I found out the other day from a credible and trusted source of mine that the last girl I dated dumped me because of the size of my penis. We didn’t sleep together, but at a pub after we both got buzzed, we made out and she got a good feel of my hard penis (I was so turned on, I couldn’t help it) through my pants. She stayed for about 20 more minutes, then said it was getting late and left. I never heard from her again. Up until a few days ago I didn’t know what the fuck was up because we had such a good time, until my good friend who works with her (that’s how I met her) overheard her on the phone with her friend, likely, at her cubicle complaining about the size of the penis, distinctively said “What the fuck am I supposed to do with THAT??!”, laughing!! We both knew she was talking about me because it’s unfortunately true, I do have a really small penis. It’s barely 2 1/2 inches, head included, and the girth is about the same as the average big toe in circumference, when hard. Yes, thanks a lot, Dad or any other older relative of mine, for passing on the small dick gene to me, I’m veeerrryy popular with the ladies! This has happened to me before. One time a girl gave me head (I didn’t sleep with her either), she left shortly after and I never heard from her again. I’ve slept with many women in my 29 years of life, but only 1-3 times with each one. But with the amount of women I slept with, there were three times as many women I dated (but didn’t fuck) who fooled around with me and then mysteriously disappeared. Why do you women need a large penis? It’s not the size, but how you work it! I’m good in bed, I’ve made women orgasm from oral sex, I know how to fuck. But no, that’s not good enough for them! — Mr. Baby Dick
This article appears in Feb 20-26, 2014.
Ob, you need to stop dating shallow minded women with deep pussies.
Additionally, you to stop talking like this is a disability. A disability prevents you from doing something. A small dick doesn’t prevent you from having a satisfying sex life with a woman who loves you.
Bahahaha glad I ain’t got this problem!
Dude, imma give you some advice: leave the lovely pussy’s to us men with ADULT DICKS and stick to jacking off with your lil baby dick secure in your index finger and thumb! Ahaha your dick isn’t even big enough for your palm!
Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac. This guy got all sorts of klunge
http://i.imgur.com/1CdpS.jpg
and unless the nursery rhymes of my youth are lying, he only had ONE ball.
I know it’s a blow to the ego, but she sounds like a total bitch, you dodged a bullet.
Hey OP–so sorry that happened to you. Your friend’s ‘friend’ doesn’t sound too bright–not being mature enough and experienced enough to enjoy discovering that certain myths are just that, myths (e.g. the myth that you need a big cock to enjoy a great lay) is one thing; but the level of callous disregard for your feelings by laughing at you–especially in a public space (even if it was a private telephone convo, she was still obviously in a public area)–well that’s just mean and shitty. Do you really wanna tap that?
You definitely dodged a bullet on that one, OP–her attitude not only belies her lack of maturity and intelligence, but it reveals just how ‘great’ a romp with her would have been……i have my own shit that narrows the fucking pool for me OP–it sucks to feel like i am on the outside, but i can tell you this: the people that are cool, non-judgmental and open-minded are ALWAYS the best lays–and there are actually a lot of those people around, just maybe not so much in the place where your friend works! I have had guys with small cocks that have made me scream, and guys with huge cocks that have no idea how to fuck. The best times I have had (and there have been a few) have had NOTHING to do with size and EVERYTHING to do with honestly enjoying each other–a kind of connectedness that doesn’t imply necessary structure (i.e. relationship). Honesty and a willingness to be adventurous make for really great sex–doesn’t sound like that was on the agenda for you the other night, regardless.
Whether you are looking for a relationship or just NSA sex, it doesn’t matter–maybe pay a little more attention to how the person you are interested in treats others before you decide to take them home. Finding out if someone likes to laugh WITH people or AT people is a good place to start. And a little attention to the scene helps too–if you are surrounded by people who can’t seem to get out of the way of their own egos, you are gonna meet more chicks like that braniac you met through your friend, and that would suck BIG TIME.
Take care of yourself OP–this shit will sort itself out (really), but it does suck to have to deal with other people’s bullshit in the meantime. Hope you meet a chick who is worth your time soon.
i’m rootin for ya!
Shesang
what she-sang is saying. esp pre-screening your partners by seeing if they are laughing AT people, or with them.
of course, you have to be a decent sort yourself. dick size is not related, inverse or direct, to brain, heart or soul.
Hey Mr. Baby Dick
My artist boyfriend has a wonderful penis. Sure it smells like garbage juice and cheese whiz, but when we have sex after his art shows at the former dump site, it is magical. I just think about my very successful retail business on Spring Garden Road, my expensive car, my beautiful waterfront condo, and all of my beautiful things and I have a wonderful orgasm in no time.
Ob, you may have a small dick and you may be having problems keeping the ladies happy, but that gives you no right to come onto this website and persistantly annoy us with your avatar alerts and breakfast cereal farewells! Go away and don’t come back.
Sorry man. Some women just like a big dick. I don’t doubt you’re good in bed. I’ve heard it said that dudes with small dicks tend to try a little harder- to great effect! Sorry, it must hurt your feelings to hear people laughing at you. Keep trying. You’ll find a nice lady who appreciates your dick and the many orgasms you give her.
OP, I do sympathize with you or any man shortchanged in this macho-strutting society. What I would suggest are sex toys – check out Venus Envy – I’m sure they could gear you out. I went out with a guy in the ’70s who was a knockout but he had the same problem as you. I adored the guy but his heart pined for another who he eventually married and now has grandkids with. Be creative. There’s someone out there that will see beyond your tackle.
Lol, how do you aim that little stack of buttons when you pee?
It’s one woman’s opinion OP and a lame one at that.
Some guys (no one I know or happen to be familiar with) can have an ample organ but have trouble with hydraulics, it’s a schizoid beast. So pat yourself on the back, it’s in good working order. You need to find the right lady and make her sing.
OUCH, Ladies I love you all… but you can be cruel whan you want!
Most gals need more than penetration to get off and are fooling themselves if they think a big dick is a one-way ticket to bliss. A guy who knows what he’s doing is worth his weight in gold.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLg1k4I9fqk
I can’t believe all you lying bitches! Every one of you sighed with relief when you read this and thought “thank fuck I don’t have to put up with a tiny penis”. Y’all just wanna sound like you aren’t big pussied, shallow bitches but when it comes time to bitch up, where you gonna be? I bet it ain’t sucking Tiny’s little weiner!
You bitches can’t even be honest on an anonymous internet forum! Lame as fuck!
taint, you’re thinking like a GUY, not a woman. guys are very often obsessed with penis size but women would just be grateful if her partners hand would find it’s way ‘down there’.
the women here who have responded all make 100% sense. penis size is ‘almost’ irrelevant. I say almost because if it’s too big it limits what you can do. woman on top can be painful if a guy is too big, you can’t really let go. ditto rear entry, vaginal. how could one even consider anal.
think about why woman-woman sex is considered so spectacular. no penis at all involved there. the penis is important to the human it’s attached to. it’s a fun plaything for the partner but apart from it’s role in reproduction, the path to female pleasure is not paved with phalluses.
I can’t believe we are still having these discussions in 2014.
Last Mojito Monday, Kristen Vadgenasty and I were commiserating. – Sometimes you’re lucky to even get a choad. And sometimes, even that is more than you deserve.
Expert hands and tongues far outweigh any size penis. From my understanding of female genitalia…only an inch to two at the front of the female vag is the most sensitive. Therefore OP, your 2 and half inch penis is more than sufficient.
Two of the best orgasms I’ve had were from of a man with a small penis.
Don’t let it get you down, OB. A lot of women aren’t all about “big dick” and realize that there’s a LOT more to great sex than a man with a cock the size of your forearm 😛
exactly klyde. this is why the doctor can clip a chunk out of your cervix with no anesthetic used.
op, any chance your preferred sexual act is penile/vaginal intercourse? even if you ‘offer’ something else, if you are focussed on YOUR penis and wanting intercourse using YOUR penis so you can have an orgasm with YOUR penis that may be the problem.
there’s an old joke, I dated a guy with a two inch penis and a 10 inch tongue, but all he wanted to do was fuck.
it just doesn’t make sense that so many women have rejected you simply because of small penis size. it’s not a big deal. are you clean?
I’m surprised that this bitch is being seen as the fake that it is…
I’m not thinking like a man at all. If you were presented with a wall of dicks, without being able to see or talk to the man, I bet every single one of you would pick an average-large dick. I’d bet the last 40 bucks in my purse on it!
Time for Biggus Dickus.
http://quizilla.teennick.com/user_images/F…
sung to the song “i only want to be with you” hootie and the blowfish…
Little me, my nuts are as small as pearls, You like to laugh at me because I’m hung just like a squirrel. Sometimes it bugs me, I’m not a bigger guy, When I was a baby it was exactly the same size. But there’s nothing I can do, Cause I only got a 3 inch tool.
Come home with me, have a cocktail at my place, I gotta tell you before we get past 2nd base. In my pants, ain’t no big schwing, But if you can find him he’s a friendly little thing. But there’s nothing I can do, I only got a 3 inch tool. When I’m comming outta the pool, I only got a 1 inch tool.
Sometimes I wonder if It’ll ever extend, I get embarassed when I’m hanging with my friends. They like to razz me, I don’t know why. They get me a Happy Meal and super-size my fry. And there’s nothing I can do, I only got a 3 inch tool. And when I’m comming outta the pool, I only got a 1 inch tool.
Yea, it’s small but it’s real cool, I’m happy with a 3 inch tool!
and not to be outshone, the world’s first labia-enhancement dye
(it’s the reviews, it’s the reviews….)
http://www.amazon.com/Myly-New-Pink-Button…
Just had to use the L-word, didn’t you?
*Ivan shakes head in mock exasperation*
You just need to fuck MORE bitches one to three times, then dump their asses for having one breast bigger than the other.
I guess it is possible to titty fuck just about anyone. Lol
everyone seems to be missing the Most Best thing about small dick. At least he can get his WHOLE dick sucked without choking or gaging his giver.
I’d check your friend, remember it was him that allegedly overheard her complaining about your mini dick, perhaps he’s fucking her?
THE VORACIOUS VAGINA
“It’s not the size but how you work it.” Mr. Baby Dick
What is really going on here? Superficially it’s about Mr. Baby Dick’s tiny penis but no, it’s really about a very deeply seated male terror of the voracious vagina. Of what does that fear consist? Let me explain.
Even as pubescent boys there were vivid tales of the vagina “locking” on the male’s penis if she were frightened or startled during intercourse. A bone in the shape o a turkey’s wish-bone would descend on the penis, pinning it to the unforgiving walls of the vagina. The penis could not be extracted! The voracious vagina would not be denied! The male would gradually wither, weaken and die.
We learned that the voracious vagina was in control during intercourse. The male might “perform” but the female, lying back, perhaps eating grapes, calmly assessed his performance. His performance, of course, was rated in terms of the female’s satisfaction, a point rarely attained because of the unquenchable demands of the voracious vagina. The voracious vagina was like a large vacuum cleaner against which the penis had no chance. It was nothing more than the humble servant of the voracious vagina. It served at her pleasure, and make no mistake.
The archetype of the voracious vagina is found, of course, in the Preying Mantis. After copulation the female would turn around and consume the male. In one end and in the other, so to speak. Only then was her voracious vagina to be satisfied.
New Avatar Alert! The Princess Pats
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio.
ah ah ah oh I cannot breathe. MM I will never forgive you!
the Voracious Vagina ( even I must resort to the shift key for this one)
we need a comic book! we need an nfb short! we need Debbie harry lyrics!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it ate my car!!!!
like a dyson, it never loses suction no matter how full it gets!
(ivan I have not used the L word in months – klyde has been point man on that front)
My ears perked up…someone mention the “L” word, lol.
hahahaha good morning coffee-man!
A very nice tableau MM, but *ahem* I am constrained to point out that the proper familiar name for the Regiment is “The Patricias” – never, ever, ever, the Princess Pats.
Not a comprehensive regimental history by any means, but eminently readable:
http://www.amazon.ca/The-Patricias-A-Centu…
GDM – at this point it hardly matters who among us summoned the incubus. It has returned.
“Is that a baby carrot in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”
RSVPS
: Good dog Molly (02/25, 9:34AM)
Good dog, you must breathe deeply and regularly to maximize the sucking power of your Voracious Vagina.
: Ivan Sonofabitch – 95th Rifles (10:07AM)
Write when you get work.
: Naveed (10:56AM)
Who are you quoting?
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
breathing has nothing to do with it my dear professor ‘iggins.
it’s all about the kegel maneuver
Try living on these oddly named streets?
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-…
I agree with Meaty, obviously a fake bitch. But just in case, here is a VERY informative article.
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/angler
hoist, i am now forever in your debt.
how does that jewish prayer go again? ‘lord, good morning, and thank you for not making me a woman’ (or an anglerfish)
I think I saw a Voracious Vagina once.
Thank god the human female doesn’t reproduce like the female anglerfish.However I’ve known women who sucked the life(not the good part) out of they’re mates by devouring the very assents of they’re husbands,to the point the husbands balls were worn as dangle earrings in the wives ears,as a trophy of her latest victim…or umm ,i mean love.