I work in a tall building, and use the elevator frequently throughout the day. What seems like a petty and minor thing, has begun to irritate me irrationally. And I don’t think I am completely off-base.
The elevator cannot stop at a floor, it would seem, without somebody being confused about the most basic an intuitive aspect of elevator functioning. Namely; is this going up? Or down? Better stick my arm through the closing door to clarify with the people who have already stopped at every floor and are just hoping to not waste 50% of their lunch break answering questions about the elevator…
Here is a tip for those of you that are just joining the late 1800’s when elevators came into use: When the very large, illuminated arrow pointing upwards lights up and the elevator dings, that means the elevator is going UP! Always! There is NO EXCEPTION to this rule, and there is no rational reason to delay the door closing to clarify this with those of us who somehow learned to decipher this cryptic system.
Come on! Look at the arrow! It is incredibly simple! Unless you are blind and being led by a seeing-eye dog, I am heretofor refusing to answer this asinine question ever again. I will stand there and stare blankly at you, hopefully igniting in you a desire to develop some semblance of situational awareness and an ability to not be annoying and stupid. —The Guy Rolling His Eyes at Your Dumb Ass
This article appears in Apr 12-18, 2012.
This reminds me of a joke from the summer of 1976. Ella Fitzgerald marries Darth Vader and becomes Ella Vader. It’s a marriage full of ups and downs.
Yes, I am aware of the fact that I suck. >: (
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Gulag inmates are saying – there’s that Crazy Ivan, laughing out loud at his desk again.
that doesn’t bug me as much as the button stabbers. you know the ones i mean, the fools who keep jabbing the button, hoping the elevator will magically come because they pushed it 50 times. my fuck, i would love to punch some of these idiots in the fucking head. but being a nice guy, that i am, i refrain from doing so, for now. you just never know when i will finally snap, and you might be on the recieving end. tata.
Life Sucks…..y u so angry?
The big question that everyone is dying to know, Ivan, is did Ella ever….(ahem)….”go down” on the Sith lord? (*chortle, gfaw, chuckle, snicker, snort*)
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Honestly, this drives me crazy as well. Especially the arm thing.
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My favourite are those who need to stand directly in front of the buttons at all times!
MAD’s Al Jaffe’s Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions:
“No, it’s not going up, it’s going sideways.’
I was at the V.G. the other day. I was on the fourth floor going to the ninth. I pressed the button to go up, a moment later the elevator behind me dings but no light. The door opens with a couple of people aboard, so I ask “Is this going up?”
To OP, I would be a nimrod because he’s in the elevator with the working light pointing upward. Things aren’t always what they seem.
However, if you’re on the ground floor and ask if the lift is going up, you are a nimrod.