To the men out there who refuse to initiate conversations with women: Grow a pair. Honestly I understand that some people are shy and what not, but not all of us ladies are bitches. Even if we aren’t interested we will let you down gently. I promise. Don’t let one or two girls set a bitchy stereotype for the rest of us. I have been going over what I’m doing wrong in my head when it comes to my love life and I think people, including myself, just need to open up a little bit. I know it probably sounds like I’m being bitchy, but thats why they call this section Bitch. I’m just getting tired of waiting. —Man Up
This article appears in Nov 17-23, 2011.
You should just try initiating the conversation yourself ;D
If it really were only one or two there wouldn’t be an issue
WOMAN UP
If I don’t initiate conversation, it’s not because I’m afraid you might be a bitch, it’s mostly because I’m afraid of looking/acting like a complete ass. Also, what Mel said.
There is no rule that states only men can initiate first contact. If you see what you want go and get it, how else would that person know you want them to come over and talk to you. It takes a lot of stones to just walk over to a woman/man and strike up a conversation, we’ve all done it, but you can’t dictate that responsibility to men. You and you alone are responsible for your own happiness, why pass up a good thing because of some preconceived notion of responsibility?
I don’t suppose it ever occurred to you OP, that if men aren’t initiating conversation with you, the problem may not necessarily lie with them, but rather with you.
Nope? Didn’t think so.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_I4MWy1DkbZs/SAdw…
Some of you *are* bitches. If it was only a few there wouldn’t be a problem.
Why don’t you initiate a conversation?
it’s hard for women to initiate conversation because the embarrassment of rejection is WAY more severe for a woman. It’s stupid, yes but it’s a reality. Men historically belong to the gender that puts themselves out there so some rejection is natural from the law of probability alone. But women? We historically do NOT put ourselves out there and when we do, it seems like a really big deal. And if we get turned down it seems so much more pathetic. Plus a woman who puts herself out there opens herself up to being called all kinds of nasty names that you guys are NEVER called..
Like i said.. yes. It’s very stupid. But it’s how it feels.
Of course.. perhaps that’s just because i’m a woman.
Having said all THAT.. i agree. Ask him first. Fuck it.. why not?
Try asking with a disability.
I’ve been doing online dating. I’ve had women pursue me aggressively, saying how cool I seem and it’s soooo hard to find a “nice guy”. And we have to meet.
Until they learn of my disability, then I’m not a man anymore.
Apparently, dating an asshole is better than dating someone who can’t walk but treats you like gold.
Though I did meet someone pretty awesone a month ago. It’s going pretty sweet. Jesus, I don’t want to online date ever again. So demeaning…
But! But! But! You’re so wonderfully awesomely wonderful, wheeliep! The women who don’t want to meet you because of your disability are shallow twats who you don’t want to meet anyway. You just have this… ‘wheelieness’ that I can’t describe. It’s like anyone who meets you can’t help but think you’re wonderfully awesomely wonderful.
You put something in that cologne, don’tcha?
ANYWAY, on topic — I think it’s harder for women because socially women are always seen as holding the cards. It’s like this: a women could seemingly go out in the middle of the road and yell “someone fuck me!” and it’d be ok and men would obviously come running, but if I man did that he’d be carted off to jail. So when a woman is rejected it’s so much more… embarrassing, I guess.
I think it just seems like when a guy is rejected he can just be all “a’ight” and move on. When a woman is rejected we can’t help but think there’s something wrong with us.
However true or not true that might be, that’s what it feels like from a female perspective.
That and women who pursue men are often seen as ‘forward’ and even slutty by some.
Plus, it *is* nice to be pursued by a guy from a female point of view. Some of us do hold ‘old fashioned,’ still.
“I think it just seems like when a guy is rejected he can just be all “a’ight” and move on. “
if ONLY that were true.
some of us really take it to heart…
Meh. I’m a bitch.
And yet – you bitch.
hey man up, so what are you doing this week end. send me an email, and maybe we can make something happen. there you go babe, i started the convo. give me a mail. gary_more@hotmail.com. no shit, really.
Thanks, PK. You’re a doll. Actually doll-sized!
Dating can be such a minefield. I had months of crap, or first dates with no fire, then I meet someone and she seems to see the Me inside here, and really likes that guy. I feel the same about her. She really is an awesome gal. Maybe I could convince her to come ro a pre-Xmas Summit…
🙂
While you and I(and my mom) know how completely amazingballs and awesomesauce I am, it’s weird but true- wpmen don’t set out to land a disfigured guy.
I suppose they don’t, but seriously, everybody is fucked up in some sort of way. I’d rather date a nice smart guy who uses a wheelchair than that coke addict I dated a few years ago. Those chicks who bailed on you would benefit from some perspective…
Smile and look like you’re enjoying life … look like the most confident (not cocky) woman in the room, even if you aren’t … be approachable … and trust me, they will come (even those that you’d rather have stay away). And, good things don’t always come to those who wait … take a little initiative. As long as the man you’re approaching isn’t a complete douche, you have a brief exchange after which time (if you can read signals at all) you’re either gonna get a ‘go’ or a ‘no go’. If it’s a no, perk up your titties (even if they’re little), smile and move on with your head held high. Life is too short to play the ‘what if he doesn’t like me’ game, so pick your panties out of your bum and go for it.
i disagree pk, men have hearts too
Love yourself, and Love will find you! 😀
Ps- Wheelie You are wonderful!! 😀
You are so right, Geekchick, but I’m not going to be the one to teach them. I’m too busy being lil ol Me.
Squeeee!
The OB is probably one of those women who always expects the guy to pay for everything.
..ummm..”and if we’re not interested..easy..let .down..” righty right than and where would this world be you are occupying..I’d like to visit it
Oh I know men have hearts, PG — I’ve broken a few myself… I’m just commenting on perception.
LOL ‘doll-sized’
You killz me, wheelie!
*le sigh*
I’m a huge believer in fate. (Everything happens for a reason, even if we don’t fully understand or know what that reason is.) And as weird as this may sound, it is a proven fact that the minute you stop actively “looking” for that special someone, is the exact time that you will meet them. I didn’t believe this at first but it DOES work. I will guarantee you that when you say to yourself, “Ok. I’m done trying to find someone. I’m officially pulling myself ‘off the market'”, and just carry on with living your life, it won’t be long before THEY’RE knocking on YOUR door. (And a lot of times it ends up being the person you least expected. The one that was under your nose the whole time.) I’m serious. It works. My advice would be to not try so hard and just go with the flow. Be yourself,(as cliche as that sounds), and let things happen naturally. Try it. I promise, you will be very pleasantly surprised.
Eh. Been there, done that, still single, vasite.
Damn, I’ve been off the market, really, for a good, oh, three years and I’m still bumpin’ along solo.
🙁 Sorry Kitty. Personally, I would think you’d get snapped up in a second, just going by what I know about you, (which really isn’t much lol) and having seen your pretty self in person.
I’m not sure if this will be of any consolation to you or just scare the everliving shit out of you, but if I didn’t presently (and happily) have a SO in my life, I’d be lookin’ in your direction. 😉
Why, Oh Why do the religions that allow polygamy, forbid the consumption of caffiene, the flesh of the swine and the fermentations of wheat and grape.
WHY DOST THOU MOCKEST ME, OH VENGEFUL ONE?
>; )
ummm….
“Everything happens for a reason, even if we don’t fully understand or know what that reason is.” … doesn’t equate to fate.
In fact, it’s pretty much just a tautology… and Newton’s Third Law plays a part in there too.
Stop looking and they’ll fall into your lap eh?
That work in prison too?
or solitary confinement?
or those astronauts stuck in the chamber testing the Mars travel time?
it doesn’t have to happen… it’s not ‘pre-destined’ or ‘written in the stars’…
in fact, it may just be the law of averages in that you see so many people in the course of a day, eventually someone comes along that can tolerate you to the extent you require.
which leads us to the all important…
if you’re single and looking to mingle… GET THE FUCK OUT AND MINGLE ALREADY.
they aren’t going to find you while you’re alone in your apartment/house/parent’s basement/attic/driving in your car….. ad infinitum.
bah, whatever.
fate’s a crock of shit… destiny is hotter than my cat’s latest steaming pile…
in fact, it’s pretty much all worthless in the broad scheme of things anyways so either stop worrying or just stop caring all together.
It doesn’t really matter either way.
sebastian, aren’t they supposed to?
Penis size is directly proportional to wallet size after all.
😛
“That work in prison too?
or solitary confinement?
or those astronauts stuck in the chamber testing the Mars travel time?”
Having never served any time in prison nor been selected as a suitable candidate for the space program, (even though I have been called a space cadet on occasion), I can’t answer any of your questions, zZz. All I can do is speak from personal experience.
“in fact, it may just be the law of averages in that you see so many people in the course of a day, eventually someone comes along that can tolerate you to the extent you require.”
I never liked math.
“fate’s a crock of shit… destiny is hotter than my cat’s latest steaming pile…
in fact, it’s pretty much all worthless in the broad scheme of things anyways so either stop worrying or just stop caring all together.
It doesn’t really matter either way.”
Wow. You’re entitled to your opinion zZz and please don’t take this the wrong way but, what a totally depressing way to look at things. I can only assume that by your obvious bitterness, you’ve had a rough go of things in the romance dept. (I know I run the risk by assuming. If I’m totally off base, I apologize. The fact is it’s none of my business) but Jeebus, man. You got to have at least a LITTLE bit of faith.
Anyway, like I said, I can only base this on my own personal experiences. Someone told me the same thing I had mentioned in my previous post and it worked. Total fluke? Maybe. I like to think there was more to it than that.
let’s just say the ‘ol zZz train is ‘complicated’…
as anyone would attest.
Faith’s running in low supply…
I’m 30 and have way more questions than answers.
On an unrelated note, zZz, are you planning on going to the Halifax Int’l Motorcycle show in Feb?
http://therealmotorcycleshow.com/
Looks pretty good. I haven’t decided yet.
avast0 – “Everything happens for a reason” – have to disagree with you there buds, ‘some’ things do happen for a reason, but not everything…free will and all that 🙂
———————
The ladies are saying it’s harder for women to approach men, …well… to get and keep a womans attention, a man has to be witty, charming, well-dressed, wear nice shoes, and have a good job… a woman, just has to be there 😉