I had been a victim of a crime recently & i went to my parents for comfort but all my “Mother” could say is that its my fault that it happened. All i asked for was someone to talk to not someone to make me feel like shit. Thanks “Mom” if I wind up dead it will be YOUR fault.

Unsure if i want to live

This article appears in Mar 20-26, 2008.

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4 Comments

  1. Your mother is an insensitve bitch. As a mom, there is no fucking way I would have told my kid such a thing. Your post reminds me of an old saying: ‘Friends are God’s apology for family’. I hope you have a support network of friends to turn to. Please don’t despair because your mom is a thoughtless jerk. Life really is worth living but give it a chance. Shit happens, try to rise above it and be strong.

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  3. You can’t choose your family, but you can definitely choose your friends…make your own family circle of good friends, and go from there…from someone who had to leave her family behind once upon a time…hang in there, kid 😉

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  4. When I read this my heart really goes out to you, I have been through a sort of similar situation, a few years ago I was attacked by my ex boyfriend (we had been separated and he was not handling that well and though that beating me up was a good way to get us back together ? – still not sure where his head was at) and I was very lucky to live through it. When I went to my family for comfort and sympathy as I was very shaken and was a little panicky afterwards, I was treated indifferently and they were pretty much like “hey if you didn’t date this loser in the 1st place, he never would have beat you up…”Sometiems “I told you so” is best left unsaid… Maybe they were right. Doesn’t matter. When someone you “love” is hurt, even if it is or is not their fault, you care for them, you hold them, you love them. Because that is all the victim is looking for. Affection and reassurance and a soft place to fall. That being said, you control your reaction to life’s events. Don’t let the mean spirited behaviour of your mom get you down, don’t let her have control over you and your happiness. Refuse to let her negativity overwhelm you and as hard as this is I hope there is someone in your life that you can turn to and start to heal with their help. It may sound corny or stupid but sometimes if there is absolutely no one you can turn to vent to or trust, you may find some comfort in writing down your story of what happened, in detail, and then burning the paper to release it and move on. Because you will probably have a good cry and it will hurt but it may be good to get it off your chest and out on paper and then you don’t have to worry about anyone’s reaction and you can destroy it right away so no one can ever laugh at you. I wish you all the best in your recovery.

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