I called you creepy because you and your buddy thought it would be funny to approach me in an obnoxious manner while I was walking home alone at 2am. There was no need for you to go on for 5 minutes when I got stuck in the elevator with you about how ugly I was. First of all, someone’s attractiveness has nothing to do with whether they carry a blue clutch while wearing a white coat. We can’t all afford purses that match everything we wear. Second, it seems to me you’ve been wacked a couple of time with the ugly stick yourself!
—One Angry lady.
This article appears in Mar 5-11, 2009.
MAN I have sympathy, that must’ve been creepy as hell. Jerks with small penises I suspect….wait, DRUNK jerks with small penises.
Fuckin’ knuckle draggers. Thumbtack penises at that.
What a fucking loser. Definitley short on manhood.
If you must walk home alone at that hour, I’m not saying you shouldn’t because I would myself, you might seriously consider getting one of those pepper spray on a key chain thingies. Saved my night, if not my life once way back when…
So you’re going to pepper spray an ignormanous for being crude? Now I know why they won’t let people carry the stuff.
Pepper spray would be a bit extreme, no? If he was drunk, a swift kick in the nuts will do it, or flag a cop down. That;ll put him in the place he needs to be; the drunk tank. The letting it ruin your night thing, that’s kinda your fault lady. Don’t let it ruin your night.
They don’t let people carry pepper spray? That’s new to me. Doesn’t sound like BSB did it because someone was being crude, Tim.
Grown men have been mugged and beaten in the downtown core. There’s a lot of losers in this town. I’d seriously suggest what BSB suggested, as your night could have ended a lot worst.
Despite Halifax being known as a friendly small city, it’s also one of Canada’s most dangerous.
2 men getting into an elevator and harassing a woman who is alone at 2am is not ok. Anything could happen, she doesn’t know what they’re capable of or after, and I wouldn’t blame anyone for defending themselves in such a situation…
That’s more than being an, “ignormanous”, I’d say there Bro. In a situation like that Fever, I think a swift kick in the nuts just might get my ass kicked, or worse… Some people suck big time, and maybe should have it pointed out to them in such a way they can’t ignore it. Pepper spray is not lethal, the effects usually wear off in a day or 2…
That’s if it’s not inhaled… the chemical will burn your lungs. That’s why it’s not for general sale. I’m not condoning the actions of the douchebags, I’m just saying there are better ways than pepper spray. Besides, there’s no guarantee it’ll incapacitate them. It’s not Mace/tear gas. Believe me, the girl was better off walking into a highly trafficked area, and flagging a cop down. If not that, call 911. They’re the professionals, and it’s the right thing to do. They’ve really upped the presence along SPR and Barrington, and they’re really aggressive about approaching people that look more than a little drunk. A swift kick in the nuts is far more incapacitating than a shot of pepper spray. Finally, what the hell was she doing walking home alone at 2 am? Come on, that’s just bloody stupid.
Yup, call 911 and get reamed out for being hysterical, if you even have a cell. Then what, charge the assholes with doing…What? Nothing, until they actually do something. Men are ALLOWED to harass us. As a male, the law is on your side, (yes, even in this day and age, sorry boys), so I understand why you might think she’s stupid, but maybe she works ’til then, car broke down, lost the bus pass, (or neglected to sign it.lol), had to escape from a bad date, or you don’t even know what. Not everyone is privileged enough to stick to the well lit areas, and some of us just like walking in the city late at night. So fucking sue me for being willing to defend myself from some waste of oxygen and skin fuck head… Let him sue too, fwiw…
Basically, it seems to me what you’re saying is, that us girls should just stick to the well lit areas and not be outside walking home at 2am, or we’re just getting what we deserve for being stupid? If I want to walk alone in the middle of the night, I should be able to. Personally, if I was going to do such a thing, I’d be dressed in heavy jeans and leather jacket or something bulky that could possibly be concealing a weapon, or not necessarily even look like I’m female. BUT, if I wanted/needed to do that in a skirt and heels, who the fuck is anyone to tell me otherwise? If someone is out there threatening to or actually hurting ANYONE alone on the street at night, then they deserve MUCH more than red eyes and burned lungs, hypothetically speaking of course, if that’s all they get from me, they got off easy. How does a little pepper spray, and then a nice kick in the balls sound? Then I might call the cops, maybe not. Why waste the tax dollars? Sorry if I sound bitter, but I am.
Letting loose with the pepper in an elevator is sooooooo not a good idea for more than a few reasons.
For one, it’d be kinda like saving yourself with a hand grenade (while in an elevator).
You say that you have a right to walk the streets at night and indeed you do. However, in this day in age, what part of that sounds smart? Honestly. Think about that. A lone female walking around in the dead of night on a lonely street. I’m fucking guy and I wouldn’t in my right mind do something like that, regardless if it’s my right or not, it’s plain fucking stupid. It’s called being street smart. You DO have the law on your side, despite what you may feel (methinks that you had a bad experience) and for something of nature, especially after all the hubbub over the increase in violent crimes in this city, they’re gonna arrest them for criminal harassment at the very least. Sure, they may not get jail time, but they’ll end up in the drunk tank and off your back. Don’t have a cell phone? Scream. That brings me back to the well-lit and frequented areas. Somebody’s gonna hear it and do something, god knows I would. As far as your little scenario with pepper spray, you do have right to protect yourself, however, there’s a limit to that. If you’re getting away, that’s fine, but if you take it further, you should be charged with assault.
The situation didn’t sound like one in which pepper spray was warranted…at least, not to be used. Perhaps to be held within a pocket ready to be deployed at a moment’s notice. As BSB said, being rude in broad daylight is one thing, being rude to a lone woman late at night in a two-on-one situation, (or even 1-1) anything could happen.
What a shitty experience, OP. It can be really frustrating to be street harrassed, it can often make you feel very powerless. But if you’re in a public place, shaming can do wonders. A few months ago I was at a show and some random guy kept touching my ass. After I determined that it was definitely intentional, I turned around and asked him loudly if he knew me and if not then what the fuck was he doing touching my ass. He backed off pretty quick. I’m usually a fairly low key person so it felt good 😛
Use the pepper spray, expect to be charged. It is a restricted weapon. Even using bear spray (which is legal to carry) will get you charged.
And of course I’ve never heard of women ever harassing anybody.
Instead of being stuck in an elevator for 5 minutes with him, why didn’t you just get off on the 2nd floor and wait for another elevator instead? I think that would have been your best option at the time since you didn’t have mace/pepper spray.
Yup, tiny penis man probably sums it up. I was involved with a guy once who was a HUGE jerk because he felt he had to make up for the fact that his dick wasn’t only pencil thin, but about an inch short of two.
I did not say she should have sprayed them, I’m saying she should have had it with her. Some guys are just stupid drunks, and others are actually dangerous. Most guys do not take this into consideration when they decide to bother a lone girl at night, and they really should. If they all knew just how scary that can be to some women, perhaps they would think twice and make a point of not doing it.
Why should a woman, or anyone else, be expected to automatically adjust their own behavior to make room for the psychos and rapists? I should hide in the well lit areas? Shit happens there too. What then?
Street smart is not skulking about like some little pussy, YOU scream when you need help there Fever, yes somebody will hear it, and probably pretend that they didn’t for their conscience sake.
If and when I’m going to be walking alone at night, first of all, I make an effort to look like I have nothing to steal… easy for me… then I take measures to protect myself. I am responsible for my own safety, this shouldn’t affect you unless you are the person bothering me.
The police don’t usually get there in time, btw, AND no, I had a fairly ok experience the one time I was ever actually physically attacked, I pepper sprayed this guy who tried to assault me when I was on my way to the skytrain in Van… I had no choice but to walk a few dark blocks from my night class to a downtown station, had I no protection that night, I might be dead or likely seriously traumatized to this day.
Still tho, I think that most people are good, and problems like this would be few and far between if a few more late night harassers got dealt with swiftly on the spot, fuck charging anyone. I don’t own any pepper spray or even live in the city these days, but when I’m there, I walk most places I go especially at night… And woe betide the miscreant that messes with me and my girls on the street in the dark of night… Seriously.
People always appreciate when self-righteous wags tells them the violation they experienced was their own fault. It’s really beneficial in learning to protect themselves in the future, and in healing and recovering from the assault.
They just need to be reminded that they were stupid. Like the woman who was raped in the grocery store parking lot. Grocery shopping alone? And with a vagina? Duh!
Uh, up with people…?!?
You know what happens when you talk to strangers in this town? Your motive doesn’t matter. You’re treated like an asshole anyway. Hey, grown men get rolled in this town on a regular basis so some even go so far as to having new bylaws created to “protect” us from all the oh-so-scary people not in our immediate social circles. It’s pathetic. Everybody is so quick to become offended. It’s doesn’t matter what your motive is.
So OP, since you survived this “ordeal” and nobody got hurt you, are you sure you’re not just mad because strangers talked to you? Is it because you didn’t like what they had to say? (hardly harassment.) Since you emerged unharmed are you sure they really gave you reason to fear them or is that your default response when a stranger approaches? You wouldn’t be alone.
Everywhere you look there are mean spirited people in this town but you have the law on your side. Why not hold your head a little higher and refuse to become intimidated? Oh, that’s someone else’s job, I suppose… to stand up for you, that is.
That said, women shouldn’t walk alone at night. There’s no place on the planet where this isn’t a good idea.
Why are people invariably so quick to say “women shouldn’t walk alone at night” and not “men shouldn’t rape women?” Gee, it’s almost as if they think that one action is controllable while the other isn’t.
Yeah, I take defensive actions to protect myself – I never walk through the Commons at night, for instance – but when I weigh the cost of taking taxis everywhere or just staying home, VS the extremely low risk of being dragged into an alleyway and raped, well duh I’m gonna go out and have me a good time. The vast majority of sexual assaults are committed by people who already know each other to some degree, not the drooling psycho in the bushes.
You actually went out with a blue handbag while wearing a white coat >gasp< the horror !
Actually your lucky dippy the foul mouth drunk didn’t hurt you, words are like water on a ducks back, fists & feet cause a little more damage
fuck the pepper spray you should carry a mac-10 and rake those motherfuckers next time they try that.
Okay, so the angry lady didn’t say anything about pepper spray or rapists… so why are people ripping on her for being too sensitive?
If two guys started shit with me while I was alone at 2am, I’d think it was creepy too, and I’m a guy.
Okay just to clarify a couple of things. I only walked 3 blocks alone and walked the rest of the way with others. Also I didn’t feel the need for Pepper Spray nor did I feel like I was going to be raped. Although I suppose I may be a bit more cautious after hearing the words of warning from some of you (still no pepper spray though.
Also in agreement with the first couple of comments, yes I imagine he had an immeasurably small penis.
ah,was going to note something until I read the last comment…. that nowhere in the original post did it say they were guys. Once again I forgot about the title, of course… but if he was commenting on your purse/jacket combination, I was a little more than confused so I ended up not assuming it was two guys the entire time I as reading.
having said that, i can’t help but think this wouldn’t have been a better scenario in any way if it were two women heckling you. Based on the whole leg-table beating, confining and cigarette burning, and IWK shooting crazy ass chica’s, I’d be just as apprehensious were it two loony women (assuming I were you, I suppose).
These comments are a prime example of how people jump on one side or another of an “apparent argument”. In these arguments, there is no room for one person to have a good point over the other. One side is absolutely right, one side is absolutely wrong. God I hate reading stuff like this at times.
The OP didnt say that she thought she was going to be raped. BSB didnt say she was going to be raped. But, the possibility was definitley there. If the possibility is there, then yes, you should be prepared for it. I mean really, who will hear you scream in an elevator? Or an empty street when everyones snug in bed or in front of the tv?
Personally, there have been times when an ex and I were having a very loud, slightly physical, fight, on an empty street. We should have been overheard, and yes, the cops should have been called. I was far from safe, it would have been evident to any passerby that the situation was not okay – and yet…? Yeah. No friendly neighbourhood cop came to my rescue.
Its not always enough to be in a “safe” environment. Sometimes situations will arise that you have little, or no control, over. So yes, be prepared for it! That whole adage, better safe than sorry, is said for a reason.
I dont believe that any of the “pro pepper sprayers” on here are saying in this particular situation she should have assaulted the men. I think the point theyre trying to make is that say these men HAD decided to assault her in the elevator, what could she have done?
Screamed. Yes, she probably could have. But would that have stopped anything? In this situation? No. I highly doubt it.
Maybe if you guys would stop jumping all over one another you would see that theres some good opinion in each side of the argument. The whole happy median idea.
Jesus Christ, I hate to think what would have been said if this poor girl actually had been assaulted.
And finally, I dont normally make my posts personal – so please dont rip me apart for having an abusive ex (yes, to side A, I should have had pepper spray. yes, to side B, it was my fault I should have been in a well lit area). And I cant lie, I havent proof read this – so my apologies for any typos.
Yeah really, lay off her, I suspect it was fucking scary as HELL to have that happen. Although a swift kick in the batteries would end all harassment with a nice wimpering puddle on the floor, I have heard that a small bottle of hairspray hurts like hell when sprayed in the eyes. AND I’d make it the super hold stuff, really glue that bastards eyes shut 😀
Kelley, if you did that you’d be charged with assault.
i would just like to say that a blue clutch acutally goes fantastically with a white jacket!.. and men are pigs 🙂
Pepper spray would have done the trick, a taze might be too extreme.
ROFL @ PK’s description of her ex bf … and I agree that the white coat would beautifully offset a blue clutch of any hue.