My office has one washroom. It’s one of those single stalled jobs, which can be pretty nice when nature calls and you have to drop trow and pinch an afternoon loaf. It’s also nice not to have to make stupid chit chat with the lady in accounting while i’m mid-stream. I’m a huge fan of our lovely private washroom.
My problem, however, is with those who seem to leave a trail of disgust behind them after each trip to the pot. I’m constantly finding random pubes and drops of urine on the seat, and quite often the inside of the toilet bowl is left looking like a 4 year old went apeshit with the brown crayola. We’re all adults here people, but for the love of god, can you please clean up after yourselves?? It’s just plain rude to leave behind these little reminders of what last transpired in there.
The next person to leave thier splattered bum-coffee in the toilet will be punted across the Burnside business park. There’s a toilet brush in the cupboard. Use it.
—Your friendly co-shitter.
This article appears in May 28 – Jun 3, 2009.
“your friendly co-shitter”… all I have to say is perfect!
“splattered bum-coffee” LOL! I’m so using that from now on.
I’ve found some real beauts floating belly up in the bowl – you could do a fairly decent log roll with some of them. I’d love to meet the Beluga who rolled those logs in their colon.
hahahahahahah you just MADE my day! Bum coffee!!! I’m weak!
Here at my work we have a total of 5 employee washrooms. One in the shop/warehouse, two downstairs and two upstairs. One particular employee here has the complete lack of ability to piss IN the toilet and manages to get piss everywhere. The two upstairs washrooms are right next to my office and I got sick and tired of going in to a nasty bathroom. So with my bosses permission, I posted a sign in all the washrooms that says “These are shared employee washrooms. Please be respectful of your co-workers and clean up after yourselves”. Since then, there’s been no piss on the floor/seat/edge of the bowl and no “splattered bum-coffee” left behind either. People tend to be a little more careful when they know someone has taken notice of their mess.
I’ve been noticing lately that washroom bitchers are peppered with pube-complaints. Yet something about these statements fail to convince me that this is actually occuring. Do people really feel the urge to shave in the middle of work, or are they preparing for a sexcapade with a co-worker in the broom closet? Either way I agree, that’s fucked. Start collecting a few of them in a plastic bag and staple it to the staff room wall with a note: ”You lost these”
I like when people sit on the toilet, pick their nose, and wipe it on the stall walls. It makes for ever so much of a better view from the throne.
Pubes, like a lot of hair on your body, naturally falls out. When this happenes, one would hope they find a way to get rid of it that doesn’t involve another person finding it.
Nothing more painful than stubble on a clean clam.
Usually when I encounter a stray pube I just try to blow it into the toilet. If it doesn’t move I know I’m in for some trouble.
DEAR GOD! I don’t know how the hell I found this but LAUGH!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG. You are all too funny! I LOVE THIS SITE! I will be telling all my friends about this!
If your ‘friends’ are either abrasive or irritating to the point of suicide, GMM, I will slay you.
Gross……I’d rather hold it in and wait till I got home.
GMM: Welcome to the site! Don’t mind Dino Jr. She’s one of those kids that doesn’t like to share her toys.
It’s especially annoying when people don’t flush. No one else wants to flush it so the stall doesn’t get used all day until some poor unsuspecting fuck walks in to a hefty bowl of bloated turds marinating in a mixture of stale piss and lumpy waterlogged toilet paper.
I still have nightmares.
Every time I use a public toilet…I get two bunches of paper towel…I wet one of them and clean the seat, then dry it with the other.
Call me crazy…but I call anyone willing to sit down on a public toilet seat before a thorough wipe down, plain crazy.
It’s all about hoovering in public washrooms. The only thing worse than finding someone’s zainy little pubes left on the seat is actually making contact with it.
My suggestion: it’s a bit wasteful, but I flush once for the bulk and twice for the remainder. That usually gets rid of any nasty bits clinging to the bowl afterward.
DER— you are nuts. That may clean surface dirt, but nothing else.
I’m squatting. Got lot’s of practice using Asian toilets and I’m taking that practice over into the western toilet world.
Quite apart from the cleanliness aspect, what I’ve got a problem with is those folks who *schedule* their solid waste disposal for working hours. I’ll bet everyone of us has known at least one person who regular as clockwork, most business days, is to be found occupying a stall at such-and-such an hour, settled in with a newspaper and a coffee.
One place I worked there was a dude from a neighbouring office who did this. Without fail, every morning when he arrived for work, the first thing he would do after dropping off his briefcase and lunch in his office was, plant himself on what appears to have been his real workstation, with financial magazine (I used to leaf through the ones he left behind, on my own occasional visits) and coffee. And after many months it became obvious that these were leisurely stays on his part.
This can be a problem when you’ve got only one or two stalls, and some ass-clocker schedules his movements for just when a lot of people are showing up to work in the first place, and the only place you can pee is also in a stall.
Seems to me that if someone has such iron control over when they unload their bowels that maybe, just maybe, they could get that job done before they leave the house or apartment.