Picture it: I’m standing there, in a local book shop, trying to look for a book (obviously). A woman is nearby, with her 6 kids. All the kids want books. The mother says “I’m not buying books just so you kids can sit around and read all day!” – lovely example of supporting literacy these days. The mother leads her 6 kids, in single file towards where I am standing, just minding my business. I’m standing about 2-3 feet away from the bookshelf, there was tonnes of room for her and her offspring to walk behind me, but NO!! They have to walk infront of me. The mother actually stops right infront of me, her purse pushing me back. Her kids are all screaming around me. She starts scolding one child, her hair nearly rubbing my face! I clear my throat – nothing, no movement or recognition of my existence. I say “excuse me…”. She turns around. She was so close to me, that while turning around, her face basically rubs all over my chest (I’m refusing to move!), and says to me, “Can’t you see I’m busy?!?” I say, “I don’t care. I was standing here, you could have had the basic decency to say excuse me or at least tell your children that this sort of behaviour isn’t proper in a public place”. She lets out a loud “UGH!” and leads her children away. 10 minutes later, I hear another woman say “Excuse me lady, if you and your children can’t behave here, then you can leave!”.
So, to the short, frosty-banged woman who has way too many children: Cross my path again lady, and I’ll throw one of your children at you. You have 6 of them, you can spare one at least. And great fucking parenting skills…you set an amazing example for your children. No wonder they act like animals…stupid surburban bitch!
—LivingintheH-Dot
This article appears in Aug 27 – Sep 2, 2009.
I love this Bitch – especially the “I’m not buying books just so you kids can sit around and read all day!” Classic! Way to set a good example to the future generation.
Hahaha that’s awesome! I’m glad you said something and I hope you have the chance to throw a kid at her!
I was in a gas bar the other day and I had the misfortune of standing behind this lady with 3 unruly kids. She told them TWICE to settle down and was ignored both times.
Now the clincher … her purchases included 1 large bag of Dorito chips and 3 bags of skittles. The off-the-wall kids were already each eating a bag of chips and washing them down with Pepsi.
And she wonders why her kids are hyper active and don’t listen to her. She fucking rewards them with junk food for their bad behaviour in public. Glad she isn’t my neighbour.
It doesn’t help parents are encouraged to always let their little ones win. Nope, no losers in real life. And no coping skills either.
Let their little ones win? Huh? Whatever happened to being a parent to the child instead of trying to be their best friend?
Of course this lady sounds like the exact reason a course, test and licensing should be madatory these days for new parents. The good ones will pass easily and the trashy ones or “kids having babies” will be followed around by child protection services until the kids are 18.
ooo how very NDP of you, VOR! I can’t wait to see what that legislation will cost in dollars… never mind the freedom we’d lose as a society.
My very favourite thing in the world is when a “parent” lets their delightful wee one destroy everything in sight (like books in certain bookstores, papers on certain people’s desks at work, stuff in certain “service” people’s briefcases) while mindlessly repeating over and over in that cloying voice “Don’t touch anything sweetie . . . . don’t touch anything sweetie . . . don’t touch anything sweetie . . .. ha ha ha mummy says to stop ripping the covers off those books sweetie they’re not yours . . . . leave mummy’s Valium alone sweetie . . . .” (I would draw in the musical notes if I could.)
I’m not really a real-life believer in legislating solutions to most human problems . . . but I have to admit the “baby licensing” fantasy does enter my mind at such times.
♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪
Look, if you’ve only had sex six times in your life since graduating high school you’d be a pretty serious bitch too, so count your blessings.
Kay, I missed you shnuckumms.
Ha ha ha! LOVE the musical notes.
Dino baby, I got a little thrill seeing you post too but I didn’t have the guts to say so lest Fat be lurking and presume something ugly. Bitch on, dearest Dino, Bitch on!
<3
Just checking in; and women chatting is not “gay” to me, “Kay”.
That is what I meant about you projecting your problems out into others, Kay-bulous!
What?
I’ve got an idea for a patented child-sized “incubator” that will house human chidlren until about the age of three. There, they can be exposed to Mozart, light and colour and all manner of stimuli, whislt attached to a catheter and colon-bag.
Electric impulses would serve for muscle-growth, and “crying” could be conditioned out of the infant by the same electric impulses, only stronger…and the chamber would, of course, be sound-proof.
Kinda like Superman when he came to Earth as an infant.
Feeding via an IV…cleaning not necessary as the humidity would be 99%…
This would solve all the problems with squalling infants and misbehaving “toddlers” on buses, planes and in public…because there would be no need to travel, or appear in public, with your sulking brood in tow.
After three years, the specimen could be released into the world, already speaking/reading/ and being polite (zzzzap!) thanks to my invention.
Into a welcoming world, made better by technology, once again…
Could you lock kids in them Frosty? If so people could buy them for other people’s kids and sneakily get them in and then the parents wouldn’t have the option of raising hellions. But no parent thinks their own child is bad and needs something like that.
Mr Frosty…I swear you like a cross between Kid Rock and Ozzy Osbourne! I liked the photo of you on the can better!