I love the way you cushion me and comfort me, let me flop all over you. You press me in all the right places and when the time is right, you cover me totally and let me slip into blissful unconsciousness. Bed, I fucking love you. —Aurora

This article appears in Mar 3-9, 2011.

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69 Comments

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  2. Fuck… that reminds me of that one time… nevermind. What happened in undergrad STAYS in undergrad. heh.

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  4. 🙂
    I have one I’m dying to use and there’s ALWAYS bitches on the subject…
    I just have to wait for it to come up.

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  5. Look at you with your own little stock photo collection waiting for the right time. That’s like rehearsing possible come-backs Z!. I shall make fun of you in person when the time presents itself. lol. Just kidding…I’m a little jealous cause I don’t know how to post pictures 🙁

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  6. Just copy the link of the photo in the comment — right click the picture, go to properties, get the link and cut and paste here. 🙂

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  14. I think they seriously need to make adult-sized race car beds. That would be totally awesome.

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  15. Mmm I have the comfiest bed on the planet. It’s PERFECT. And I have my favorite winter sheets on now (polar fleece) and my duvet and perfect pillows and OMG I want to go climb into it RIGHT. NOW.

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  19. Do you waddle too? heehee

    … ok I don’t waddle…. but some days I feel like I should be 🙁

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  26. You’re frigging right, Ivan! “Oooooh it’s SO hard being a kid these days”

    RIGHT. Fuck off! Free food/clothes/housing/toys? I know I’d sure like some of that — especially since I drag my fat ass out of bed at 5:30 in the morning to go to work every goddamned day.

    I’d like to go to the beach too, but I gotta spend my days working. Fools.

    Also, jonno: someone already beat ya to the hamburger bed 😉

    Alsox2: I always wanted bunk beds when i was little, but I got a stupid princess bed instead. So what if there was only one of me!

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  29. I wonder if the,erm, “hostess” action figure comes with other Princess Leia costumes. You know the one I mean – Giggity.

    Morning Painey. Rem love to you and your bitchy back.

    One of my HS and Uni buds lived in a big old Bates motel style house in Bible Hill. Lots of stairs , garrets and crawlspaces. His bedroom was basically a closet lined with bookshelves and his bed was an alcove built into a wall with a foam rubber mattress. Very cosy. One of our crew pronounced “WOW, What a great place to hide Jews” when he got the grand tour of the house.

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  30. Ah fuck…. I totally missed that photo link. Could someone please serve me up some “epic” with my fail?

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  33. It was a good try, though, jonno!

    You get a ribbon for participation, like all the kiddies do these days. No losers in this generation of kids! Y’all win for trying!

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  35. I. FUCKING. LOVE. IT.

    *mwah* <-- for zed. I’ll just take my grimace-looking self and try to squeeze on that thing wtihout breaking it.

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  37. I don’t like mint unfortunately…but I was just talking about that shamrock shake! lol. My blizzard faze just ended 2 night ago when I had to sleep sitting up because the heartburn was so bad. The orange ones are good your right.

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  38. RC’s the hamburglar, kim, PK’s the milkshake loving fat ass purple tastebud! Sheesh!

    Bring ME a shamrock shake for heaven’s sake!

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  39. RC: before my cholecystectomy, blizzards would make me so sick and give me so much pain I couldn’t even talk. My mom had the same thing and said the pain was worse than labour :O

    And then I’d start vomiting bile 🙁

    TMI, I know, but true story.

    I can eat blizzards now. I don’t because they’re bad for the ol’ wilfred brimley disease and my wasteline, but I still love ’em.

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  40. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever had a blizzard, which is somewhat odd.

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  41. Whoa.

    Well, we gotta ease you into this. Try an oreo to start. Then start experimenting 😉

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  42. Hahaha I will. Although it’ll be somewhat more difficult now that the DQ on SGR is closed. 🙁

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  43. That freaking blew my mind when it closed 🙁 That’s one of NGF-PK’s spots and where we always met for afternoon lunches and evening movies 🙁

    Sidenote: where did the old A&W used to be on SGR? Was it in that building? All I remember from when I was super little was walking down a bunch of stairs to get to the washrooms.

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  44. Nope. Before DQ there was another Ice Cream Parlour there called Swensons. I believe the A&W was on the other side of the street farther down. And in the mid-80s there was one on Barrington.

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  45. OOOH that place! I totally forgot about Swensons! My dad used to take me there when we’d have daddy-daughter days in the summer when he had his vacation and we’d go to the public gardens 🙂

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  46. Halifax certainly sucks for closing down conveniently placed food places. There was nothing better than getting a blizzard and sitting across the street watching all the young hotties running by on a hot summer day.

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  47. A & W is in Park Lane now in the basement by the theatre. Word on the street is that Halifax (SGR area) is suppose to be getting a chicken burger!! Wouldn’t that be awesome. I miss the Harvey’s on SGR. Also I miss that you can’t feed the birds in public gardens anymore. 🙁

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  48. Yeah, they used to have a fabric store where the office building is by the bus stop just down from shoppers. I miss the Swiss Chalet 🙁

    I think the Chickenburger is supposed to be on a piece of land owned by the CB owners on Queen and Spring Garden. Mmm loves me some chicken burgers 🙂

    And fun fact: chickenburger is owned by the same dude who owns mills and the lulu franchise. I think another brother owns duggars or something.

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  49. Yeah Mickey MacDonald he also owns Palookas Gym…that’s where he had the Mills fashion show last year…and they served Chicken Burgers!.

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  50. Chickenburger is absolute crap. I mean who can’t boil chicken and put a glob of it between cheap buns and then sell them for more than they’re worth? I’d like to see the owner pour some of his tasteless giblets into a pair of lulu pants and hang them outside the store. Then I’d feel both things actually had a use. To give me absolute gratification in letting loose some pent up laughter. Pffft… lulu girls.

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  51. Kerflunk- I think you should go back to your Mr. Noodle and vodka because you obviously can’t handle real food when eating it. I have been going to the Chickenburger since I was a little boy and always consider it a treat. Mmmm………. chicken burgers, onion rings and a vanilla milkshake. I think I know where I am headed on Sunday for lunch 😛

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  52. There’s much more to a chicken burger than just boiling it and putting a glob on a bun. I’ve got some inside knowledge and trust me, you can’t duplicate that shit at home 😉

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  53. Kerflunk….keep your stray ass off my love pages you dick! This is not a bitch board on this side…it’s a love side. So Fuck off.

    Breath…..

    I love the chicken burger….I get the cheeseburger, onion rings, I love the fish and chips too….uuummm. I go for the atmosphere and the jukebox though. I play the same 3 songs since I was 8 years old….lol. I might see you there Jonno.

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  54. They probably make some of the best fish and chips in the city, RC!

    LOL Bitcher/lovers summit at the chick on sunday 😛

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  55. Hoochie-mama! Never get between a hormonal preggo and her fast food >; ) I kinda like it when RC shows her teeth and claws.

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  57. jonnoman and REAL CHICK… what are you, transvestite super hero brother and sister? Or REAL CHICK are you the Mom and little jonnoman is your boy toy step son? They likely play the same 3 songs since you were 8 because there were ONLY 3 songs when you were 8.
    Well darn. I then read you are preggo and feel a little bad for speaking ill of you. So what if you’re old. I happen to love my grandma quite a lot. Gay boy jonnoman can still kiss my ass.

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  58. I’m a little emotional and like the love pages because no ones mean over here. You’re a little too much for me to read after the bloody post. Sorry. And you can call me old or tranny or whatever on the bitch pages just not on the love side please and thank you. We all have perceptions of what eachother look like in real life and I picture you as this pig I went to high schoold with who still trys to live like we were 19. Which is easy because he still lives at home with his parents has a part time job and dates little girls at the age of 30.

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  60. I humbly withdraw my negative comments from the loves. As much I love stirring the shit I will certainly draw the line at making someone feel genuinely bad. My apologies chick.

    *shrinks back to the firey depths from whence he came, or in other word the bitch forums*

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  62. Awww. Thanks kerflunk. also I applaud you for your honesty on the other side. Even if it is a little too much.
    How are you feeling bread lady? I’m sure this damp weathers not helping with the pain. I hope the boy’s visit brightens up your weekend!

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  63. hey mamabear…their flight was late and we stayed up into the wee hours yattering^^it’s wonderful to see how happy they are. getting my shot on thursday, takes 10 minutes

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  69. a thousand pardons all. i should have taped the fitting but apparently after almost 12 years on this earth the 95 lb. donkey boy has decided he doesn’t like clothes with legs^^so i think he will remain jammieless for the remainder of his days. it was funny trying but is not to be. this is a facsimile only http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2604/403447&hellip;

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