You may all think this bitch is about someone who, perhaps, is good at Blackjack. Or maybe someone who always beats me at a game of hoops. Guess again.

To the inconsiderate arsehat on the bus today, learn some friggin manners. The window seat to the INSIDE of you was the only one comfortably available to anyone and you decided you owned it. Bad enough you didn’t move aside for me, but that didn’t bother me so much. OK, it did; not because I had to stand, but because you showed such a lack of courtesy. I seriously thought about clouting that ugly wtf-stained touque of yours off your head when you sat there with your head down as the young lady got on at the next stop. If I see you tomorrow morning on the bus, I will make sure you move over. And you’ll feel like the biggest idiot in the world when I make my point. Or better yet, how about you just stay home? There is no place for you in my world, nor in the world of my fellow commuters. —Jonnoman

This article appears in Mar 10-16, 2011.

Join the Conversation

92 Comments

  1. A-1 Bitch Johnnoman. The worst thing about when sebastard makes his cuntish comments about the joy that is Mesozoic Transit is, there’s no real rebuttal. If some urban babboon (thanks El Jefe) can’t respond to, or even recognize basic manners I’d say you are free to choose your own rules of engagement.

    Reply
  2. Reply
  3. Reply

  4. Seriously though! I gave him the stink-eye- ESPECIALLY when he put his head down and awkwardly shifted about when the girl got on at the next stop. What made matters worse is that he is not even a regular! First time I ever saw him on the bus and he is hogging seats to himself while those of us who could easily identify 85% of the other commuters if seen in public were left to stand at 6 in the morning.

    And this isn’t just the internet tough guy in me talking either. Dude’s got something coming to him if he thinks he can continue his behavior! I’ll politely ask everyone to step off for a moment and then………

    http://www.chinasmack.com/wp-content/uploa…

    Reply
  5. Reply

  6. Haha Ivan, every MT commuters dream.

    Speak up next time! Tell him to move his ass! And if he doesn’t climb over him!

    … always works for me (yes, I’ve climbed over people to get the seat beside them — not because I minded standing but to make a point) 🙂

    (also: it makes me sad that jerkfaces like that take the 21. That route is always so “friendly” and the ‘regulars’ are almost like a little group of awesome. No need for douches on the 21!)

    PS: jonno, this reminds me — I discovered a CD yesterday you might like (a lot) — Remind me to give you a copy next time I see you 🙂

    Reply

  7. No room for n00bs on the 21. That’s what I say.

    And even though I don’t take it to work, I’m allowed on because my lovely mother’s a hardcore regular. She was even asked about when she missed three weeks of commuting!

    I’d take it over my 35 if a) my 35 monday driver wasn’t so dreamy and the tuesday-friday driver wasn’t full of awesome and b) the schedule was a little more PK-friendly.

    Reply
  8. Reply

  9. I SO thought it was gonna be the sax guy….
    that bloody riff is still stuck in my head.
    GRRRRRRRRRRR

    Reply

  10. Actually, I posted one of the tracks on my FB (middledistancerunner) you can check out in the meantime 🙂

    Reply

  11. All this talk of hot bus drivers lately, did I miss Pon Farr or something?

    Sorry, the nerd in me just had to come out.

    Reply

  12. Ever notice how not one person has anything good to say about riding the public transit (gag). On a good note, the dealerships are gearing up for Summer with some great rebates on new 2011s. 🙂

    Reply

  13. I like taking public transit to and from work. I actually look forward to my morning commute.

    So you can suck it, sebastard. I’d tell you WHAT you can suck, but you’d probably cry homophobia.

    Reply

  14. isn’t that just about the time, that you would love to have a huge fucking stinky fart, ready to let go. or, just do as i do, say excuse me, then start to sit down, fuck them, whether they want to move or not. either they do, or i sit on their fucking head.

    Reply

  15. hey jonno, let me know what fucking bus this asshole is on, i’ll give you and everyone a show to remember.

    Reply

  16. PDG & Suckster going through Ponn Far ate the same time?
    Surely this is one of the portents of the End Times >; )

    Reply

  17. now, now pussy girl, be nice. and he probly already did. spaking of cars, i’m thinking about selling my big dreamboat. first 15 grand gets her. she has less than 70,000 miles on the odometer. an american classic, in canada. never winter driven, and always serviced promptly. 2 door with everything, including built in phone thru stereo.

    Reply
  18. Reply

  19. OMFG that picture is disturbing. Quick, someone give sebastard a bag of ice; I suspect he’ll be overheating.

    Reply

  20. you likeeeeeee jonno. one of my friends and i. taken from a distance, and i’ve had 10 offers already on the lincoln, wheeeeeee.

    Reply
  21. Reply
  22. Reply
  23. Reply

  24. Take a picture with your phone! Then post it to facebook. Thats what I do with asshats like that.
    If you’d like feel free to join my facebook group – “Metro Transit Douchebags”
    I consider it therapy 🙂

    Reply
  25. Reply
  26. Reply

  27. well that was interesting…oh look monkeys^^why do i click on suckster’s avatars? those ladies be all kinds a crazy pk

    Reply

  28. I almost peed myself laughing at that bread lady! haha. Great way to perk up an otherwise boring/drab day (with WAY too much time spent on here lol) :D!

    Reply

  29. Oh my heavenly father … I just clicked the avatar. It’s such a trap cause you can’t see that in the little pic.

    Reply

  30. pretty kitty, I’m pretty sure my brother is your bus driver (route 21)!! Blue eyes, dark hair, slim build?! I know he did the route yesterday at rush hour!!

    Reply

  31. I just ignore seb for the most part.

    You know how they say people look like their pets …

    Reply

  32. OB…why didn’t you just tell him to move ?
    (see what I did there ?) don’t ask the guy, tell him…move over ,or move out of the way , please.
    I read all the posts & see you say you
    “gave him the stink eye”.
    Bet that hurt.
    What time is it…5:38 .He’s probably just waking up from all the morphine the doctors had to give him to handle that kind of pain !
    I’m having trouble telling who’s the bigger asshole, you or him .

    I’ll wait & see if this brawl between you happens on a bus tomorrow…IF its a fight on a Bus it’ll make the Horrid…but I won’t hold my breath.

    Reply
  33. Reply

  34. momo: rush hour going TO work or coming HOME? I’m on the 21 coming home, only.

    ralmn: That’s not a metro transit video. It would be HILARIOUS if it was, but no, it’s probably from out west. I got it off of dartmouthy’s facebook group 😛

    I know it’s awful but… so frigging hilarious at the same time.

    I’m a very bad person 🙁

    Reply

  35. I’m pretty sure you likes my bro hahahaha…he was driving the 21 yesterday until at least 6pm
    wow, what a small world.

    Reply

  36. Hey suckster. Did you go all postal on the bus on Barrington around 5pm today. I seen it pulled over and there were cop cars and all the passengers were being moved to another bus. Lol. Is all I could think of was my fellow bitchers.

    Reply

  37. no, tweren’t moi. i was here sitting on my beautiful ass all day. kitty, do you still like monkeys after that. like i saidyou have to look close. and donk, ghetto, seriously fucking not. top of the line lincoln cool in 96-97.

    Reply
  38. Reply

  39. Are people too pansy to ask for a seat? “Can I sit there?” Unless I’m getting off in a couple minutes I’m sure as hell not standing with a bunch of empty seats. Granted, if I see a couple empty seats at the front I’ll leave them for old people, because I’ll be getting up anyways to offer it to them. Fuck some people (not just young) have no respect or decency on the bus.

    Reply

  40. Oh, look. Another bus bitc-

    Kidding!
    Make them move, Jonno. There’s a sub shop near me and people stand betwixt the doors on cold days, getting the hell in the way of normal door operation. Worst part is I am (obviously) working the door myself(since it’s in hand and opening), then they step in front of me to hold the second door for me, maaking me run over their toes, because they are standing in the door now.
    At first I tried to make uncomfortable conversation “Oh, sorry, I got that, could you move a little to the left, don’t want to run over your toes, yes that’s it, sorry for the trouble…”.
    Now I just go through as fast as I can. They move.
    They always move Jonno. Put yer arse down and they will move.

    And Sucker. Nice monkey wang in your avatar. Sebastian wanted me to tell you that.

    Reply

  41. well ivan, the big white beast has moved to truro. 25 grand in my pocket cash, ya- fucking- hoo.

    Reply

  42. “cool in 96-97.” = ghetto.

    I feel like I need to quote this

    “Biggie Biggie Biggie can’t you see
    Sometimes your words just hypnotize me
    And I just love your flashy ways
    Guess that’s why they broke, and you’re so paid”

    Reply
  43. Reply
  44. Reply

  45. The way I see it, first of all, it’s first thing in the morning and it’s on a bus full of commuters who are all pretty “regular”. This is the first time I have ever seen this guy and I usually end up standing anyway. If dude wants to be a prick and act like he owns everything in a 2-foot radius, so be it. He is only making himself look bad. If he makes a repeat appearance and continues this behavior, then I say something about it. Besides, who knows how he’ll react… don’t need to disrupt people at 6 in the morning if I don’t have to.

    Overall, it’s simply a question of respect and courtesy. People that show no respect don’t go very far in life. While this guy doesn’t even deserve the air it’ll take to produce the sound of my voice pointing out his rudeness, I DO also have to take a stand for my fellow commuters. Anyway, he wasn’t on the bus today and there were plenty of seats.

    Reply
  46. Reply

  47. I get what you’re saying, jonno — but… wouldn’t a simple “could you please move over?” or “do you mind moving over?” in a courteous way work instead of seething your entire commute in? It’s maddening, sure — I get irritated when asshats do this, but if it came down to the fact that I was standing and that was the only seat, I’d say something — politely at first, of course, and ramp up the assertiveness if they didn’t respond favourably. I’ve asked plenty of people to move their bags and I’ve even asked if people would mind switching over one seat so I could sit beside my mom when we’re riding together and so far I’ve only had positive responses. Maybe it’s my sunny disposition, or my adorable little self, who knows? But I’m sure you could pull it off too. Who could say no to our cute little jonno? LOL

    Reply

  48. I was really hoping he was on this morning…
    Then again, I found my shitty little ipod this morning so I was still entertained.

    Reply
  49. Reply

  50. double damn jonno. i put out 1,000 ringons on you, valued at about 300 earth bucks. and ivan, quaatlus, i thought they went out with the euro? oooops, did i just make a mistake in saying that, oh well, you never heard that from me. just wait tho, 2036 will be here soon enough.

    Reply

  51. Damn… sorry to disappoint y’all. How about I make up for it by serenading you with the saxophone solo from Careless Whisper? Triple-Z will provide my introduction.

    Reply

  52. Obviously all the Zune’s were sold out with zed went to purchase one. Because they’re just FLYING off the shelves. *cackle*

    Reply
  53. Reply
  54. Reply
  55. Reply

  56. I once paid thirty silver coins to the Romans so that they would come and take away my boss. Funny story really…… he claims he saw it coming but I beg to differ. Says his Dad told him about it but truth be told, I never saw the guy even ONCE. He always claimed he was talking to him, although unless he had some kind of miniscule blue tooth action going on or his Dad was invisible, I think he was a lunatic.

    Reply
  57. Reply

  58. Hahaha that was great, Ivan. I’m home siiiiiick today with nuthin’ but time, and that’s the first thing that made me lol all morning!

    Reply
  59. Reply

  60. Awwwwww that kitteh is soooooooooo sweet. Sick kitties really tug at my heartstrings!

    I’m just really kinda miffed because I had a plan for today which is now, obviously foiled. But I’m sitting here under the covers in mah comfy bed with my 8 puffy pillows and two puffy kitties and a glass of chocolate milk, so all’s right with the world, for now 🙂

    Reply
  61. Reply
  62. Reply
  63. Reply
  64. Reply

  65. they lock everything down every chance they get…
    their products are over-priced for what you get….
    they make it so you have to void a warrenty if a battery dies…
    thus they want to make their crap disposable so you need to keep re-buying the same regurgitated garbage from them.

    and they smell.

    Reply

  66. Well, I definitely agree on the “disposable” factor to a point…

    Ipods are not life-long products. Probably a skewed comparison, however, my parents bought an hitachi tv back in 1990. Up until two years ago when they traded “up” for their 42 inch flatscreen that was the main tv. It’s since been passed onto me and is set up in my room. And honest to FUCK the sound and picture quality is just as good, if not better than their flatscreen HD. When the cable guy came to hook us up he was actually shocked at the quality and sound and said it was better than some HDTVs he’s been setting up) THAT is a quality, life-long product. Ipods, on the other hand… not so much. They’re designed to have a “turnover” of a few years. My first ipod lasted about two years. I replaced it with my current one, which, two years later still works fine, but I know I’ll have to replace it in a year or so. Ironically, I passed on my old ipod to my mom when her shuffle went on the fritz and the fucker works fine now. *shrug* So I totally believe (Apple) builds in a shelf life for SOME of their products.

    HOWEVER, my macbook is the oldest computer I’ve ever had (laptop, that is). And it runs just as fast as the day I took it out of the box, and the battery lasts just as long. With tax, my parents (yes my parents bought it for me as a grad gift, so suck it all y’all haters!) paid about $1500. My last laptop, a PC lasted 18 months before it ended up with damage beyond its worth at that point (of no fault of my own). Its retail price, with tax was about a grand. Already, the macbook is well on its way to being cheaper than that PC. If all goes the way I think it will, I won’t have to acquire another macbook for another 2-ish years. That’ll give me almost 4.5 years of use out of this.

    I understand the fact that you can get “more” for the money, and I was a total apple hater back in the day and figured they were overpriced, but after experiencing the absolute joy it’s been to use a macbook over the past 2.5 years, I’m a total convert. The quality of product they’ve provided me is quite high and that, to me, is worth paying for. I’ve always maintained my computers well, and I’ve always had more problems with every PC I’ve had than I care to count.

    And that’s my point of view on the whole thing 🙂 (though, I will admit, I have a pretty bitchin’ brand new PC at work which is also a joy to use, so at least I don’t hate on PC, even though THEY’RE the ones that smell!)

    Reply

  67. I like Mac … to an extent. My comp. brings all the boys to the yard, and they’re like that apple is rad. Fo’ reals. If they made cars I’d drive one. No, that’s a lie, but I still like apples … but I hate mac bitches and I feel like pc, if in the hands of the right user could do just as well.

    Reply

  68. Leave my mu’fuckin bitch alone y’all. Hijack someone else’s bitch, but not mine. Especially if you’re going to praising Mac books. PC’s where it’s at…… Haha- your comp brings all the boys to the yard eh Donk? You sure it’s the comp?

    I don’t even know what I am saying anymore and don’t really give a fuck. Time to go home.

    Reply
  69. Reply

  70. Mac is def much sexier than PC. I drive a PC, the bf drives a Mac… and it turns me on. If I had one myself, I’d never get anything done. Ha ha.

    Reply
  71. Reply

  72. i deal with two macs and a very old pc that runs intuit…i think overlap is required with any system

    Reply
  73. Reply
  74. Reply

  75. Getting there PK sweetie. Staying in Truro at the moment… the commute in the death-mobile is quite scary… hoping to move soon… as soon as I find a landlord with a heart of gold…. >giggle<

    Reply

  76. the rig went earlier today, guy dropped off the cash, picked up linc. on a flat deck, and took my baby to truro. didn’t want to sell her. but needed the cash for something really important to me. it involves a nursing home, and a life long friend of mine. other than that, she would still be in her garage.

    Reply

  77. Haha…. ok Drunk Donk. I would definitely do your comp. But I might not call it the next day.

    And PK- such harsh words! Especially when YOU were instrumental in hijacking my bitch! 😛

    Reply

  78. Yay for Drunk Donk! All ready for the big night ahead?? I have to work all day, but I’m hoping to squeeze in somewhere shortly after 5 😀

    Nothing wrong with a hijacked bitch, jonno. I think we covered all the relevant bases, not time to chatter aimlessly.

    Anyone have exciting plans for this evening??

    Reply

  79. I still hate all things crApple.
    I’ve had a laptop working for 7 yrs, nary an issue.
    granted, it’s an underpowered P4 but still surfed and streamed just fine.

    I’m pretty sure these people prefer apple because it’s not as highly targeted by the virus community. If you know how to build/use a computer properly, you are simply throwing your money away buy buying apple. So call be biased. I’m still allowed to have my opinion.

    and jonno, there was another seat-mc-douche today. I thought you were going to go postal… but I guess since you found another seat free, you were ok with it.

    Reply

  80. Was there? How did I miss this one? I was only looking below and, of course, it was one of those stupid busses where everyone is facing each other. I try not to look to the upper level of the bus because those two health professionals that sit together and gab always look at me funny.

    Reply
  81. Reply

  82. Exactly, z3. When they released the specs for the new macbook, I was like “I could buld a better computer than that for that price”.

    Reply

  83. “And PK- such harsh words! Especially when YOU were instrumental in hijacking my bitch! :-P”

    Don’t test me today, boy!

    Interestingly, I had a dream last night and you and zed were in it (actually a nightmare, but that doesn’t relate to your appearance — well. not THAT much). NGF was there too. He was being obnoxious. It was during nightmare three of four during last night’s repose.

    FML.

    Reply

  84. Oh thank God you said something about dreams because I’ve had a dream of Hugo and was hesitant to say anything, lol. We were in Italy at a Shakira concert and later we played soccer in the world Cup for the Italian team … yeah, I don’t even know.

    “Exactly, z3. When they released the specs for the new macbook, I was like “I could buld a better computer than that for that price”.” Then why don’t you? Huh huh huh B?

    Reply

  85. I would.. but really the only power I need in a computer I could build from an irish friendly computer store down on Queen for about $450.
    I’d surely rather have 3 new, working computers for the price of one macrapbook.

    Reply
  86. Reply

  87. I would pay kind sir … if only I could afford it.

    Oh and dream Hugo also spoke Italian, soooooooooo get working on that 😀

    Reply
  88. Reply
  89. Reply
  90. Reply

  91. LOL, donk.

    Actually, zed, you bring up a really great point about “the only power [you] need in a computer.” I’ve always said people are over buying. For years! For what the average user uses their computer for… and what’s out there today… I’d say they could do with half or less of what’s available spec-wise.

    Though, I’m big on my computers running fast and not lagging so I’d likely be apt to over buy in that department to ensure it’s fast. However, a lot of that too is helped by the fact that I don’t clutter my computers up with a lot of junk. I like to keep everything nice and neat and tidy.

    Reply
  92. Reply
Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *