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I don’t know what you expected when you rolled up beside me and told me you wanted to fuck me in the ass until I shit myself, but it sure as hell wasn’t for me to throw my nearly-full iced vanilla latte with whipped topping and sprinkles right in your stupid face. And you also probably didn’t expect me to stand my ground and scream at you to eat a bag of dicks when you jumped out of the car and started threatening me. I honestly thought you were going to beat the crap out of me for a minute, and maybe you would have if it hadn’t been broad daylight. But I would literally rather take a beating than take any more of this shit from botched abortions like you. Fuck you. This woman is DONE. And you gaslighting dickblisters in the peanut gallery can preemptively go fuck yourselves. I don’t need your belief or your approval to validate my rage. Go to hell. —No More
This article appears in Aug 18-24, 2016.
Maybe he did expect you to share your latte. Did you ever think of that? Anyway,Sister, you keep on Titting the Elbow of the patriarchy and sooner or later we’ll all be your ally.
Have to admit, this made me laugh:
https://a.ltrbxd.com/resized/film-poster/9…
Such vitriol! Do you kiss your Mother with that mouth?
Validate your rage? Whenever does that happen here?
Now, the exessive description of your coffee drink causes me to question the validity of your bitch; why did you go into detail in its description when your could’ve just said “coffee”?
On top of that, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t have had the crap beaten out of you – it falls into the excessive descriptors group.
The questions I have are: Why are you dating botched abortions? What’s a dickblister? Why write a public “bitch” and not expect questions and comments?
But most importantly: WHERE is the proverbial “bag of dicks” to which you ladies keep referring? Gay men everywhere want to know…
I’d like to know what the police officer said when she reported this incident.
I actually jumped up and cheered reading this. On behalf of every woman who’s ever experienced something like this and reacted with stunned silence, THANK YOU!
Yup. I’ve also had enough of men who think they can walk or drive past us women and yell totally obscene things at us. It happens at all hours of the day, but usually when we’re alone. I am usually too stunned by the total suddenness and vulgarity of these obscenities to react in time so I’m glad you stood up to this total d**khead. Thanks!
*Applause
Bitch of the Year!
I just find it hard to believe that someone would say that. Really? “I wanna fuck you up the ass till you shit yourself”?
PS; if you said something to me and I (as a man) threw hot coffee at you in response, I would be arrested and charged with assault, but when the genders are reversed, it’s a reason to cheer. Not saying he didn’t deserve it, but… double standard much?
I find it so hard to believe that this stuff actually happens — I guess because I’m not usually around to hear it. I was crossing the street once and some teens in their mom’s car yelled ‘slut’ at the woman waiting at the crosswalk with me. We were both pretty shocked. She just said “I guess they feel big now”. Maybe they were talking to me?
I’ve asked a few of my female friends if this is really as much of a problem for them as the internet makes it out to be; women whom I consider to be honest, non-biased people (not the ultra- SJW types you see in places like this). One or two of the people I asked said that it is something that happens to them at least once a month. All of them said that it is something that has happened to them more than once.
I think (part of) the reason the male commenters here push back is because we don’t really see it happening, as it doesn’t tend to happen as often when other men are around, and we take it as an indication that (some) females think most men behave this way or think it’s an acceptable way to behave. Once you take your ego out of the equation and just give the benefit of the doubt and listen and consider what they’re saying, it starts to look like a pretty big problem.
PS – OP, this is not an attempt to validate your rage, etc I don’t know you…but I also don’t need your approval to make a comment here so feel free to go fuck yourself as well.
@Ho!st It IS a big problem, and has been this way as long as I can remember. I don’t know what the solution is; do we women start to call the police each and every time this happens? I think that would generally be a huge waste of time and tax payer money since finding the creep is nearly impossible. Should women start walking around with cameras out and at the ready to capture these random verbal attacks? Should we start throwing objects at them, since these attacks happen usually when a woman is walking and the man is in a car (real cowardly)? It’s ridiculous but aside from yelling back at them I don’t know what the hell to do about it as a woman. As a man, what would YOU suggest we do in response? Clearly shocked silence isn’t helping.
I don’t know what to tell you Rubyjaye, I am not the type of person who does this sort of thing so I really am at a loss as to how to prevent it from happening. As for how to respond to it, I am afraid I don’t really have any advice. When a stranger says something assholish to me, depending on my mood, I usually just ignore it. If I’m having a bad day I will say something shitty back to them. I’m not sure how productive either of those reactions actually are but that’s just how I respond. Sorry I can’t be more help.
Well, rubyjay, I’ll take a crack at it…
I would ignore it. People say nasty, mean shit to me every day. Does it bother me? Sometimes. Do I let those people know that it bothers me? Not really. Sometimes I let it get to me, but more often than not I feel stupid when I react with anything more than indifference.
My point is, you will never be able to change people, no matter how unacceptable their behavior is. Trying is like wageing a war on drugs or terror. Great idea on paper, but completely unenforceable and a complete waste of time and effort. It’s just words, and they only get to you if you let them.
OP, you are my hero. Thank you so much for sharing this. Stories like yours give other women the courage to fight back. I know the next time some douche shouts something obscene at me, I’ll be ready. Hopefully with a fancy milkshake.
This is perhaps the most perfectly written Love the Way We Bitch in the history of the column.
Also, I am 100% on board with No More’s reaction. Latte in the face is the perfect expression for the kind of frustration she felt here. First: it does no actual physical harm, just causes a big mess and some humiliation… so it’s retaliation without escalation, you could say. Second, the sacrifice of such a delicious drink really demonstrates the egregiousness of the offence. People don’t just toss a $7 beverage over nothing.
Also, loveloveLOVE the accompanying artwork. Nice one, Coast.
“Just ignore it.”
No.
We’re done ignoring it. Haven’t you been getting the memos? We’ve been ignoring it all our lives, and we are done. We were told to ignore it when boys snapped our bra straps in grade 6. We were told to ignore it when boys teased us about our developing bodies. We were told to ignore it when boys started nasty rumours about us in high school. And the people telling us to ignore it were the same people telling us we must have been asking for it when those boys went too far. They were the same people telling us we should have known better than to go there, than to do that, drink that, wear that. “Just ignore it” was almost always uttered in the same breath with “boys will be boys”.
No.
Boys ignore it. Why can’t girls? Men accept you ladies as you are. Why can’t you accept men as we are?
*sighs and thinks: girls will be girls! rolls eyes*
They shouldn’t accept THAT kind of man as he is. I wouldn’t accept a woman (or man) who thought it was cool to put me down. The difference between the shitty things people say to me that I choose to ignore is that usually people aren’t making personal, sexual, attacks. I think that changes the tone significantly. To clarify, I was not suggesting you ignore it. I was asked how I thought you should respond, I just don’t have an answer. Erica B does make a good point “People don’t just toss a $7 beverage over nothing.”
People really pay $7 for coffee…?
Maybe the hoity toity vanilla latte with sprinkles was a signal.
As a dickblister/member of the peanut gallery I can assure you I fucked myself after reading that sexy bitch
Disrespectful and abusive behaviour is learned at home. One of the nastiest kids I grew up with was himself being treated brutally at home. Young children imitate their parents’ behaviours and they often continue them as adults.
If a young boy sees his father being respectful towards his mother (and others) he will likely behave the same way. If he sees his father being disrespectful and/or abusive there is a good chance he will repeat that behaviour. Similarly, if a young girl hears her mother gossiping and saying nasty things about others (usually other women), she will likely copy that behaviour as a child and adult.
So, what is the answer? Early intervention. There are pros and cons to daycare and kindergarten but I do see it as a chance to socialize kids and teach them respect for each other. It can help counterbalance any bad influences at home. To paraphrase an old saying, “Give me the child until they are seven, and I will give you back the adult.”
Shared to FB. Everyone needs to see this. He deserved worse. Piece of shit had it coming and then some. As a man and not a boy, I’m just as sick of guys treating women with disrespect as anyone. All women should respond to this treatment in this way. Then maybe these entitled assholes would start thinking twice about what they say before this shit comes leaking from their brains. Crass inbred morons…
Also, of course I believe her story. It sounds exactly like what some of the idiots of my gender would think was funny to get a reaction, and you doubt her because she described her drink? It’s because she was looking forward to it and had to waste it on this losers face. She was disappointed and expressing that disappoint through her story. God, is it really that hard to believe?