Understand Merge…Psycho in the Silver Protege?

Hey Old White Haired Loser on the MacD bridge yesterday headed to Halifax at around 5:30pm…learn to merge and chill the fuck out before you get yourself killed (from stress or someone that is going to loose it on you for your behavior).

The bridge is one lane and all the toll lanes merge into that lane….here’s a tip, if you are still behind the car you were behind when you passed through the toll…you are a complete and utter moron and an asshole to boot, this goes hand in hand with your piss poor diving skills.

I have to say that yesterday…you really made a complete ass of yourself (did you notice that after then looks of shock and dismay…everyone was laughing at you?), though I am sure you don’t have the slightest idea. You refused to merge and nearly rammed the person in front of you trying to block anyone from merging properly (quite unsuccessfully I might add…) and screaming profanity at the top of your lungs (in front of a car load of young children…way to go!).

My passive\aggressive refusal to permit you from keeping “your spot” in line was deftly performed and I garnered no small amount of joy and humor as I forced you to yield by slowly “cutting you off” and leaving you little choice but to accept the inevitable result…you were going to be 10 feet less ahead in line than you wanted to be!

We have the same car (Protege, mine black and yours silver) but our attitudes and personalities couldn’t be more different…though you know…I used to be a lot like you and you are sadly a great deal older than I and may not have the chance to change your ways before another inevitable result occurs… stress heart attack or some form of horrendous and violent road rage incident ends your sad, wasted and pathetic time here on this planet…life is short, wake up and realize that you get what you give…next time you may come across someone that I USED to be like and it’s not going to go very well for you, at least I only cut you off and made you do what was expected of you.

—Laughing at the sad old man

This article appears in Apr 23-29, 2009.