We met at the age of 15 and went to our Jr. Graduation together. We were High School sweethearts, you were my first and only true love. I left you thinking there was something more, I couldn’t have been more wrong. You are everything and I find myself two years later just realizing what a mistake I’ve made. You’ve just moved on and I’m too late. I’ll never forget or stop trying to be with you, the love of my life. —A broken heart by my own doings
This article appears in Dec 23-29, 2010.
http://xkcd.com/807/
Shit just got real.
If it’s True Love then it’s never too late. I know lots of couples who did the same thing.
yeah, see, RC wants you to tear the current relationship apart…
destroy everything they’re currently holding dear, all for your own, selfish ends.
🙂 real nice RC…
once they’re available again, then you both can live happily ever after…
screw that third wheel loser.
I’m sorry Z…let me rephrase….I know a lot of couples who after years of “finding themselves” and dating other people suddenly find themselves both single and in a place where they both realize what they lost so many years ago. In no way do I condone breaking up a relationship because you think you’re the one the persons suppose to be with …that shit only happens in the movies. What I was trying to say was that if it’s meant to be it’ll be….but don’t wait for something that may never come….sometimes we miss the open doors because we spend so much time staring at the closed ones.
Your comments all are appreciated, I will stay being her friend and wait until we are both single again. If that never happens, then yes i let a door close. But i can only hope that is not true.
don’t sit and stare at that door though… build an alarm that tells you when the door’s open… then you’re free to window shop while you wait.
kinda like those blinkers they give you that go off when your table is ready.
what do you mean? we talk now but she is afraid to hang out with me, says she still has feelings but has more feelings for this guy right now and wants to give him a chance. what should my next move be?
No next move!!. She’s always going to love you….but she needs to look at other options…because she got burned with you. Let her go…if she comes back (yadda, yadda, yadda) meant to be.
it means she’s window shopping as well.
you’ve no choice bud. wait it out (ill advised) or get some dynamite and start making your own holes in the wall.
Or you could always passively try and fail repeatedly until depression and low self esteem gets the best of you and you turn to drinking and wallowing in misery.
two options, given by two people both complete opposites. I know not what i will do, but will continue to at lest talk to her at night and tell her my feelings. Any other advice is much appreciated
If I found out my boyfriend was talking to his ex every night and she was telling him that she had feelings and he was telling her he had feelings for her…then I think I would feel a little betrayed….and probably leave him…so by doing what you’re doing you’re still sabotaging her relationship….but if she’s taking part then she’s not really being honest with her current bf. So to give the other guy a real chance she needs to cut ties with you….sorry.
speaking from experience… RC’s right.
chatting repeatedly late at night with others they’re interested in leads to….
destruction.
wait, I though RC and I were agreeing?
completely opposite?
now I’m confused.
I may have miss-read those comments before, choices really the same. My intentions are not to break them up, although i want that, what i want right now is for her to make that choice on her own, but i find it hard to ever cut ties like that, we never really have and i don’t want to and i doubt she does. I feel like i am holding on to the last few strings, and letting go would kill me and i’d lose what i have left, but are you suggesting i let us go, or instead (what i want to do) fight for her.
i realize that i am not helping the relationship by being there, and inadvertently am sabotaging it, but i just want to talk to her and catch up, the problems that it causes is collateral to me, i never want to hurt her. I hope you are understanding what i am saying, i feel like you may be seeing me as manipulating
you seem ‘starstruck’…. I’m just afraid (for your sake of course) that while you’re pining,
you’re letting potential relationships (be they close or not) and essentially life itself go by as well.
She’s out there, dating. Meeting people… learning.
Perhaps do the same?
unless you’re unequivocally, %100, completely, emphatically sure that she is the only, sole, unique, single thing you want… and will want … ever.
This isn’t a plea for you to man-whore it up or anything…
but keep your options and eyes open in the mean time.
Never know, she’s got you any time she wants right now…. in theory.
dating and taking yourself off the market from time to time might show her you’re desirable and perk her interest.
(BTW, I’m the last person EVER to be giving any of this advice so really take it with the smallest grain of salt imaginable unless someone else with a bit more credible experience backs it up)
Yes, starstruck maybe, or i just feel like i do know 100% that she is the one. I know that sounds insane, but when we broke up, i’ve dated since, hooked up done all that. Now after i am coming out of that daze i feel like i’ve really screwed up and i need to try and fix things.
However you may be right, i should date someone again, but i feel it wrong to do this because i know i can never give them 100% let alone 50% really
Your advice is just nice to vent to, its good to hear what others thinks, i never though people would even respond to what i wrote.
we might be insane lostheart, but we are, at times, very useful…sorry i have no advice
Move on. Live your life. If you really love her and believe that you have a future – trust that and let her live the life she needs to now. For now, you’re tormenting yourself, she’s being dishonest, and it’s just getting a bit messy.
You do have to man up and make the decision for both of you. And, well, having been in bizarro situations like this, she may be playing you too a bit, dude. It’s all flattery to have someone wanting you, kind of strokes her ego. You should try being the one SHE wants but can’t have. Then you’ll really know…
Ralmn, you make good points. I guess it is up to me to leave her alone, but i feel like if i do that i will lose her forever. Honestly she is different than anyother girl, games and such don’t really matter. I was the one she wanted for years after we stopped dating, and i guess i enjoyed the flattery. The idea that she would be always there, i took that for granted. It seems the consensus is to stop talking to her altogether, but everything in me is telling me to fight.
OK…this is just a couple who always wants what they can’t have! You didn’t want her for years when she still loved you and now that she’s dating again you want her back??? That’s what you said right. “you always want what you can’t have crap”. You should go on with your life. If she wanted to be with you then she would be….she’s playing both sides. Relationships that aren’t based on honesty will always fall apart…and in this situation there’s another man in the mix.
Yep, I think I agree with you RC – he sounds like a 16 year old kid who doesn’t know what he wants, neither does she, so they need to grow up. Maybe they’re perfect for each other, in their delusional ego stroke c “me” centered lives. ha.
Wow, sorry to upset you guys there. Call me a 16 if you want, i certainly am not. I don’t think its crazy for us to have gone through that. It to me isn’t the want when you don’t have it, although it does appear like that. why?
because i never knew of this fella when i went back to her. I wanted her back because i took time to reflect on things, people i’ve been with, dated and such; and i stopped talking to her for about 4 months. My self realization that i made a mistake. Not that i couldn’t have her, that was a realization after the fact. but maybe the relationship is one of those “want what you want when you can’t have it” i really don’t believe that but now we are speculating into my relationship i a little to deep, without all the facts.
I thank you all for your advice, i will take what i can from it.