You all know I was with my partner for 24 years and lived together for 22 years. Obviously, it was a difficult decision to end the relationship and the stupid comments aren’t helping.
I don’t want to hear things like “At least you didn’t have kids” or “It’s not like you were married”
None of that helps it just makes it seem like my relationship wasn’t important and I should just be able to get over it and move on like nothing happened.
One of the idiots who made the “married” comment is divorced and they were only married for three years…I didn’t say “Well at least you weren’t together for 20 years” did I? No because that would be rude and stupid.
Don’t tell me about guys you want to set me up with…it’s been less than a month for fucks sake. Just give me some time before I decide to start dating again.
Don’t ask if he cheated on me. He didn’t and neither did I sometimes relationships end and it has nothing to do with infidelity.
And please stop telling me that I should try to get money from him. I have a job, I can take care of myself. We divided up our assets as best as we could without going to court. We kept things civil and we’re both going our separate ways. There is no need to make this into a lengthy battle that would only bring more pain.
Also, not even waiting a few hours before reminding me to change my marital status from common law to single on my tax and work forms is tacky. I would have gotten to it within the week. It’s not the highest on my priority list right now. —Single again
This article appears in Jun 17-23, 2010.
Twenty-four eh? I didn’t know that.
Don’t listen to these insensitive drama fucks – it’s a hard decision to end such a long relationship and I admire your maturity in keeping it quite civilized between you and your former partner. Man, I can’t believe the crassness of some people – tell ’em to stick their idiot noggins in a deep fryer.
people can’t stand it when you keep your head and are practical; they love to see a train wreck and you’re ruining their perverse pleasure
You and your former partner seem very mature about the whole thing… slapping the word “married” on a relationship doesn’t make it a good one… there are thousands of people trying to rip each others throats out over nickles and dimes in divorces every day.
These people probably just felt on the spot and didn’t know what to say… that or they’re just idiots. Either way, I think you’re great.
Congratulations for having a relationship that lasted 22 years.
Commiserations on the break up which appears to have been handled with careful consideration and maturity.
Good luck with the rest of your life.
o.p., shit happens, and it happens to all of us at some time or other. this is just a another stumbling block on the road in life. look at it,wonder about it, read what you will into it, and pass on by.
I don’t think your friends are saying those things to be mean, I just don’t think they know what else they can say. Everyone feels like they should say something comforting when a friend is going through a hard time and they often don’t really know how to deal with it either or know what is a good thing to say.
LIFE SUCKS, GET IN THERE! OP is a horny single woman looking for a rebound and you are just the guy to do it.
Crazy to think you were in a relationship for almost as long as I’ve been alive, though. Look on the bright side: you’re single now, meaning you can do whatever and whoever you want. I’m quite happy being single, it’s great to be FREE!
As for the people that say “It’s not like you were married”, many were probably being brainless when they said it. If they deserve a reply at all (most won’t), you could just ask them in what important respect your relationship differed from marriage…having been 22 years worth of common-law marriage and all. I suspect that the people who deserve a reply will see the error of their statement.
Well, it is a good thing you never had kids because putting kids through a divorce is equivalent to child abuse. The children suffer.
People would rather say anything than nothing. Take it for what it is, a noise in an uncomfortable silence.
it’s always the same lines… another month and no-one will be saying anything about it anymore… unless of course you’re dwelling on it.
don’t do that….
at least I wouldn’t recommend it.
OP is just feeling sorry for herself. Get over it and move on. If you did not want the attention you would not bring up the ‘break-up’ with your so called friends.
what is the point of this post?
“putting kids through a divorce is equivalent to child abuse. The children suffer.”
Huh? My parents were divorced when I was a kid. I guess that makes me a child abuse victim now? Woo hoo, sympathy time! WHAAHHH life is so tough, feel sorry for me…
I believe in many cases staying together ‘for the kid’s’ is the real child abuse !
Kid’s are not stupid, & they know somethings not right & how long can do you think you can hide your dislike/contempt for each other from them ?
… splitting & both of you still doing whatever you can for them is better IMO.