The aunt from hell

Let me get this straight. You’ve relied on help from my mother since you stupidly popped out a kid you couldn’t care for when you were fifteen years old. She’s given you money, helped raise your oldest child, helped you find a job and even let you live with her when you were going through some hard times. Of course she did all of this selflessly, she is your sister after all. After your divorce you met a guy who lavished you with gifts but was a real sleaze bag. You brought him to my mother’s place, introduced them, even went on lots of outings together. My mother doesn’t like the guy but she says nothing because she just wants you to be happy. After a few months you sit down with my mother and tell her how poorly this guy treats you; how he’s possessive, jealous and has a bad temper. Finally, after several of these conversations, you tell her you broke up. My mother, in support of you, openly agreed that the way he treated you was not what you deserved. Sure, she used some select, colourful language to describe him but what woman wouldn’t?

Then my mom comes home one day and finds the sleazy dude in your shared house. She quickly learns that you got back together. Knowing what she knows about the guy, she remains polite but keeps him at arms’ length. He runs back to you and says my mom is being a total dick to him. Without taking the time to check with my mom you storm in, have words with her and then cut her out of your life. Furthermore, you start spreading nasty rumours about her to your mutual friends.

WTF!? If you want to date a guy who is on the path to being your abusive husband who likely will end up killing you out of jealousy, that’s fine! Nobody said you couldn’t. But who the fuck do you think you are to treat my mother, YOUR ONLY SISTER, like some second-class citizen after everything that she has done for you?! When you and I end up having a conversation after all of this happens and I probe to see if there is a way to smooth this over you indicate that if she apologizes then maybe you’d consider it. Are you out of your damned mind? You are a foolish, manipulative bitch and I hope that when the day comes that you need my mom’s help again, and you will, that she tells you to blow it up your enormous ass!! —I Wish I Could Punch You in Your Whore Mouth

This article appears in May 31 – Jun 6, 2012.