It takes a lot of energy to fight off depression (both physical and emotional), a lot more than people think. If you’re sad, people call you a ‘Negative Nancy’ or ‘Debbie Downer’. If you strain happiness to fit in people think you’re fake, or you come off as trying too hard. There’s no happy medium. Sometimes you just have to welcome the comforting warm embrace of manic depression. I don’t believe anyone besides those who suffer understand that there is a peace and comfort to be found in depression.
Please be understanding, and don’t judge those who are dealing with their personal issues. Sometimes there isn’t even a reason for it, just an unstoppable force of depression rolling over you, and I feel that’s what people understand the least. Someone who smiles everyday, is healthy, wealthy and wise may just be hiding their inner turmoil. And that don’t help nobody. —Whistling Into The Night
This article appears in Jan 24-30, 2013.
Embrace the misery.
It’s much easier than doing something about it.
Frees you up for a lot of down time for all the thinking, drinking, and continual sinking.
Sink or swim, it’s ultimately a choice, albeit a difficult one.
Don’t like swimming anymore, OB? Then join the Captains Fleet! Where sinking is our specialty!
I think our next upgrade should be to get an aircraft carrier that’s shaped like an iceburg,…
just a suggestion.
Excellent. That’ll be quite effective during our deep water espionage missions. They won’t even see us coming… Or….. they will, but they won’t know it’s us.
We can solve the problem of trying to land aircraft on it later… once we can actually secure some aircraft.
OP I feel your misery. Depression is a very serious and exhausting problem. I have family very close to my heart who struggle with it everyday. To those who tell you to put on a happy face or that you always have a choice, I say shit on you. You know nothing about debilitating depression. Yes it may help occasionally to try to rise above it but even medication cannot do all that it promises it can. My best advice is to accept it as a part of your life and know that there will be good days and not so good days. Some days you will feel triumphant and some days you will feel lower than a snake’s belly. The important thing to remember though is: this too shall pass. On days that you are low just accept it as being just that. It will pass. There will be good days again. Then there will be the bad ones. I guess we each have our own crosses to bear. Good luck finding good mental health OP.
I agree, wogdog. And that doesn’t happen often.
This is a serious bitch. Not a jab at bus drivers or some other tripe. I’ve said before, depression is not only serious, but a very prevalent issue in society these days.
What can we do?
I hope this bitch wasn’t directed at me or the love I wrote the other day. I in no way intended to trivialize depression or the feelings of those who suffer with the illness. I know what it’s like to suffer with depression and know how hard it is to admit it and make the decision to get help (i.e speak to somebody and deal).
I really just intended to show love to someone I felt needed a little love in their life. It seemed as though every bitch or love posted on the board had a negative reaction from that person of some kind and I wanted to basically say that although it may feel like everything is terrible, someone does care.
So, I do know how serious this illness is and how hard it is to overcome. I hope I didn’t offend anyone. That was never my intention.
I don’t believe it was aimed at you, PurpleFire.
It’s the S.A.D. time of year, so it’s quite possibly just a coincidence. Your Love was well intentioned, I cannot see anyone having to write a Bitch in defense to what you wrote.
Sonic says, depression isn’t real. It’s all just a big shortcoming in the control department. There are no excuses for negativity.
Harper, calm down buddy. At least let me post before you fabricate an argument. I pity you again.
“Dear Life,I hate that I am in complete control of you and can make any positive change I want, I just lack the motivation to change and make an improvement.
You asshole life,
Screaming Fields of Sonic Love”
Your pity is wasted on me. I do not want nor need your pity. Apparentlyl you depressed people are just lazy and unmotivated.
Easy, control boy. Own what you say, and wear it with pride!!!!!
Oh Harper, moving on……………..
PS- You spelled apparently wrong, damn you typo’s!!!!
PPS- The two arguments we have been involved in you have ended up saying I was right, why are you flogging a dead horse? Can’t stand being wrong?
PF …and your letter did cheer me up.Again,thank you. 🙂
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Yes it may help occasionally to try to rise above it but even medication cannot do all that it promises it can. My best advice is to accept it as a part of your life and know that there will be good days and not so good days.
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That was very insightful, Wogdog. The whole post was well-written, and I agree with everything you wrote.
I once had a family member tell me to “shake it off”. Talking to shrinks didn’t help until my mind was able to put it in whatever way was needed to put the issue to bed and Let Go.
Good luck, OB. Be true to you, and cut yourself a break when you can. You’re being Human. 🙂
PisP
PF BTW OP of this letter sounds passive aggressive.
Why would someone make light of such a serious illness?Read the Obituaries everyday,keep track of the number of young people who died for no reason.Some suicide survivors(loved ones) won’t state how their loved one killed themselves . Granted not all are from suicide,even one is too many.
Dear, OB: 🙂
(Sent that bitch a smiley face. Depressed bitches love smiley faces.)
Biscuit That 🙂 you sent OP made me smile.:)
Med.’s can help keep the black dog’s at bay.that’s not always the case.pysc.med’s can make you a lot more ill.
Steve “Sonic says, depression isn’t real. It’s all just a big shortcoming in the control department. There are no excuses for negativity.”
If a person needs reasons to be negative, elaborate on yours? 🙂
You are always right, Control Boy. Careful backing out your driveway.
Tee hee Sonic Tee Hee.
“Med.’s can help keep the black dog’s at bay.that’s not always the case.pysc.med’s can make you a lot more ill.”
Especially if you’re put on the wrong one.
One in 5 suffer from some sort of mental illness, you are definately not alone. Hope things get better for you.
Harper, nowhere did I say depression isn’t real. I did however point to the fact that alot of people spend their energy bitching and complaining instead of trying to improve their situation. Then there are also alot of people that just seem to enjoy feeling sorry for themselves and think the world owes them something. If your not happy in life and lack the motivation to change or make an improvement, why wake up? Smiles can spread very easily, so can bad moods. The pressures of the expectation of modern society seem to have a very negative influence on alot of people, but you have the power to change that, we all do. Life events and changes that may precipitate depressed mood include menopause, financial difficulties, job problems, relationship troubles, separation, bereavement, and catastrophic injury. Most of those causes can be rectified if you have the motivation to improve your life and stop feeling sorry for yourself. I also did not say all, but most of the causes. You don’t know what caused the OB’s mood on this thread or the other one I had originally commented on, but the wording of both Bitch’s didn’t really point me towards grief, menopause or catastrophic injury.
Oh, so there are some situations where you will afford some leway. How compassionate of you!! Do they have to have a doctors note?
Careful backing out your driveway.
Tee hee Sonic Tee hee.
I like Paul’s advice….
“cut yourself”
Harper, I made a statement on another thread based on the Bitch that was posted. It reflected that Bitch and only that Bitch, hence why I wrote it on that Bitch. It was a statement that I felt was relevant in that scenario in my opinion (everyone has one by the way). You cannot make that into an umbrella statement that covers everything, thats lunacy. Now, I don’t argue with crazy people on the street so I must stop doing it online.
Psychiatry is a huge fraud – stay away from the meds, they’re very toxic, they lower lifespan and don’t work. The world can be a shitty place at times, people annoying, circumstances don’t go your way, feelings get hurt. But these days pass and there are good days too. My advice is eat right and make sure you get all your vitamins, especially the B’s and vitamin D, get lots of sleep and get out for a walk daily to blow the stink off ya.
Oh, so the backing out your driveway comment was for every comment dealing with driving? You fucking hypocrite!!!! If there is a set of rules, there is one set of rules for everyone. If you crosspost things that I say on a certain post, I am an asshole for doing it? If you want this to be over. It’s over. From here on. It starts and ends with you. Go read my post on the elevator bitch.
Mr Harper, I was just trying to let the OB know that when its extremely icy and snowy out, you must take care when operating a motor vehicle. Especially when there is a lack of salt for traction which could impede the stopping of a vehicle. I’m sorry that you thought it was directed at you, I just believe in safety first and like to spread the word. If someone is in a car accident they could get depressed about it, and we must try and avoid these situations at all costs.
If they’re lowering the life-span… then they’re working.
A shorter release to end suffering sounds like it works alright.
Over!!!!!!!!!
I battled depression every minute of every day for years. For some people, the goods days don’t actually come. I eventually practically forgot what happiness even felt like. This is chemical depression. I thought it was situational for a while until I made every change in my life that I thought was contributing to it and yet it still persisted. In this situation, no matter what changes you make to try to make yourself feel better nothing seems to. I had a pretty severe case and it took a lot of strength for me to bite the bullet and go on medication for it as I didn’t want to simply mask my feelings. However since giving it a try I’m so glad I did and wouldn’t go back on it for the world.
Well done, Mr. Button.
It was obviously a tough choice for you, yet, here you are.
Psychiatrists and psychologists these days can’t/don’t want to or care about money too much to spend the time with a “client”(lol) to help heal or manage their illness, en order for the patient to live a fairly “normal” life.Professionals slap a label on them and write a prescription to get the patient out of the office.They’re paid per patient and get kick backs from big pharm. co.
I’ve seen people(mostly woman),enter the mental health system with a simple depression re:spouse death,?.Put on drugs, they didn’t need or the wrong drugs;ending up drugged in a Therapeutic Room of a men.hos.,with a label on their forehead.Fucked up for life!!
People don’t think about mental illness.I don’t really know why.People fear what they don’t understand?
It doesn’t effect just the patient but.It can tear apart even the most loving family.
Sure I’m sure there must be good doc’s out there who care enough not to make an illness worse.Or doc’s who can admit wrong doing then help fix their mistake.
Too many doc’s have a god complex and/or who are narcissistic themselves. Good luck trying to get one of them admitting any mistakes with your care.
It can be quite traumatizing to be diagnosed with a mental ‘illness’ or ‘disability’
That’s your brain we’re talking about. The organ that filters everything… your view of the world must pass through it, so if somethings not right with it… it can be very disconcerting.
The solution? They’re not always an illness, or disease, or disability, even if they may be labeled as such. These issues are just differences. Differences in the way we think and perceive the world.
Cap. Your correct in a way.It’s not always the way you,yourself view the label.It’s others who stigmatize you that can really do a “mental patient” harm.Your loved ones and the professionals who are supposed to be there to help you who can/do stigmatize you the most by “labeling” you.That “label” follows you, for the rest of your life.
“That “label” follows you, for the rest of your life.”
Until you ditch it. When you’re not worried about the labels people apply to you, that’s when they lose their effectiveness.
If someone labels you, that’s just their opinion, so fuck ’em.
It’s not that the label makes “you” behave badly but the people around you treat you badly then you become defensive. It has a snowball effect on your life.
If your known for one thing it’s hard to change others attitudes of you.Especially if they’re uncomfortable or not understanding of the label attached to them.
**I must admit,my own life has been great lately,despite the copious amounts of stress in my life. 🙂 :)**
Cognitive therapy is very useful and combined with the right meds can kick that big black dog right in the nutsack.
ttfn, is there anyone in ns who does ct?
Anti-depression medication is neither a panacea nor an evil. It can be a bit of a crap shoot to find the right medication at the right dosage for the right person. Brain chemistry differs slightly between people and it takes a little “experimentation” to find the combination despite what doctors might say. This is if you need a drug at all. Some people do, others not so much.
I tried Paxil once and experienced heart palpitations and “ghosting” images in the perpheral vision. I stopped taking it immediately. Effexor, on the other hand, has few side effects (to me). These drugs alter your brain chemistry so if you try to get off them, you may have issues. A lot of things to consider.
CBT Can help only when done by a competent psychologist or therapist.
Paxil=Poison.
Paxil saved my life, and I stopped taking it the second it wasn’t needed any more.
Anything in the right quantities is “poison”.
PisP
Thank God Paxil helped you.I mean that. 🙂
It was like poison to me not because I took too many,my body hated it.
“meds… don’t work.”
For you, maybe.
Mine work just fine, thanks very much. For the first time in my life I have energy, motivation and an actual semblance of concentration.
I actually feel good about life.
And, since I’ve been on them, my health has improved — my blood sugars are lower, my insulin intake is lower and I’ve lost weight.
So please speak for yourself, no_fool, and frig off with the sweeping generalizations.
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Thank God Paxil helped you.I mean that. 🙂
——-
It helps lots of people. Other
Things help others. Everyone is different, different things work for different people.
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It was like poison to me not because I took too many,my body hated it.
——-
Then don’t say “Paxil=poison”. It ignores the fact it works for many people. Onions are poison for my buddy. He avoids them.
Pisp
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If your known for one thing it’s hard to change others attitudes of you.Especially if they’re uncomfortable or not understanding of the label attached to them.
——-
As my good friend the Captain says, Fuck em.
Their opinion isn’t the problem, it’s your reaction to it.
Ignore the assholes.
Embrace the cool people.
Go to sleep.
Wake up.
Give yourself a break.
Repeat.
PisP
“Their opinion isn’t the problem, it’s your reaction to it.
Ignore the assholes.
Embrace the cool people.
Go to sleep.
Wake up.
Give yourself a break.
Repeat.”
My intellectual brain knows your 100% correct.It’s my fucked up mind that tells me not to buy into it.
It’s not always my reaction to their opinion but their reaction to me.
“Taming Your Inner Gremlin” by Rick Carson. Google it.
Your “fucked up mind” isn’t your real voice. By listening to it, and believing what it says is true, you *are* choosing to be affected by their “opinions”. And their “opinions” are only big and important in your head. Stop caring what they think about you, because they most likely don’t spend any time conspiring against you. It’s *your* opinion of you that’s fucking you up, not their’s.
PisP
I remember as a teenager , purple microdot always put me in a really great mood !
As a matter of fact , I don’t remember being down if it was blotter either or orange double barrel …. So yeah, I guess all ‘med’s’ might not be bad ~:p
did it ever occur to you that maybe you ARE bringing them down but refusing to allow them to escape your negativity? I get what you’re saying op but you can’t forget there are other people in the world too.
Negative energy is draining and your friends and family are probably exhausted but sticking by you anyway. that’s something.
Thanks PisP I’m looking for that book.
eats. Your right.It is also exhausting to be negative all the time.When your a child it becomes a copping mechanism to keep from getting hurt.