Anyone care to donate some (preferably unused) plugs to the food bank? I’mm sick to death of my fat uterus eating my money. —a bleeder brokely
This article appears in May 6-12, 2010.
Tampax or bread?
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Well, just think, come july there’ll be no provincial tax on tampons.
There are many ways you can save money in the feminine hygiene dept — buy a diva cup or buy reusable pads. Venus envy has them. Both might not be for all, but if you’re THAT desperate that you’re requesting tampax at the food bank…
Because it’s what? 5 bucks for a box of tampons? OR if you go through them like you bleed like a stuck pig or something, 10 bucks MAX a month for a 40 multi pack. And if you browse the flyers, you can always find sales. I *maybe* spend 5 a month on that shit and I brand name only.
Two words:
wholewheat tampons.
get pregnant and go on welfare no problemo 🙂
A diva cup is a bit of an investment though, PK, mine was like $35. I’m wondering if there isn’t some sort of clinic that would give you some for free, if you are really in the dire straights.
There is always the option to go on birth control and use that to either eliminate your period all together or at least reduce it.
Get yourself a copy of L. Ron Hubbards Dianetics, roll up two dozen pages and voila! You’ve turned something useless into something useful.
Disgusting! Try buying some of those sponges at Dollarama. Pick up a $1 pregnancy test while you’re at it.
ttfn, is that you, just kidding hon. now there is an idea, and maybe even start giving out condoms there too, so that all the young girls going there, with 5 or 6 kids by different daddies, can learn birth control. or am i living in a dream world.
Dave Foley once did a hilarious ‘Kids” monologue all about how “I am completely comfortable with menstruation” I make no such boasts although SOBova loves it when I go tobykeithing around the apartment singing “…and when you staaaart”.
Just kidding, she fucking hates it when I do that. Can’t wait for mentalpause.
or you can do like the homeless and keep those used cigarette butts…
with a little tape, you’re all set.
Diva Cup is a bit expensive but they last for like 5 years. So $35 divided by 5 year = $7 a year. Versus $7 a month. That’s a pretty decent savings. Kinda sucks if you don’t have money in the first place though.
ok, I have NO idea what a Diva Cup is!
Google, HaliwoodGirl, Google. An environmentally friendly alternative to tampons, with a bit more ick factor, but hey, whatever works…
meh, it’s not icky if you’re careful and clean. It’s less icky than ramming chemical soaked cotton wads up your clam. Or sitting on a stinky plastic pad all day.
hollah! exactly – it’s an investment – if you don’t have the start-up capital then you’re kinda screwed.
something tells me you may get a NSFW answer.
Thank god I’m pregnant! Goodbye nastiness for 9 months or more!
and that thing sounds very uncomfortable and reminds me of “Two girls – One cup.” Ew.
Coming soon to Broadway. Whoopi Goldberg and Rosie O’Donnell in ” Andrew Lloyd Webber’s 2Gs, 1C – The Musical”
I Just threw up a little.
I know, ALW is complete gobshite.
Being female is full of nastiness… I’m thinking the delivery room won’t be all glory… but it’s all worth it in the end, so I’m told by dreamy eyed and sleep deprived mothers.
And something tells me 2Gs, 1C won’t be a big revenue producer… maybe you could get Captain Shatner to play the C?
I am so goddamn glad the menopause fairy clanked me on the head with her metal wand – no more fucking jam rags for this old broad, just two boards across my twat that read: ‘Danger – Abandoned Clam Shack’.
I knew someone who made her own menstrual pads out of those cotton cloth diapers. My first thought was gross. But, thinking about it later, I realized that not only had women always done that before disposable, but “It’s less icky than ramming chemical soaked cotton wads up your clam. Or sitting on a stinky plastic pad all day (jennier).” And, after the initial investment, your monthly investment is only what you pay for laundering them. It didn’t cause me to change my own habits but there is certainly nothing wrong with it. The thought of the diva cup makes me a bit nervous–what is it made from? How quickly does the material break down allowing residue or such to release into the body’s system? What if you have a tilted cervix? What are the chances of a ‘spill’?
omfg may i speak on behalf of male bitchers here TOO MUCH INFO ! rasta blood cloth maan 🙂
aaah ttfn i can hardly wait
Replace menstrual with hemorrhoid and I am sure men can relate (although I wouldn’t recommend a tampon or Diva cup for the bleeding = )
It’s pure bliss, paingirl – only drawback – I had to tie my uterus to a rollerskate so it wouldn’t drag on the sidewalk.
watta bout the hot flashes thing that can’t be fun 🙂
Seriously, TTFN, if your uterus had to be ‘tied up’ you had better keep an eye on the rest of your internal organs. My grandmother died horribly when everything fell together in a heap. At 102, they thought there was no point ‘tying’ everything in place since she was so old which condemned her to a torturous last few months. In fact, since her heart and everything else was working perfectly, we basically had to put her out of her misery by increasing her drugs for pain until her pain was gone for good. It was such an awful way to go, if I hit 100 (unlikely), I’ll be sure to have a backup plan.
Fuck, if that happens, I’ll wear a kitchen catcher instead.
As for the hot flashes, I’ll take that over PMS and steel-trap-clamped-on-my-ovaries cramps any day.
Plus you can throw a mean fastball with your tit.
Bread is cheaper (many stores offer discounted 2-packs), easy to shape and is absorbent…. just saying
Ain’t menopause an absolute delight TTFN? (Tepid Twat Forgoes Nookie?) A trade-off really…bleeding, bloating and bitching in exchange for less calamity in the old ‘clamshack’. And once the volcanic hot flashes and the urge to cut the world a new one subside it’s smooth sailing…hehehe!
yea bread instead and after you can make “blood pudding” omfg sorry 🙂
Y’know Marty, coming from a chef, that’s just wrong on so many levels. But still, I’m laughing between the pukes.
Get yourself protected with minimum hormones, get a Mirenal IUS in you! I’ve bought maybe 2 boxes of tampons in 3 years.
Man, people gotta stop shoving shit in their bodies! A menstrual cycle/menopause/aging is inconvenient (often a pain) but waging a bio-war on a natural process can’t be good.
you’re right Colonel Sir the fact something pops into your head doesn’t mean it should be expressed…still it was sickorrific 🙂
I’m pretty impressed at how inconsiderate/uninformed some dude’s responses have been. This is a real issue, hygiene products are a cost women need to consider every month – if you’re in a low-income situation it can be a real problem.
I bought a Diva cup and it needed adjusting to, but I’m glad to save money every month. I wonder if the Sexual Health agencies consider these products a part of ladies’ health?
Ummm I think you mean unimpressed there rachelattack; now let me guess: ultra left wing femanazi with a chip on her shoulder, believes feminine products should be covered by health care plan. Wtf has a womans cycle have to do with “Sexual Health agencies” ???
I wonder how one would get into such a place where they can’t afford (at the very most) $10 per month (and that’s for a big box of them. If you go through more than 30 per month then….frig)on tampons? Maybe don’t have kids/smoke/eat fast food/drop out of school/buy make-up
/drink alcohol/have cable/have internet if you can’t afford an extra $10 per month on something you need.
I’m thinking her co-op organic free range fair trade gay friendly self sustaining hemp farm had a crop failure and now has to deal with oh i don’t know the real world perhaps 🙂 you can only eat so much hemp butter on spelt bread don’t you know 🙂