I was looking forward to my microwaveable large butter chicken casserole at work today. Our office lunch room only has so many microwaves and they are always being used at lunch. There’s also a conventional oven that rarely gets used. So I popped my butter chicken in the oven an hour before lunch since it called to cook that long in an oven. Twelve o’clock rolls around, and I walk in to my meal sitting half-cooked on the counter and replaced by some asshole’s frozen pizza cooking in the oven. On top of my butter chicken was a note saying “use the microwave”! Asshole, I put my shit in the oven so I wouldn’t take up 20 mins hogging the microwave when there’s always someone using them! The oven gets used like once a month. And fucking hello, my food was in there first! Wait your fucking turn! Thanks a lot, I had to wait for a turn at one of the microwaves and by the time I was able to get one and cook my meal, lunch was over. I only got to eat a few bites of it, which was soggy and funny tasting, the oven makes this TV dinner so much better. Fuck you, inconsiderate asshole. -ButterChicken Lover
This article appears in Jun 12-18, 2014.
Bad lunchroom ettiquette is the number one cause of workplace shootings in the United States.
Or should be. Never touch another person’s food before it’s done.
Easy, throw his pizza out and put your chicken back in. Just make sure you put the note that he/she wrote on the pizza when you throw it out. If that fails bring an axe to work and use it on all the appliances, that way no one gets lunch and it’s fair.
I would have shouted: ‘Who’s the arsehole that took my chicken out of the oven and threw their fucking pizza in there?’ I always liked a direct approach.
You know, for such a simple rude gesture, it’s speaks so loudly about people today. What would be the thought process that would go through someone’s head to actually remove someone’s lunch from an oven. Who raises somebody with that sort of selfishness. No wonder Louis C.K. has so much material to draw from just from observing today’s world.
Hey stupid cunt, cook your butter chicken at home then bring it to work! Who hogs an office oven for an hour for a dish that could of been cooked at fucking home or in the wave for 10 minutes.
A fucking hour? Uh, hello? Stupid called, it wants its something back.
Better, 20 minutes in a microwave?! Are those EasyBake microwaves they use there?
And butter chicken…?! Wimpy wimpy wimpy! Try Chicken Phall and grow some hair on your balls (then promptly shave them ’cause hairy balls are gross)!
How do you know Frozen Pizza was the one who fucked up your food? That guy could have came later, innocent.
I would’ve taken the pizza out, waited for it to cool a little, and rubbed my bell end all over it.
Bring a fucking sandwich.
Gotta admit, as someone who also has a rarely-used oven in the office kitchen, I’d be pretty pissed if this happened.
Shoulda done them a favor and flipped their pizza for em.
They’d want it cooked evenly, right?
what a prissy little bitch. do you smack your lips when you keep repeating ‘butter chicken’?
pizza eater should have put his pizza along side your ‘butter chicken’ (who the fuck cares what your lunch was?) surely the oven is big enough for both ersatz food items
Time to put operation “Hide Microwaves” in action.
LUNCHTIME FOR THE HALIFAX UNDERCLASS
Microwaving one’s lunch is an indisputable marker that one belongs to the Halifax Underclass. The reason for this is that people who microwave their lunch are to be overwhelmingly found at the margins of society, usually in the fast food and pink collar industries.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
I want butter chicken now 🙂
I know for a FACT that pizza would haves been in the trash , & my butter chicken would have been BACK IN THE OVEN
With me there guarding it….fucking lowlife assholes, I enjoy wiping my feet on them
Next time take the pizza out and leave a note saying, “you use the microwave or wait your turn like every considerate co-worker non-asshole would do.”
Was this a toaster oven? Because that’s the only reason both wouldn’t fit, and if it was, buddy had no right to screw with your lunch.
I’ve had my lunch stolen at work before and I really feel your anger. It’s very maddening to have your lunch fucked with at work.
I wrote a shaming note and put it up in the lunch room. You should do the same.
Alternative would have been to crank the oven temperature up another 150-300 and just walk away. See how someone likes charcoal-flavored pizza.
No sympathy from me. Who works in an office and brings a lunch that takes either 20 minutes in the microwave or an hour in the oven? You do realize that other people also have time restrictions too, right?
You are clearly the inconsiderate one.