You acted like a child. I felt like your mother. This is why we did not and could not last in a relationship together. You took advantage of my empathic and caring personality and got immense satisfaction out of me caring for you, despite an 8 year age difference. I’ve always been the one to try and help rescue the damaged. I now realize that you can not rescue someone who doesn’t want to help themselves get better. You’ve torn me down to the bottom with you and ripped my heart out of my chest. I hope one day you grow up and realize this. —Always, The Rescuer
This article appears in Jul 24-30, 2014.
Don’t hold your breath waiting for this other person to grow up.
Holy shit, this sounds like my ex. OB, do you by any chance have a psychopathic son that may have helped end the relationship?
Why do people think they can save, rescue, or change people and when they can’t, they blame the other person. OB you have a problem just as bad as the other person. It’s nice to try and help but to continue when they obviously don’t want it is lunacy.
Sigh… we are regurgitating old Bitches?
Rescue Rangers Away!!!! You must be Gadget! Chip and Dale will never come around and grow up, those nutty nut cases!
op, get a pint of hagen daz and a shit load of salty snacks and settle in with your friends to movie night/trash the ex. your bloody personal affairs are of no public interest.
Some people just want to waste their life. You’re not going to be able to change that.
Depression and lack of ambition can be maddening… and not just for the depressed.
I know of these things… if not more than anything else.
I always cringe a bit when I hear people say things like “I just care too much for people” or “I just always only ever think of other people’s needs before my own and they take advantage of me”. It’s bullshit. All these people are doing is stroking their own ego so they can feel like they are in some way noble. The fact is, OB, you made poor decisions and now you can learn from them and not make them again. The ‘fact’ that you’re some saint who always rescues people from themselves despite your own inner turmoil (a ‘fact’ that we’ll just have to take your word for) is irrelevant.
the mary martyr routine. it’s to lock you into perpetual gratitude. NOT!
plus always seeking out the damaged because they are easy marks for it.
The time is ripe for an app that can allow pathological nurturers to hook up with emotional grifters.
How about it science?
omg.. why are people not happy that is bitcher thinks they are a caring person who wants to help people? That’s a good thing.. I too have been in a situation (not a relationship) where I was continuously trying to ‘help’ a person who merely enjoyed the emotional roller coaster and just like this bitch I too had to learn my own lesson the hard way..
Its good you have come to this decision and now the hard part comes when you have to actually stick it out and not help anymore..
there are gradations of caring just as there are gradations of temperature.
normal, reasonable SANE caring is good. but roiling boil is not, unless you want your goose cooked. as ivan said – it’s pathological. trouble is, those with that particular pathology don’t see it.
missJ, do you think OP will be upset you called her a bitch?
I have a problem with people stroking their own miniature violin. “Woe-is-me I am such a caring person, so selfless and pure. I must be so strong an individual and so compassionate to care for these lost self-destructive souls. Without me the world would be a cold place but I am the ray of sunshine that keeps the warmth in the lives of so many others. I hope I receive the praise that I deserve for being so empathetic.” Phony and disillusioned.
I don’t think she meant ‘bitch’ as in the person was a bitch, I think she was referring to the actual bitch as in the post the OB wrote to have posted on the coast, molly.
oh don’t ruin my wee funny kitty