To Mr Tall, Dark and Accent, when you first walked into the coffee shop where I worked, I was instantly smitten. Who wouldn’t swoon? You’ve gotta be at least 6’3″, you have the deepest brown eyes, the gentlest manners, and such a thick, beautiful British accent, I could barely understand your latte order the first time. I can’t place your wicked-awesome accent, but my best guess is it’s Northern. Is it Northern? Well, now I’ll never know.
I waited for about 2 months for a chance to strike up a conversation while you stopped in for a tea on your lunch break, (you work just across the mall from me), but that golden opportunity just never presented itself. I’d always just miss you, or a co-worker would serve you before I got the chance. You’ve got to understand something, Mr. T, D & A—I am insanely shy—it was going to be a challenge for me just to look into those beautiful brown eyes, ask where you’re from, and hope the conversation went SOMEWHERE from there. But since that wasn’t an option, I chose to take matters into my own hands, and introduce myself the best way I could think of. I brought you a cup of tea while you were working one day, with the message, “To the cute guy at INSERT RETAIL ESTABLISHMENT HERE, from the tall girl at INSERT COFFEE SHOP NAME HERE”. I said that it was for you, and you asked why. I answered with, “because I think you’re cute”, and pointed to the message on the cup.
That was in November. You never said a word to me after that, and you stopped coming into the café. I heard you have even become a regular at INSERT RIVAL COFFEE SHOP NAME HERE. You didn’t have to want me back—I would have settled for a “thanks, but no thanks”—just SOME form of acknowledgement would have been nice. And seriously, you started drinking INSERT RIVAL COFFEE SHOP NAME HERE just to avoid me? Ouch! —Disgruntled Barista
This article appears in Apr 7-13, 2011.
keep it in your pants while you are on the job. If i owned said coffee shop id be pissed that I’m losing customers because my employees cant stay professional at work.
Aw, I don’t know… we’re always saying “just go for it” to people who are shy, because you never know whether it would go somewhere or not and if you stay mute, maybe it definitely would never happen.
So whatever, you gave it a shot, nothing wrong with that. The poor guy must be shy himself or something. So he couldn’t just move on. Whatever. His loss OP.
I think this would be creepy……it’s a frikken coffee and he probably never spoke to you other than to request a beverage…..so much so he started drinking elsewhere.
He probably just didnt have the balls to tell you he wasnt interested so he peaced out instead. Keep your head up and don’t harbour resentment.
when you get aids or some other little fun love bug, remember this o.p., I TOLD YOU SO.
There is a right way and a wrong way to ‘go for it’ and the opportunity doesn’t always come up. Fail.
He could be married, have a gf, gay, or just a customer who thought it was a little creepy (exchange genders in this situation and se what is said). He’s smart by avoiding you at all costs so no misunderstanding or other problems will arise. You took a shot and lost, life continues.
You were a little over the top DB. You might have spooked him by being so direct, or maybe his signifigant other found out and he’s no longer alowed in your shop, maybe he doesn’t like girls, whatever. He doesn’t really ‘owe’ you an explanation, it would have been the polite thing to do, but not required.
At least you tried DB, which is more than I can say (I chickened out big time)
oops *significant*
should have gone with drawing a ninja turtle… or pirate skull and cross-bones…
a good way to get noticed without the blatant come-on.
Did you bother to aks if he took his morning cuppa with one lepus or two?
http://planetjan.files.wordpress.com/2008/…
Is this even considered a bitch?!
You weren’t DTF that’s why op.
Seriously though … after receiving that he probably thought back to all the times he came in and you were there and realized you were creeping him … plus you were on the job. You know where he works … dress in normal clothes and go in there … Jeeeeezus
Apparently so, Senor. Oooh the world is ending because some guy didn’t like OP back and didn’t give her an explanation.
Look, OP, i’ve been there. Trust me, I’ve been on the receiving end of unrequited affection and sure it sucks, but you should be moving the fuck on by now. November? Jesus. I had this situation come up (not the EXACT same situation, but you know what I mean) like a month ago and I’m completely the fuck over it. And this person wasn’t a complete stranger.
Did this guy owe you an explanation? No. Would it’ve been polite? Sure. But you really have nothing to bitch about. He’s obviously given you a response by not returning. It’s not a crime to not like someone back, a, and b, it’s not a crime not to spend his time giving you any explanation because oh hay, you’re a stranger.
At least you got in that practice admitting your feelings to someone. That can only help in the future.
Sorry if I sound harsh, but my GOD if this one rejection is still bothering you 5 months later, I’m quite worried about how you’re going to handle rejection in the future.
OP- i have come across numerous guys who are stalkaphobic. One got completely freaked over a girl online recognizing him in public off a website. To me, that’s silly.
I wait until the guy makes the first move, then I’m never embarrassed.
Are you off your meds again, LS? Your comments are strikingly similar to the ramblings of the urine-scented gents who frequent the alleyways off Spring Garden.
That goes back to the whole “he’s just not that into you” concept, Rawr. I mean, if he was into you he’d’ve thought about it himself, right?
So, if he doesn’t make a move, is it a lost cause? Should us ladies just not bother unless the menz are practically begging us to go out with them?
I’d actually really like to get some male input on this — because I’m really of two minds about this whole business.
Thoughts, gentlemen?
PK, if you see someone who interests you, go for it (nicely). Waitig for the man to make the first move is…outdated.
So the coffee and little note may have been too far, too much, too soon – but still, she should have “gone for it”.
Good to know. 🙂
Definitely not a cool move. I wouldn’t have come back either if I knew someone had a bubblin’ crotch for me.
lol ralmn, there’s a fine line between cute and creepy. I’ve been trying to figure it out for ever ;(
If I did that to a female customer I’d expect to be fired. Nice move, stripper poles or not.
Yeah I’m with Hugo. I know I personally would rather a girl approach me because I’m way too shy and nervous to actually approach someone. ^^;
You should have just went in without a cup of tea and said, “Hey, would you like to go out to get a drink after your shift ends?”
At least that way if he said no you wouldn’t have come across as incredibly awkward and creepy. Giving a guy you don’t know a cup of tea while he’s at work with a little sign on it that says he is cute is kind of overkill…
Shy and nervous? Drink lots of lemonade like me:D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ILAdKBicMc…
OMFG HUGO.
O
M
F
G
I was thinking about that song for some reason this morning while walking to my office and was like “MAN that would be *awesome* if I could find a reason to post it.”
My mind is completely blown to shit now.
Also: ‘matron — awww! You cute little geek boy, you! Talk to a girl! If I can talk to a boy, you can certainly talk to a girl 🙂
bahahahhahahahahahahhahahah i know who wrote this ‘bitch’ 😉
seriously “OP” im with PK on this one, it was 5 months ago, GET OVER IT. and stop ranting about it to your friends, im sure they are sick of hearing about it! im just saying 😉
Small world & great minds PK 🙂
It’s safer for a girl to approach a guy, guys usually don’t say “get away from me you loser creep”.
I was listening to a really douchy radio station the other morning (because it’s the only station I can get in my room), and they were talking about how women hold the power when it comes to sex. A women could stand in the middle of the road, they said, and yell “I WANT TO GET LAID” and ten guys would appear and offer themselves up. Meanwhile if a guy did that they’d get arrested. heh.
I think there *is* some truth to that, I have to say. I know of at least five guys who would be ready and willing if I was “looking” (which I’m not, :P). And that’s just the guys who have explictly told me so. Others have implied. Many of my girlfriends have the same experiences.
And smurf: her friends must be going out of their MINDS with her ranting. I see that as MAYBE something you’d take a week to get over. I mean neither had any investment in each other — she just liked the way he looked and talked. Who knows if they would’ve hit it off on any other level. If PK with the OCD (for realz) can get over that shit in less than a month, how hard up is this chick? FIVE MONTHS on a random? *shakes head*
What’s going to happen if she approaches a guy she DOES know and he rejects her? How many YEARS is this going to take to get over?
smurf – is she cute?
oh im sure they are PK, i know *i* would be tired of listening to it….and if they’re not tired of listening to it by now, then they are a lot nicer than i am!
and hugo, i guess that depends on your idea of cute!? O_o buuuut i have bad judgement on those types of things so im keeping my pie-hole shut!
Maybe he is gay; maybe he is married; maybe he’s a chicken shit. Don’t let it stop you from putting yourself out there again. Sorry you got hurt. It was a ballsy move that shows you have character – obviously more than he has.Better luck next time.
yeah, i DO agree it was pretty ballsy and she should be proud of herself, even if it didn’t work out. i admire her for taking a chance. but like javagirl says…better luck NEXT time! 🙂
Hmm… maybe it has something to do with the fact that you are obsessive and creepy? I mean good on you for putting yourself out there but good lord woman… its been 5 months. You obviously freaked this guy out if he no longer goes into your cafe.
Fact of the matter is that you went to this poor guy’s place of work and harassed him. Think of how awkward he must feel… did you do this in front of customer or other co-worders? You probably embarrassed him.
One person’s cute gesture is another person’s stalker present. I’m sorry that it took you two months to work up the courage to talk to the man… but you went WAY over the top. That kind of sends off alarm bells for most people that the person, although lovely I’m sure, is clingy.
He is probably afraid that you are going to spit in his drink if he goes back to your cafe, or your going to corner him again. He doesn’t owe you an explanation, you don’t know him and he doesn’t know you. From his reaction to your gesture, that’s how he likes it. I’m sorry your shy, but that doesn’t mean he has to let you down in an extra special gentle way…
Likely he is out of your league. No respectable businessman would date someone who serves coffee.
now now be nice sebastian! she is obviously an intelligent young lady (i know this for a fact, as i *sort of* stated earlier) … and it’s not her career, just a measly job for now, im sure! so lay off. THAT being said, she should be intelligent enough to know when to stop wasting her time on a guy who is not willing to waste an ounce of time on her!
ps. im pretty sure his job is putting your fruits and vegetables (hint hint) that you purchase, on shelves! so yeah, “businessman” indeed 😛
OK, im seriously done with this ‘bitch’ now!
pps. not *sort of* stated earlier … i straight up, did state it!
meow, you don’t know me, or i you? if i was to say that to you, what would you say to me, nothing nice, bet on that. alleyways of spg, don’t think so. my alleys are always cleaner and well peopled. by a higher class tan the underclass of halifucs. meow, that was sad of you.
Its the english, we make em swoon then leave them for a rival, we all learnt this in school.
maybe he’s gay and hasn’t told his co workers yet, maybe confused, don’t get all bent out of shape, I never did understand the whole accent thing anyway, my wife tried to explain it but I still don’t get it
Really? you should go to england and speak with your canadian accents, you’ll be more popular than a donair on a saturday night with the ladies/men
Oh, I love hints Smurf! I actually think I know where this is! If its the place I’m thinking of, the OP might have actually gotten the guy in trouble. I think I worked for the establishment the guy works for, and they are super finicky about certain things, including drinks in non-company mugs. So it seems that the O.P. not only embarrassed the guy at work, she also potentially got him in trouble… Is this sounding vaguely like an episode of Glee where the Warblers visited the Gap or is it just me?
OP sounds like a needy, clingy psycho hosebeast.
Jesus, he’s either gay(he won’t want you Seb, he has standards) or he was creeped out by someone “looking out” for him for half a year.
And WY THE FUCK is this in the Bitch section?
What’s sad are your gibberish comments, LS. Telling OP that she’s going to get AIDS because she flirted with a coffee shop customer? It’s not even funny, unless you’re some 12 year old jerk kid or have the mentality of one. It’s just totally stupid and vaguely offensive, and contributes nothing worthwhile to the conversation, which is typical of nearly all your comments. Besides that, I don’t think we’ve ever exchanged niceties, and I don’t plan on starting now.
maybe this guy saw how pathetic and desperate you were and avoided your coffee shop because he either thought you were crazy or a stocker! Women of halifax,it’s not always about you…maybe you left NO
imprint on this man,you don’t exist to him,so get over it and grow up!!!!
no worries.. this is he in his spare time.
do you really want to be associated with that?
http://www.profoundt.com/storage/idiot__oP…