the wilds of angola, that we were actually thinking of munching on a dead friend. it was almost 2 weeks, before we were found, and choppered out.
if you ever get in a fix like that, you will know what i mean.people have to do things, to survive, that they never, ever, would do normally. think o that everyone, when you sit down to dindin on this season’s day. there are actually people out there now, that are damn near doing this horrible thing, as i write this.
LS that is an awful thing to go through, after 2 weeks the mind would begin to go understandably wild. I am glad you were found before you had to do that. It would be awful to live with for sure. You are right there are cultures still doing this out of necessity. They say it happens in Haiti, North Korea and Asia etc.
LIFE SUCKS i smell a zany person. They sort of smell like pickles.
http://c1334242.cdn.cloudfiles.rackspacecl…
or cabbages….(or is that carnies?)
Your life seems to be loosely based off of a short story I read once. It’s about a man and his sled team stuck on an ice flow. He’s forced to eat his team and use their body’s for food and warmth. He saves his lead dog until last, and is haunted by the look his dog gave him forever after… but he survived.
Alas, I did not save a copy. I’m gonna start now though.. lol it was a lot like the KingKong902 comments, most of what I put in the bitch came out in those. It’s hilarious because that godzilla guy submitted that fictitious Impreza bitch the same night. Worked out in the end.
the best stories have tragedy in the end.
eating dogs and miraculously being saved right before dying? lame and WAY overdone.
eating dogs and dying right before being saved….
epic.
may be why I like Arlington Road so much.
I liked the end of that movie the Mist or whatever it was called when he shoots his friends so they wont suffer and then the army comes to rescue him like a minute later.
it was the mist and he shoots his family, like a 70’s movie, they usually had bad endings
or Rorschach’s exploding head…
exactly.
dare to be amazing
Without sweet n sour sauce, that’s just gross.
Gave me a welcomed chuckle this morning…better than a whiny “You suck and here’s why” diatribe.
Clearly this is a little piece of personalized fiction, shared for the amusement (and confusion) of others.
What story was that, @ OP, @ The Captain? It’s familiar to me too.
If Not For You, “The Giving Tree” is terrible piece of literature. The tree gave everything it had (including it’s life) and it still wasn’t enough for that little snot.
Yes it was funny bluegreenred though I’m not sure which part, the starvation or the fact that he had to eat his soulmate.
The holidays have me a little cranky today.
based on your critique, critter guy, i will pass on that dead tree
I didn’t rise to the top of the food chain to eat tofu burgers. I think it is crazy to feel guilty about consuming the flesh of another animal. In order to live, someone or something must die. The nurishment that I receive from Bambi or thumper or Fido is something that should be cherished and apreciated. Death is natural. Perhaps more natural than living.
I understand what you are saying GV but IMO a lot of people have a very anthropocentric attitude towards the animal world. There’s us and there’s them, there’s people and then there’s the rest of the world. We are the top of the food chain and the rest, well an elephant equals a mosquito equals a salmon equals a dog. I vigorously disagree, chimps share 96% of our DNA while wood ticks share about 44%. Quite predictably chimps are a lot like us in behavior and physiology, so from a human perspective chimps and ticks are not equals any way you shake it. This is purely a genetic perspective and does not include ecological niches and the role each play in their natural environment.
How about canines vs. bovines in the anthropocentric view? Trickier, as they both have about 90% of the same genes as people. Bovines have a rich history as the hunted whether it be wildebeest, buffalo or the aurochs, the precursor to modern cattle. Dogs? Physical evidence indicates that dogs have been domesticated for about 12-15 thousand years while genetic testing between wolves and dogs seems to say a lot longer than that, maybe 50,000 to a 100,000 y.o. All indication is that bovines have always been eaten and used as beasts of burden while canines have been been that as well as pets and companions.
Why have dogs been so successful as pets and companions while cows haven’t? Their ancestors, wolves, are organized group hunters much like people and have a social hierarchy much like people. Wolves receive love, companionship and food as part of this hierarchy and,somewhere along the line, humans and some wolves formed a symbiotic relationship where humans provide food and companionship in exchange for a wolf’s ability to hunt and provide early warning of intruders.
So are dogs and cows equal in the anthropocentric view? They shouldn’t be as dogs provide humans with so much more than bovines. They give people a sense of personal importance and responsibility, they give us some exercise and they are good for our health. There are positive implications for blood pressure, depression and immune system in living with dogs.
Dogs are like members of the family, a lot of people say that. So eating them? Figuratively a bit like cannabilism. Others will counter this by saying man has eaten dogs thoughout history. Well, man has eaten man throughout history. The ancient Incans did, the ancestors of the Navajo did, Neanderthal man may have, Polynesian peoples did and in New Guinea quite recently. I’m not talking starvation here, I mean a cultural practice as part of a ritual.
Quite interestingly, they had dog as a regular part of their diet as well.
This post is getting to tl:dr status so I will just reiterate that we are animals ourselves so on that point alone, not all animals can be considered equal from a human POV.
there is a big difference between needing to eat and just eating something because you can. long pig is never completely off the menu^^very thoughtful critter guy
Exactly pg.
Tommyjules- I don’t think I got that bitch… I even went back to double check and I don’t see anything… send again?
Dude…..stop drinking the Bong water!