I’d like to personally thank the granola for mentioning that I looked like an assburger.
I’d like to point out that most who people who do their shopping at that time are whacked becoz
they got off work. Take your bag lady crap feminism somewhere else and leave us
Weirdos in peace. Douches

—dontknowme

This article appears in Jun 4-10, 2009.

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11 Comments

  1. Reply

  2. Are you not using granola figuratively? Because I honestly just pictured two Nature Valley girls dressed up as granola bars, chastising you (in a burger outfit, presumably for BK) for your food choices and hence your douchebagery. Or maybe I’m just fucked.

    Reply
  3. Reply

  4. Why would you even give a sweet fuck about these birkenstock babes? A smile and an extended middle finger is all that’s required.

    Reply
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  6. Did you tell them that they looked like a couple of dykes from a 1980s comedy flick?

    Reply

  7. Wow, I have no idea what this bitch is about. What exactly did the bag lady say to you?

    Reply

  8. You should’ve replied with a rhyme:

    Roses are Red, Violets are Blue
    I’m fucking sick of the sight of you.

    Reply

  9. Dino, you talking about Mayor McCheese?
    he was McDonalds…. I remember because they had a large one in the play area that I frequented.
    ah… good times.

    as for granola,I didn’t learn that was edible until my late teens…

    Reply

  10. Mayor McCheese is the best name ever!!!

    As for the “granolas” I fucking hate them judging you for shaving, purchasing non organic crap and wearing their “hemp.
    hahaha

    Reply

  11. I agree, Z. They used to sell them in plastic baggies back home at Trader Joe’s…I just thought it was mulch.

    Reply
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