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Why in the fuck would I wipe my bung pucker with a fluffy white kitten or, God forbid, a Labrador Retriever? Personally, I’d rather wipe my ass with Jello. Lime.
—Just Sayin’ – TTFN
This article appears in Jan 7-13, 2010.
19 Comments
I don’t know TTFN…if the fluffy white kitten was calm and not prone to claw the bejesus out my nether regions…it might be a decently soft implement to use (and reusable after a few rounds through a washing machine). The kitten at least would stay togeather unlike lime jello which would likely just squish and then you’d have a limey mess down there (pun intended).
Disclaimer: This poster does not condone putting kittens into a washing machine….that would be bad.
Yes, you might ruin the washer. Wait, maybe that’s Council’s new idea.
I wouldn’t be surprised at all Tim…our City Council regularly displays the tact and sense of a drunken monkey behind the wheel of a monster truck. They continue to use the grounds around a memorial for our fallen soldiers as a fucking parking lot, I am so pissed off about that; it makes me sick to think people that inconsiderate and ignorant are running our city.
TTFN: I’ve felt the same way about these same critter commercials, except for the lime jello alternative. Thanks for the amusing visual verbiage…my day needed a good chuckle or two:)
good one…apparently bears have trouble with bumwad stickin to their arse…maybe people are using tp for something we mere mortals are unaware of
Kittens are self-cleaning, so it’s environmentally friendly, reusable alternative.
I concur that rabbits are the best. Just not enough stray rabbits, so kitties are the next best…
I wonder if those bears would be good enough to wipe my ass?
aren’t those kittens bred locally? at least someone’s getting work.
A grizzly bear does seem more “up TTFN’s alley” than kittens or puppies.
Are you suppose to wash the kitten off after? Do you need to get it declawed “just in case”?What if you need more then two kittens?
I’d say getting them declawed would be most prudent…and it would be best to just have a whole box of them by the can.
As someone posted above…the kittens are pretty much self-cleaning.
Save the rain-forest, wipe your ass with kittens instead!
Poor kitties!
Use baby bunnies instead. They reproduce much faster and don’t make much noise.
You could try a gerbil or two but then you’d run the risk of the Richard-Gere-Urban-Myth-Syndrome.
personally,i use velvet snakes.
It’s all good until you have to plunge the toilet.
Gerbils, kittens and bears, oh my!
you mean you’re not supposed to flush them?
uh… I have to go somewhere for a sec…..
*grabs plunger*
Okay then…now I know what broke Pete’s Pooptique last year!