To the boisterous couple above our apartment: FUCK MORE QUIETLY. At least, if you have to be that loud, fix your squeaky bed. Or get a new frame, hearing it slam up against the wall keeps us awake at night.
Also, girl, you are SO faking it. No one should scream like that. Not even in porno. Its not sexy, at all. If I knew it wouldn’t disturb our other neighbors, I would scream that way when I got some just so you could understand how stupid it sounds.
In short: pick up some WD40, and a ball gag. We’re begging you.
—cranky and turned off
This article appears in Jan 29 – Feb 4, 2009.
Sounds like my next door neighbour. Do you live in my building? I can’t stand that BS. At the very least when I do anything of that I’m quiet about it.
The people who live above me are really loud. It’s crazy!
It would be easier if they were below you to lower a microphone (outdoors in summer), record it and play back at high volume on a sterio system.
You could bark and howl like a dog. Or do a very loud imitation of their fucking.
i say fuckin noises get a free pass, however, squeaky bedframes and slammin headboards are just damnd inconsiderate
lol. I managed to live in my apt building for over a year without hearing anything, but then this past summer while chilling on the couch, I could hear some girl moaning in some other apt (my window and theirs, I assumed, were open). Then I shut the window and turned on the tv and could still hear everything!
I will plead guilty to faking it at times, but come fucking on, screaming like the op said is not necessary, faking it or not!
A friend of mine had a roommate once who was SO loud not only could she hear screams from across the house they rented, but she could actually hear smacking noises. NASTY.
Thank god I live in a building with mostly seniors (widows and widowers, mostly — the seniors in my building are quite elderly) and it’s a pretty soundproof building (concrete)…the only thing I worry about is how you can hear the goings on in the apartments when you’re in the hallways and I used to live by a major side entrance and I was constantly paranoid someone would hear me especially in the afternoon when the traffic was quite heavy :|
Perhaps the neighbours don’t know just HOW loud they are? Maybe consider leaving a note under their door asking them to be a little bit quieter. Don’t sign it though (so it could be any one of their other neighbours — makes it less awkward for you and them). They might just be embarrassed enough to stfu and be a little quieter. I know I would. I’d be mortified.
I’m with nine-o, the hardware is a little excessive.
I say you cheer em on next time.
pick him or her and back em like their playin in the superbowl.
If you really want it to stop, just ruin it for them. Every time they start going at it hot and heavy, go upstairs, wail on the door as hard as you can, then run away. Repeat. Keep doing it until they either quit making noise or stop fucking.
Call the cops and report a domestic dispute in their apartment. Not only does it work, it makes for an incredibly embarassing event when the cops figure out what they were *actually* doing…
You could just purchase a ball gag and put it on their door knob….that’d probably give them a hint.
Hey, could you tape record it and send it to me? It’s only once in a while that I can hear neighbours having sex and i want to hear sex whenever I want! I live alone so I don’t have a chance in hearing a roommate getting it on. I’ll give you my contact info if you want.