Not really a bitch…I’m just baffled. Why is it that folks who fire down a lane of traffic at 60 kmh in a 50 zone with feet to spare on either side suddenly slow down to 30 or 35 when they encounter traffic cones carefully strung out on the painted lines? Are the cones powerful magnets? Do they have little rocket motors and proximity sensors so they will fire at the side of your car if you come too close? Did your vehicle suddenly expand by 5 feet in width?
I can only assume that these are the same people who when passing a parked car on their side, when in reality they have plenty of room, must cross over into the oncoming lane so as to avoid the stationary vehicle by about 6 feet…until they notice me passing the parked car on *my* side and staying rock solid in my lane, and not slowing down one fucking bit. They’re in no danger – they’ve got plenty of room on their side, which they discover about 500 milliseconds later.
—I can hit a spittoon accurately too…
This article appears in Jul 9-15, 2009.
Its the same people who duck when walking out of a building into rain.
because these cones usually indicated some sort of construction work and an increases likelihood of encountering people on the road. At least that would be my assumption if i saw road cones. Anyone esle?
NGF – as for ducking from the rain, I think that is a reaction to the cold rain. I don’t really see people duck, they just sort of raise their shoulders up around their ear and make some sort of sqinty face like they are trying to read something that is just a little too far away. You see the same thing when people jump into cold water. People kill me.
A personal favourite of mine is pressing an already illuminated elevator call buton that someone who got there first has CLEARLY already pressed.
Why do people turn down their radio when trying to find and address..
This bitch is so funny but so true, sometimes you just have to wonder
Earthlings are so stupid!!!
I do not go 60 in a 50 zone, and yes i do slow down for construction. Maybe I am over cautious, but on the other hand, I do slam on my brakes when some fucktard is two inches from my back bumper in an ass-attempt to make me go faster. Hit me fucker, I dare you.
Wow, doesn’t take much to baffle some people. Dropped on your head a few too many times? To add to lovinglife’s post, pylons aren’t just place on a road that is working as usual. So you don’t drive as usual. Did you know if you see a long line of pylons it can signify a work zone? Are you aware of the fines for speeding in a work zone? If not take you regular speeding fine and double it.
Lovinglife – those couple of stories you noted cracked me up. It’s like watching humans behave as monkeys or lab rats…some people were raised that way at least. Instantly brings to mind the Holden Caulfield perspective. (“people kill me”)
Also – I’m presuming that these little ”instincts” are just vestiges of our primal ancestors’ habits…well, if you believe in that stuff.
Balls: you don’t seriously think that all those people are slowing down for construction, do you? *I* was dropped on my head too many times? You must believe people slow down in school zones too.
Hell, you’ll see them do this when there’s 500 metres worth of cones and no actual construction in sight, and no signs whatsoever indicating a lowered speed limit.
With respect to the elevator button thing, I see people do this with the crosswalk buttons. In fact on the way to or from work I see some of the same people do this all the time. In some cases you can tell that they saw someone before them press the button, they had 5 seconds to process the information, and still had to press it themselves. Maybe they belong to that group of optimists who believe that the more you press the button the faster the light will turn green.
You think that’s bad? Go to Cape Breton and drive the highway between Sydney Mines and Sydney. When the highway is divided, people go 100 or above. But, as soon as the highway become single lanes people slow down to 80. Now that’s frustrating!
Traffic cones means there’s a hazard or a construction zone. They’re there to protect you from crashing or killing someone on the job site you moron, ever notice how it usually says Traffic Fines Are Double In Construction Zones? I’ve worked on construction sites where idiots are driving around all pissed off like we’re inconveniencing them by fixing aka solving a problem with a section of road. The same people who bitch about construction sites are the same people who bitch about potholes. Pay attention next time.
Why do people turn down their radio when trying to find and address..
-> tot hink harder?
I love the second part of the bitch about crossing over into the opposite lane to get around a parked car though. Priceless. People do the same thing when passing a bicyclist or a pedestrian where there’s no sidewalk.
My personal favourite is the asshats that think they’re ENTITLED to go around stopped buses, garbage trucks, and other larger vehicles that are pulled over to the side of the road. Just wait the 10 seconds that bus is going to be stopped instead of blindly swerving around it into oncoming traffic. Half the time there’s a red light there anyway – what’s your fucking hurry!?
Why is there an expiry date on Sour Cream? Will it get “more sour”? Why are the store hours posted on the door to a 7-11? Why did Kamikazee pilots weear helmets? These are all burning questions….
“Why is there an expiry date on Sour Cream? Will it get “more sour”? Why are the store hours posted on the door to a 7-11? Why did Kamikazee pilots weear helmets? These are all burning questions….”
1)Sour cream can go bad. When this happens, it will usually curdle or grow mold. I wouldn’t recommend eating it.
2 & 3) Who gives a fuck?
hali has no sense of humour.
* In a bad Jerry Seinfeld Impersonation voice*
“….Whats the deal with Hali……? I mean have ya seen Hali?”
Man, talk about Capitan Buzz kill other there!
I guess hali never saw the skits “The Confused Philosopher” on “The Royal canadian Air Farce”
If it’s the Captain’s Mess, why does somebody else have to clean it up?
Quite a few of them on Bedford Highway with no workers to be seen. Mind you there were workers, and now they’re gone. Cones I command you to be gone!
I’m not going to argue with a fool.
People slow down while driving through a construction zone for the same reason that people speed up on highways – road widths and visibility distances (among other factors) subconsciously regulate driving speed. As neatly lined up as those cones may be, they still reduce the effective width of the road and make it less comfortable to maintain normal speed – that’s the point.
The fact that it is a CONSTRUCTION ZONE, things are UNDER CONSTRUCTION and CONSTRUCTION WORKERS are generally in the vicinity are also good reasons.
why do women open their mouth when putting on eyeliner?
are you expecting to look surprised quite a bit that day?
Not to mention every time there is a power outages (which is frequent in these parts) I ALWAYS find myself flicking light switches, especially in the bathroom where there are no windows.
About parked cars, people may go around them in case someone who isn’t watching happens to open their car door. Just putting a thought out there.