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Your waste basket at work is disgusting. I see banana peels that belong in the compost bin. I see grocery bags that belong in the recyclables. I even see empty pop cans that could go to charity.
I feel like dumping it on your desk every time you turn your back until you get the hint. —damn! I’m furious with you!
This article appears in Nov 14-20, 2013.
24 Comments
Doesn’t anybody ever empty it…just saying.
If you are that infuriated then pick it up, sort it, and fuck off.
Really though! ^^^ If its such a big deal, deal with it yourself. Sort it out for them! You obviously have more than enough time on your hands to type a bitch up about it! I bet they’re so busy picking up the slack created by your goofing off that they don’t have the time to do any sorting!
I bet someone alphabetizes the soup cans.
Yeah… next.
So, let’s be clear…NO amount of hand signals are going to prevent some nasty-ass cunt from cutting me off because she doesn’t like the fact I drive my bike on a road.
Now, go find someone who looks like they need your “help” or find that cunt and smash her car for me, will ya’?
Sounds like someone needs an office linebacker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8QziCDf3WA
(those were great commercials!)
Oh! Better!
“I’m a bluenoser, born and bred. My parents split when I was…”
WTF? Your parents splitting up is in your personal ad’s profile greeting?
You sound like me Meaty…my parents split when I was……
I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE
“damn! I’m furious with you” spies banana peels that belong in the compost bin. He spies grocery bags that belong in the recyclables. He even spies empty pop cans that could go to charity. But is that all? Just banana peels, grocery bags and pop cans?
Surely there must be more than this. Have you examined the waste basket more thoroughly? Have you searched it to the very bottom? Use some logic. If your workmate went to the grocery store and bought some bananas – how many? – as well as pop – how many cans? – to wash the bananas down with, doesn’t it seem likely that he was not alone, that he was with someone else?
Did they consume the bananas and pop in the office or, after returning from another place, only then put them into the waste basket? What is in that other place? Was provision made by the employer for the workers to relax in that other place? Would there be beds in that other place? What do you think they would have been doing in that other place?
But we must not jump to conclusions. You must continue spying with your little eye. Persevere. Continue spying into the waste basket with your little eye. I feel that even more startling discoveries lie ahead. I won’t say exactly what but I think that they might well throw an interesting light on your workmate’s habits. A very interesting light, and I don’t mean just what she eats. As I say, be patient. Your turn will come. By the way, does your workmate have magnificent labia?
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
MontrealMan. (11/18 3.53PM)
I’m still amazed that you can still fit in your magnificent labia to any story.LOL
Unless you’re the company trash police, it’s none of your fucking business. I know you don’t shit because you’re so anal.
Can’t stand the smell of banana….
bleck.
Thank you for reminding me how sweet retirement is. If I worked next to you right now, I’d be smoking those fucking banana peels and stubbing ’em out on your furrowed brow – you sound like a walking shriek followed by a buzzing exclamation mark. I hope the fruit flies use your twitching nostrils for a slip and slide.
Maybe it’s a good thing I retired – bawhawhawhaw!!!
Here is the thing with Type A personalities. Life is always so hard for the type A. You will get annoyed by everything that doesn’t stay in line because that is your job as deemed by your personality.
Type Bs are the ones who will get annoyed by being restricted by type As. That’s their job.
So.. by all means keep doing your job. Just be more solution-oriented instead of just mouthing off uselessly. Type As are supposed to be solution-oriented, aren’t they? The type Bs come up with all the good ideas. You folks sort out the mechanics. So get to it. Chances are your deskmate is mired in the important task of being a giant, pliable brain. It’s likely (s)he forgets about her desk. Means to clean it up but it keeps slipping the mind. YOU are the anal one. Not him/her.
It’s ok to be this person. The world needs the type As. But you really need to understand that unless you really pissed this person off, they’re not doing it to upset you. Their mind is somewhere else.
Don’t nag. It doesn’t make anyone feel good.
Frankly, coming down on somebody for not being anal-retentive is as bad as coming down on somebody for being introverted.
It sounds like she may need to manage her thinking better. But you have to understand that this does not come naturally to her. Just like picking your battles does not likely come naturally to you.
I have an idea. Go to HR and see if a mutually beneficial solution can be reached. Remember, it’s not all about her continuing to trash the place. But it’s ALSO not all about you expecting everyone around you to live up to your personal standards either.
My last 10 years of work was with a triple AAA type pencil-necked freak who thought dusting the insides and outsides of our cubicles was as much a fucking priority as the real work. All I saw was a bespectacled pulsing pustule of stress & anxiety, yet he acted as our chronically critical overlord ruling over his kingdom of four. Complaints were made, nothing was ever addressed.
The staff meetings were the worst. We’d all be sitting here, he’d pull in his chicken lips, shuffle his paper before blinking at the lot of us silently as if waiting for a light to go on. This sometimes took up to two minutes.
The last meeting, I couldn’t help myself, I just burst out laughing when he did that. My coworkers were holding back but I could see their reaction in their body language. When he asked me what was wrong, I just smiled and told him to ‘go ahead and start the meeting’. Had I not been retiring in three days, I’m sure he would have said more but that was not the case.
On my second last day before retirement, I tripped coming in the office and dropped an extra large black coffee on the new carpet. The stain is there for good. After that, I realized that my work there was truly done.
If I never see that coil of managerial feces again, I’ll be a happy old broad.
I’m not OP but why can’t people sort their waste? It’s not difficult, just needs the slighest bit of thought and a smidgeon of effort. Plus concern with anything other than one’s immediate needs but I guess that’s tad too much to ask. Just another example of how the human race is so bloody disappointing.
T.T, was this your boss?
http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=mr.+mo…
We have a policy at work to separate the trash… recycling, organics, paper etc…. then when the cleaners come to collect all the days trash… it all goes in the same bag and all out to the garbage bin for pick up….
I’ve stopped fooling myself in thinking I’m making a difference and use my desk bin for all my garbage.. organic and recycling (our paper gets shredded by a different company).
If it means that much to you, feel free to go ahead and take it home for your own personal satisfaction.
And I’ll tell you, if i ever came into work to see the contents of my bin on my desk in the morning, you’d be looking for a new minimum wage job because with all the shit that goes missing around here and the substandard ‘cleaning’ we endure, it would absolutely be the last straw.
When you hire the ‘lowest bidder’, that’s generally the service you get.
Put some stinky shit in their basket.
Fuck sorting. Polishing the brass on the Titanic and all that…
Hello Scissors,
There are no types of personalities. In fact, there are no permanent personalities at all. We just fabricate these concepts in a futile attempt to verify the self. And we have to keep doing it because the self has no permanent existence.
Reg I agree with you. Most of me is a type b but i have some distinct type a tendencies. Garbage isn’t one of them (unless it smells) but there are other equally weird things that drive me absolutely crazy. And I bitch about them too. Which is why i went a little easy on the op.