We’ve been together for seven months and your eagerness to go downtown evaporated within the first two to three weeks. I am clean and everything like that, I just don’t understand what the problem is. I have no issues with licking your snatch and you seem to really enjoy it —so suck my fucking dick already! And not that five minute job where you just bob your head up and down, either. Use your tongue and put my balls in your mouth as well, maybe stroke the stem with one hand whilst you play with my balls. Seriously, you are 34 years old you should know how to suck a dick and please your man by now. —Blue
This article appears in Jan 8-14, 2015.
You’re still hoping she’ll get interested in your dick 25 months later? Ain’t gonna happen.
Whatever she has and whatever she does, there are hundreds if not thousands of other women who have what she has and will do what she does, including blowjobs; good ones too. And they will enjoy doing it. DTMFA already.
So glad I’m gay! You never have to ask for head…
BOOOOOOOO!!! BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! This is just a rip off of the bitch from last week (or two weeks ago, i dunno or care) where the guy didn’t know how to lick a clit. Go eat a big bag of dicks you unorigonal fuck. You idiot, you couldn’t even wait three months to let the memory go away? Did ya think you were gonna “get back” at the women for saying something about bad clit eatting? I mean come on you didn’t even try to make something up, it’s like a mirror image of the other one with the same story of ” Wha?!?! you don’t know what’s up?!? well you’re old enough to… GEEZE!”
BUT WHY?!!? Why do you have to make up something like this to get attention you won’t get credit for? Trying to impress a buddy at work?! I DON’T GET IT!!!
Blueballz: I bet your eagerness to take your woman out on romantic dates ended after the first two to three weeks as well. That’s what happens after the honeymoon period, when you stop trying and start to show your ass. You start showing up to her crib empty-handed, no wine or flowers. The fancy dinners out stop. Hell, 7 months… you’ve probably moved in by now. Made a nuisance of yourself and stopped putting effort in. Playing video games all night, farting in her sheets, permeating the bathroom in the morning with your funk, leaving your mess around –stinkin’ drawers and socks on the floor.
You say you “have no issues licking her snatch”… that doesn’t sound very appealing. Snatch. Sounds more like it’s more of a chore to you, like you just putting in time to get yours. I doubt she is enjoying the 5 minute feathery tongue flick on her left labia as much as you think she is. Take your own advice and Try a little harder. This bitch proves you have trivialized and boiled down your relationship to “snatch licking” and “dick sucking”. Is she your woman or merely an orifice to you with the ability to suck. Might I suggest you go buy a vacuum cleaner with a hose attachment, stick your “stem” in and have at er… suck away!
Nobody wants to juggle your nuts in their mouth. You are confusing porno with real life. Haven’t you ever seen a nutsack? It’s disgusting! Might I suggest placing your balls in a warm bowl of custard for the same desired result.
WTF is with “stem”… like the stem of a flower? It’s called a shaft.
You are “clean and everything like that”. Yah right – Wash your smelly ass and balls!
Jerry: He went back? What do you mean he went back?
Elaine: He went back.
Jerry: I don’t understand it. You were having such a great time, the sex, the shopping.
Elaine: Well here’s the thing. Being a woman, I only really have access to the, uh… equipment, what, thirty, forty-five minutes a week. And that’s on a good week. How can I be expected to have the same expertise as people who *own* this equipment, and have access to it twenty-four hours a day, their entire lives.
Jerry: You can’t. That’s why they lose very few players.
Elaine: Yeah, I guess I never really stood a chance.
Jerry: Well there’s always a place for you, on our team.
DOWNTOWN FELLATIO
“We’ve been together for seven months and your eagerness to go downtown evaporated within the first two or three weeks.” Blue
Clearly her problem relates to performing fellatio while on the crowded downtown streets. In addition to continual episodes of self-consciousness, there are also those injuries caused by pedestrians tripping over her.
A pleasure as always,
Cheerio!
so break up already.
What a charming gentleman the OB must be! Ladies, eat your hearts out! I’m sure you are all just waiting this one out to snap him up.
Perhaps she doesn’t like the taste of your squirt and having her tonsils battered like a punching bag, mate.
OB, you need to get your man to enroll in the Hing Frogg school for proper technique of performing fellatio.
oops, lady.
I hate when couples stop going out and going downtown. It’s like you spend all this time going downtown to bars and pubs and getting your party on – then you shack up with someone there and you never go downtown again. I mean yes, it’s dirty, smelly and cull of all sorts of weird things but c’mon – it’s downtown! Fun stuff happens there! Lots of great things come from or are born from downtown. Music, creative arts, hobo’s, street performers! All of it is downtown. The eating there is great too! Being a harbour side city, the fish is to die for. Stop being a prude, and get downtown!
P.S. Guys do it much, much better.
We do! We most certainly do! Now ladies, stop disliking that comment. Aside from doing nothing, it makes you look petty.
And OB is more than welcome!
subtle mate… real subtle.
Sounds like she’s not one for knob-gobbling and only did it before to rope you into something.
OB, call Glen Canning. He’s always looking for some type of attention.
“Nobody wants to juggle your nuts in their mouth. You are confusing porno with real life. Haven’t you ever seen a nutsack? It’s disgusting!”
^^^
Exactly! I’ll willingly suck a (clean) dick, but I’m not putting a guy’s sweaty testicles in my mouth. I will cuff em in the palm of my hand (only if they’re shaved) while I perform fellatio but I am NOT putting my lips on them. Men don’t usually devour our labia majora or the skin covering the pubic bone, so why would we want to put their oversized spider egg sacks in our mouthes?? Ummm… *barf*
And (if this is a real bitch) OP, have you heard of smegma? You probably have a ton of it and smell like 5 year old goat cheese laying in a gym bag! Ew maybe that’s why she doesn’t go down…
OB – Do you like older women? I can hook you up with my ex-wife.
If a “nutsack” is disgusting, what are piss-flaps?
I dunno, Mizz. I have had several gf’s who were all about that. It was a point of pride for em, even. And it ruled. Also, some men do put the whole enchilada in their mouth. Stop dating suckas.
“Spider egg sacks”. Thanks for that, adding it to my lingo.
You know the difference between a new job and a new girlfriend? After 3 months, the new job still sucks… 🙂