I wish you would just acknowledge that your actions affect me everyday. I wish you would see that while you THINK you are being a great boyfriend, I am quite disappointed on almost a daily basis. I know the smart thing to do is bail and find someone who appreciates me for all I am, but I love you. Love sucks. I hate it. —Waiting For Time
This article appears in Apr 14-20, 2011.
Eh. It’s tough (really tough), but you just have to rip that band aid off and cut the bugger loose.
It’ll suck for a while, then you’ll wait up one day and it’ll suck less and another day it’ll suck even less until eventually you’ll wake up and it won’t suck at all. 🙂
Once again, another one that enjoys the emotional abuse but fails to do anything about it. Is the OP chained to the house? Likely not. Open the door and leave. It’s not that complicated.
Sebastian,
Al though I am not the author of this bitch, I was once in an awful abusive relationship. You should not be so quick to judge. It is very difficult to get out of these relationships. You are tied to them with a know 100 times over. It is emotionally draining, your self esteem and confidence goes right down the drain and no matter how wrong you KNOW your situation or how much you KNOW you deserve to be treated better, you stay. I have no other explanation. Getting out is nearly impossible and once you do it you are emotionally bruised for what seems like forever. Getting back up off your feet hurts more than being in that relationship hurts.
It’s not that we don’t do anything about it, you fool. It just takes a long time to gather up the courage. Many of us are afraid that we’ll get even more hurt if we leave. We fear for our lives.
Again, don’t be so quick to judge. Shame on you!
OP, you’ve answered your own question.
DTMFA….most people do not know LOVE and assume they are “in love” but only realize true love when someone comes along who loves them…..that is the difference.
Where’s the abuse in this?
Out come the “HE ABUSES HER!!!” brigade!
She sounds like the one with “Pretty Princess/Nutbar Hosebeast” problem
You’re right, Matt — the bitch says nothing about OP being abused. Her bf’s simply a douche nozzle. They’re obviously not a compatible match if he bothers her so much.
Love isn’t always enough.
This is love?
Maybe in the dysfunctional sense. True love is something quite different.
Tried talking to him? If you love him and he loves you then why not. I never understood that about relationships, We ain’t mind readers, talk to each other if you love each other and are unhappy.
I think, OP, if you give yourself the chance to look and find love elsewhere, you will find you’re not experiencing real love right now.
But to play devil’s advocate, sometimes you need to come out and tell a man when he’s doing a shitty job of being a boyfriend. If he doesn’t realize it, like you say in your post, perhaps he needs to be told. Sometimes men are dense, they’re not mind readers, and they need to be told to shape up or ship out.
Best of luck either way.
http://lucaslucifer.files.wordpress.com/20…
and remember
http://www.posters.ws/images/416599/david_…
Op I agreed with everything until the “shame on you!” came. To that I’m giving you the gurrl + side eye look.
Anyway, it is very difficult and I do not doubt that, but the pain is only momentary. You must do what you must do, and staying will only make you weaker and bitter.
This is very vague so we really don’t know. She could be a super nit picky psycho with crazy unrealistic expectations about what a “boyfriend” should be. There are plenty of ppls like that out there.
More likely he’s just a shitty boyfriend but if you “loooove” him soo much why not talk to him instead of submitting an anonymous bitch? You even say that you know that he thinks he’s a great boyfriend. That must mean that you haven’t told him that he’s not. If he thinks he’s great boyfriend then that means he’s probably not cheating or abusing you. If he’s doing those things and thinks he’s a great boyfriend he’s just plain stupid. Closed mouths don’t get fed. I think if more people lived their lives by those words they’d me much happier. These girls (I’ll refrain from using the word bitches) kill me.
I’m with PK.
Rip the band aid off. It’s not easy, but if shit is how you say it is, it’s only going to get worse.
On the other side of things, I tend to think that people are actually addicted to drama. The kind of people I’m talking about, I don’t think they will ever be in a functional relationship, unless they grew up a bit.
For the record: I’m not saying that is you OP.
Don’t hate love. Hate yourself for being spineless and for accepting shitty treatment from said boyfriend. You don’t love him – you just can’t be bothered starting over.
no o.p., love doesn’t suck, but sometimes life does. you have to figure out what is best for you, then act on it. if everyone settled for the moment, then there wwould be a zillion lonely people out there.
people have to realize tha the earth will keep turning, no matter what they do. short of blowing it the fuck up, that is. and i don’t think you are capable of that. figure out what is best for you, and then let the suckster know, i am there for you.
Viagra.
WHAT IS LOVE?
“I know the smart thing to do is bail and find someone who appreciates me for all I am, but I love you.”
The operative words in this crucial sentence are “smart” and “love.” The poster assumes that the terms are disjunctive, i.e, love is not amenable to rational (or “smart”) analysis. The “smart thing” to do would be to bail but she can’t because she “loves” him. Is this right? Is romantic love, by its nature, irrational and so resistant to any considered reflection? Are we, in effect, little more than the play-things of our emotional whims?
There is, of course, a sexual foundation to romantic love. It is, by its very nature, freighted with sexual attraction. Does this mean that love, as the old saying goes, is just “One pair of glands calling to another?” Is there then no distinction between “infatuation” which is generally discredited as “immature love” and “true love” which, by contrast, is considered to be the “real thing?”
At the metaphysical level one might well ask as to whether, unbeknownst to us, we fall in love with those who are in some way our “soul mates,” those with whom we find a real but indescribable bond. Is there some higher-level plan here or, on the contrary, is love purely a contingent, this worldly matter, little more than a throw of the dice? If the latter, are our lives ultimately irrational and incoherent? One hopes not, but it is difficult to bring evidence in support of the contrary claim.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
there are many kinds of love monsieur. you love your dogs, yes?
WHAT IS LOVE? (II)
Yes, Paingirl, I do indeed love my dogs but I was concerned specifically with “romantic love,” i.e., human male-female love. (Got to read those words!)
My point was that if romantic love is, on the one hand, one of the most intense emotional experiences most of us will ever have and, on the other, it is resistant to rational analysis, does this mean that our lives are basically irrational and incoherent? Does it mean that one surge of emotion simply follows on another without rhyme or reason?
Put in philosophical terms, the traditional question is whether or not emotions have a “cognitive core,” i.e., one accessible to rational analysis. Philosophers come down on both sides of this question but I don’t recall ever having seen a convincing argument in support of the claim that they do. This would then seem to boil down to the view – was it the Scottish philosopher David Hume who said it? – that rationality is not, after all, man’s distinguishing feature but rather it simply serves to justify his emotional whims. It’s all a matter of chocolate or vanilla, and take your pick.
Food for thought, one might say, but then one is forced to wonder, if emotions do not have a cognitive core, just what effect any such “thought” might have on the question at all.
I’ll be thinking of you.
Cheerio!
WHAT IS LOVE? (III)
Oh baby, don’t hurt me
Don’t hurt me no more
Oh, baby don’t hurt me
Don’t hurt me no more
http://i991.photobucket.com/albums/af32/Do…
sorry, couldn’t help myself.
screee
WhAT IS LOVE? (IV)
Thank you More for your input on this difficult question although, to be honest, I’m not sure that you have resolved the issue.
My guess is that, judging by the mindlessness of the verse you cited (“Don’t hurt me!”) as well as the equally mindless occupants of the car in the visual, I suppose that you come down on the negative side of the philosophical question, that emotions in the last analysis do not have a “cognitive core,” that they are not amenable to rational scrutiny. But there is a difficulty here.
Your negative assessment of the dilemma seems to imply a rational view – i.e, that emotions ARE susceptible to a coherent rational analysis, albeit if only a negative one – and so your verdict that they are NOT so accessible is self-contradicting and, of course, is incoherent.
But I could be wrong. I’m sure you can help me with this.
Cheerio!