I always think I like donairs until the day after. Sure they are tasty but, like, I would really love to know what the fuck is in this meat. Don’t you dare say it is just beef and spices. Beef and spices have never turned my butthole into a hot atomic weapon before. An hour after eating this shit you are burping up rancid stank and then look out the gutrot sets in. The next day, you will give birth to a Buick in the toilet and have beef sweats for days after. WTF is in the mystery meat? -Skidmarxist
This article appears in Mar 27 – Apr 2, 2014.
“Sure they are tasty but, like, I would really love to know what the fuck is in this meat.”
No you don’t.
Embrace the screaming thunder-rump and pat yourself on the back for your full bodied support for multi-culturalism.
You be dropp’n bombs like batons. Only da strong survive. And by strong, I don’t mean strong-smellin’.. you must develop a cast-iron stomach.
When you can burp up donair flavour a couple hours later…you know it was good. The smoking butt cannon the next day tells you it was really good.
About a year ago, I ordered a donair with sauce on the side – when I got the mystery meat home to chomp, I discovered they forgot the sauce. I shrugged, said what the hey and started to eat it. I cannot describe the horror of my taste buds as I tried to consume this salty, wretched mass of meat. I tossed more than half of it away. The sauce covers up lots, let’s just say. I have not touched a goddamn donair since.
Two rules about donairs.
1. You don’t question the donair meat.
&
2. You don’t question the donair meat.
Rule #3 – Don’t eat them sober.
It’s horse. There. You now know the secret. Horse.
Is it not obvious?
Donair meat to beef is the equivalent of ‘sausage’ to pork.
There’s allowed amounts of sinew, cartilage, and connective tissue… in some cases up to 30%. It’s cheapest cuts of beef you can find to grind, that’s why it needs that heavy seasoning to make it tasty.
Did you expect your system to just process that shit like business as usual?
How often do you eat cartilage and sinew?
So, what’s wrong with horse meat? It’s pretty good. And you have more of a chance to get beef in donair meat than you do in a fast food burger.
Well, I’ve never knowingly consumed horse meat, but I would. Now “horse” cock… that’s a whole other story…
Please refer to common gay vernacular before ya’ll get all caught up in a tizzy about horse cock…
Horse !
REALLY ! !
(damn now you done it, my mouths watering….might as well go out & heat up the Bar-B, I need some half cooked red meat now )
If you don’t know what’s in it, don’t eat it. Wise words to live by.
I think you’re eating them wrong.
The sauce is laced with garlic powder. Add that much garlic powder to spagetti and you’ll smell just as bad for a day or two.
more-on! so your mouth is watering about ‘horse cock’. well well well. come out! come out!
Half a teaspoon of garlic powder?
GIVING BIRTH TO A BUICK
“The next day, you will give birth to a Buick in the toilet and have beef sweats for days after.” Skidmarxist
Was anyone in the driver’s seat? Were there passengers aboard? Were they heading out for a picnic? A picnic in the toilet? Were water sports on the agenda?
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
Never seen any Horsecock at the butchers shop out here GDM …must be a city thing you go for.
But Prime Rib, oh yeah (& it was good too)
Hell if Prime Rib of horse steaks were available I’d try that as we’ll.
IF Soylent Green of Good Dog Molly, a Prime Rib piece was available I’d give it a try as well. Crank up the Bar-B & get the onion sauce ~:D
http://historicaltimes.tumblr.com/post/552…
for ivan.
more-on, if they ever makes steaks out of my ass you had better invite the neighbourhood.
I’m pretty sure horse would be terrible.
Incredibly lean and with the amount those muscles are worked, I can see it being horrendously chewy and tough.
Just stick to making glue out of them.
GDM: The paisans at Italeri immortalized the Spirtfire “beer truck” in 1/48 scale a couple of years back.
http://www.hobbyandleisure.co.uk/hlstore/c…
Zedster: – That’s where a good marinade and strategic braising come into play.