I fought the urge to do this as a Bitch for the last 5 days.
Listen, I get it: you weren’t completely head-over-heels in love with me after a couple months. I wasn’t either.
However, the physical relationship was awesome, you told your friends and family about me, bragging what a good guy I was, taking me to meet your best friends, and telling me how much you adored me constantly. You told me no guy had ever treated you like you were beautiful or like you were precious before. And we seemed to really care about each other.
Your answer was to withdraw for the Easter weekend in your apartment and send me an email breaking up with me. You told me how nice I made you feel, and how you adored me but you didn’t want to cry when you told me this to my face. When I emailed back, explaining how I felt, I never received a reply.
No one likes to be rejected. And especially, no one likes to be dumped by something as impersonal as email. I didn’t see us getting married either, you know, but normal people often date for a while anyway when they really enjoy each others’ company, have a great sex life, and care for each other. Maybe you just want some guy to give you a baby. Before you get to that stage with a guy, you need to work out your feelings of negative self worth, that you let guys walk all over you, because a baby isn’t going to fix anything, it’s going to make it more difficult. Not to mention it’s not fair to the guy or the child.
If you find another guy to wants to be with you, but you decide to dump him because an emotionally open and mature relationship scares you off, do him a favour and dump him in person. It will show him a bit of respect and allow some closure for both of you.
The reason this is a love and not a bitch is the day you dumped me I lucked into meeting someone really awesome and we have a date this week. Without you dumping me, I would still be watching you be insecure about the relationship and second guessing everything every week or so. Your insecurity made me feel bad for you, but I thought being there for you with acceptance and love would help you grow out of it and realize you are worth someone loving you. I was really starting to develop feelings for you. But the way you dumped me and refused to acknowledge my feelings gave me closure right away. Good luck dating again. —A Lucky Guy
This article appears in May 5-11, 2011.
And you have a whole bunch of buddies wishing you the best, not that you need our help. We just like to see the good guys win from time to time.
http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.…
Screeeeeee!
Thanks, Ivan!
You knew this was me right away, right?
Rawk!
http://wizard.gamebanana.com/img/ico/spray…
One thing I really believe is that everything happens for a reason, and my GOD, this lady breaking up with you when she did opened up the door to meeting a seemingly wonderful person who’s probably a much better match. You deserve only the best, and you may very well’ve found it!!!
Now when she finds out you’ve already found someone else, she will come running back.
Too late, Fish. It was a one time offer.
Breaking up the way she did and not returning my call shows she made her decision. I’m cool with that.
She’s someone else’s problem now. 🙂
“She’s someone else’s problem now.”
AHAHA <3
Also: this love kind of makes me a bit sad because it just reminds me how things can go from great with someone to complete and utter crap in a matter of… days… or even hours. Which totally blows the big one. *lesigh*
The day before she said she needed to be alone and think, she was telling me how much she cared for me and how great I made her feel. We had a great evening together.
I could see her have moments of doubt over the time we dated, where I know she was insecure about whether someone would/could really care for her. I always reacted by giving her my friendship and affection freely, with no conditions. I thought she would naturally learn to accept someone’s feelings like this and be able to do the same in return.
She’s just not there.
Since she hasn’t made any effort to reply to me I am not not wondering about what she feels nor am I pining for her. In her break up email she made noises about how we should be in touch and friendly, but just like Desert Princess last year, that seems to be a load of shit.
She’s back online dating, so maybe she will start only dating guys who aren’t scumbags from now on.
Has nothing to do with me anymore, and life is too short to get hung up on girls who can’t return something as simple as respect and affection.
On to the next!
I can’t wait.
HAHA people ALWAYS say they want to be friends and keep in touch… that’s just a blow off and is usually why I don’t even pay attention to that noise. And if you DO manage to somehow stay ‘friends,’ they usually cut you off when they meet someone new. heh.
She didn’t know a good thing when she had it. You’re excellent SO material, wheelie 🙂
I dunno, it just makes me sad to think of how things can go to absolute crap with someone you cared about. It’s really the one thing that keeps me quite cautious about bothering with getting emotionally invovlved with someone, both at a conscious and subconscious level. I’m still not sure if the grossness that comes along when a relationship ends is really worth it in the end.
HAHA people ALWAYS say they want to be friends and keep in touch… that’s just a blow off and is usually why I don’t even pay attention to that noise. And if you DO manage to somehow stay ‘friends,’ they usually cut you off when they meet someone new. heh.
She didn’t know a good thing when she had it. You’re excellent SO material, wheelie 🙂
I dunno, it just makes me sad to think of how things can go to absolute crap with someone you cared about. It’s really the one thing that keeps me quite cautious about bothering with getting emotionally invovlved with someone. I’m still not sure if the grossness that comes along when a relationship ends is really worth it in the end.
you are excellent mr. wp…i can tell about these things
mouse ears you guys
Good for you wheelie! I’m glad you found someone new and I’m really glad that you’re smart enough and have enough self worth not to think for a second that it was about you! Because there are so many girls out there who have issues with self esteem and prefer to date losers instead of real men. Someday they will realize their mistake though. But guys like you will be living the “happily ever after” those girls will only get to watch at that movies.
Thank you, RCBear!
I believe she panicked because at 2-3 months in, she wasn’t on the way to having a baby. She wasn’t head over heels in love yet, and she freaked.
I have my own issues, but I am able to give my heart to someone freely.
Time will tell, with everything, as always.
wp
wp you are the man. And I always tell my friends in these situations “she did you a favor” this situation is the prime example of that. op got lucky meeting the next girl the same day, but even if they never see eachother it’s a confidence boost and shows him that he’ll be fine without that other girl. And it goes to show you never know when you might meet someone special, so you shouldn’t stay committed to people you’re not really all that into.
I can relate 100% I think we’ve all been there with the everything going great and coming to a sudden crashing halt for seemingly no good reason. The e-mail dump, no reply and the no closure part is just insult to injury. I’ve been there it really does suck.
“I believe she panicked because at 2-3 months in, she wasn’t on the way to having a baby. She wasn’t head over heels in love yet, and she freaked.”
Yeeeeeah, she’s one of ‘those’ girls. Completely unrealistic expectations. I mean, sure, it CAN happen, but 2-3 months and not on the way to having a baby or head over heels in love? PLEASE. This girl has been watching too many romance movies.
You’re still getting to know each other after 2-3 months! I didn’t even fall in love with the last guy I loved for… oh GOD it must’ve been almost a year after we met.
Anyway, let her go back to guys who treat her like dirt. You’re completely right in saying she did you a favour. Being with someone who’s down on themselves and having to constantly prop them up is exhausting (and so unattractive — confidence is sexy as hell).
Why write about it … unless it’s for a novel …
Yeah, PK, it really is frustrating dealing with women these days. Men too, I’m sure. But it’s like you’re always either not into them enough or you’re too into them. Honesty and transparency just don’t seem to work. Then they wonder why people play games. The attraction/mating process is not a logical one.
You can take it ot leave it, Tommy, but game playing is *never* a way to start a relationship. A few girls back I decided to be completely up front about how I felt.
And dude, dealing with PEOPLE is frustrating. As always, not just these days. Take it in stride. On to the nect.
Life. Is. Too. Effing. Short.
🙂
And btw, my first date with a new girl today was great. She’s really pretty, smart as hell, and has real depth. I woke up a bit nervous about how she would react to the chair and leg, but she knew about them beforehand, and was a blast to meet.
games are fun…board games, card games, twenty questions…mind games are not welcome
Risk is my favourite!
Avoid getting bogged down in a land war in Asia, Donkster. Words of wisdom that apply to just about every facet of life >; )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfWDilXZQEo
BUT IT DOESN’T WORK!!!! Honesty just doesn’t fucking work, even for good girls. The thrill is gone for them when they know they got you, either that or they go into cling mode and start asking questions about “our” future. It’s so hard to find that happy medium, someone who just enjoys your company and can deal with a little bit of uncertainty, and doesn’t need to slap a label on everything. “so are we…?” my name’s Tom, when you refer to me to your friends, just call me by name. Whats so damn hard about that?
Forgive me guys.. But yeah I WP I agree that it’s not a male or female thing it’s a people thing, I usually make that point whenever I hear someone man or woman bashing. Good people are hard to find.
Boy tommy … I dunno where you’re finding these women. They are not a good batch, I suspect outliers.
Fish elsewhere please. That pond is obviously contaminated.
http://www.kflapublichealth.ca/files/news/…
Haha Ivan, I’ll have to remember that!
… I’ll totally be travelling through there one day get offered 3 acres and a Thai hooker (OMG STEREOTYPE, HIDE!) and be like no … Ivan said this was wrong!
http://poprequagmires.webs.com/quagmire.jp…