This article appears in Dec 6-12, 2007.
Sunday Shopping
For christ’s sake when did shopping on Sunday become a crime? I find it quite convenient actually, especially since I work most weekdays, don’t have a car and still need to buy curtains for my house that I moved into 2 weeks ago! But everytime I turn aro
Leave a comment
“I sound like a loser”That about sums it up.
“Hell hath no fury” it seems.Look, I’ll be blunt. You got into a bad place through no fault of your own but it sounds like you are still there even though you now know the truth. He made his choice and married someone else and even if he is a prick you need to move on. It’s simple: YOU ARE THE OTHER WOMAN. He has a wife and now new baby so he’s not likely choosing you over them EVER.Cut up his pictures, burn his stuff, don’t ever speak to him again and find someone else later on. Don’t destroy the new mother’s life at the same time though. Maybe she “should” know but you are waaaay to close to this and it seems a lot like twisted revenge.
Don’t walk – RUN!!! Believe me, honey, you will get over it. I’m in my early 50s and I can’t even remember the names of the dudes that broke my heart. I do remember crying and angsting, thinking my life was over. It ain’t, sweetie – this guy is a bum. Send a letter to his wife and don’t sign it. It’s time she heard what a lowlife she’s married to.
I’ve unfortunately been in a situation like this myself a few years ago. What disgusts me most of all was that I considered that jerk to be my first “love” along with him being my first a lot of things. That is saying something for a girl in her mid-20s. ANYWAY (yeah, there’s still hostility at myself, and him for succeeding in brainwashing stupid, naive me with his constant lies). Dump the ass and try to move on, chaulking it up to experience. It sucks to let him get away with it, and yes I do believe the wife should know the truth, but the drama that will come of telling her will cause you so much stress. It’s just not worth it. BELIEVE me.Hopefully you’ll meet a nice, decent, honest man and have a wonderful future together, as I have found with my current first “love” who isn’t married or engaged to somebody else. Years from now you’ll just look back and laugh. And if you are ever in public somewhere and see the married couple out and about, you can have that little private amusement inside at yourself at what funny things we get caught up in in life, and wonder how you ever fell for him in the first place.
You are a sperm recepticle, nothing more, nothing less.Dump that egotistical asshole.
Ok, I’m going to air my beefs. And it ain’t with the guy. It’s with you. I don’t care what everyone says, but you’re a fucking loser. PERIOD. I met him, fucked him, he treated me like shit, yet I still can’t get over him. He’s cheated with me, then got married and yet I still pine for him. Are you that stupid??????What is it with girls like you who are so stupid? The guy treats you like shit, yet you keep coming back for more. If you want to be treated with dignity and respect, then find someone who will treat you like that. If you put up with shit like you have going on with this guy, then all you’re gonna get is shit. Find some other loser to cry a river to. You deserve what you got because you still refuse to put an end to it. Hell, it’s been going on for more than 2 years!Do us all a favour and stfu.
Turn away. Don’t look back. Don’t call, write or contact him or anyone in his family ever. If he calls, don’t answer – ever! The only person you have to live with is yourself and personally I would not want the guilt of ruining a family to be on my mind. Truthfully, he will get his dues. Maybe not today, tomorrow or in a month, but someday he will and in some twisted unexplanable way you will know and be happy that you had done the right thing. Bottom line: You got invovled in a bad situation through no fault of your own so disown this situation, its not your problem. Free your mind.
10 lbs of crazy in a 5 lbs bag right there. I feel sorry for this guy’s bunny.
I gotta agree with NPTS.OK, so you screwed up. Happens to everyone occasionally but you’re just being a complete doorknob now and have been for some time. WTF does it take to make you understand the situation exactly?You had no real relationship to begin with (in your own words) so get your head out of your arse and get a life instead of crying and moping around like a lovesick 15 year old. It’s annoying and childish.So you had a long term fling that went bad, gosh I guess that makes you the first person in history to make a bad decision. Probably also the first to be so stupid as to continue to worry about this right?It’s over so treat it like that and stop your whining. In the end, keep your advice to his wife out of the picture to. Like it or not, you’re the non-committment, fluff-toy, f-buddy and have zero right to lay any sort of claim to him. He may be a dick but opposed to you at least he’s got a life to ruin. Realise what your role has been in this adult relationship, stop crying and forget the jerk.
What is this Dear fuckin’ Abbey?Cue the violins.We’re really streatching the definition of a Bitch here.Come on Bitches.Keep it Bitchy.
Sweetie, you deserve better. Have some pride and dignity, it’s actually better to be alone and feel good about yourself than to settle for this shitbag who is never, NEVER going to change. You think he’s a hateful prick from time to time? Wait till you see what happens if you tell his wife. I feel bad for her too, but you’re only responsible for her if you KEEP having anything to do with the moron. Walk away now, with your head up.
Is his name James?????
NPFTS, you’re an ass, life isn’t always that black and white..I wish it were.Burned again…your story sucks. If there is one thing I’ve learned, men who start out being assholes like the one you’re talking about will continue to be assholes. Get rid of him. Do it fast. About telling the wife…what a predicament…its not like it was a one night stand…and really I think that if he continued to have an affair after he got married, its quite likely that he’ll do it again with some poor other girl when you dump his ass. Tell her. She deserves to know what a lying cheating piece of shit he is. She should get to know it early on rather than years down the road. Write a letter like DWYT said and include details as to when he was with you so that she can nail his ass to the wall. She needs times and places so she’ll know its true…sign your name, don’t sign your name…thats up to you.
Guess what…if you haven’t noticed this isn’t a “Savage Love” column! Who fucking cares about the mess you got YOURSELF in..you’re a big girl..deal with it!!
Aw, don’t be so hard on her, you guys. Whether you want to admit it or not, most of us have had our experiences with jerks, married or otherwise. My first husband left his wife for me and within a year, he was boning some skanky taxi driver. Sure enough, he cheated on her as well. It was the biggest mistake in my life.Love doesn’t cure anything but you got to love yourself first and once you do that, you’ll realize what a lousy cheating cunt he is. I wish you well, young one, don’t give up hope. No matter how intensely you feel, it will fade with time. As far as his wife goes, she’ll find out soon enough. I’ve lived long enough to know that karma exists. You just have to be patient.
It’s no wonder this chic kept going back to him, women love assholes.Treat ’em rough to get the muff. It’s sad, but true.
What’s next? Ending up pregnant? I don’t know what frustrates more, Women who set feminism back 200 years or women who bring babies into this kind of craziness. Have some pride in yourself. Please.
hey JGOFU:I’ll give you credit. You’re almost as stupid as the original poster. Except one thing, you managed to pull your head out of your ass and move onto another piece of shit man that you so love. No, life’s not so black and white. But in this situation, it’s only black and white. Get with the program. Sugar coating life ain’t gonna cut it. Tell it the way it is, like everyone else has replied. The OP is not some kid who needs a wake up call. They’re an adult with the common sense brain of two year old.The guy may have treated her like shit, but she chose to stay with him while the fucking was good. Even though he treats her like shit and pretty much spit in her face by lying and now getting married, she still wants him. HOW STUPID CAN YOU GET????But since you can’t fathom how simple that is, I’ll nominate both of you for the 2007 Darwin Award.
Thanks for the feedback. My ‘messy situation’ does not fall into the usual category of a ‘bitch’ or rant. But it DID allow me to bitch about what a rotten prick I fell in love with two years ago. I have thought about making a phone call to this guy’s wife, or as some have suggested, to write an anonymous note. His wife makes a six-figure salary and if I were in her position, I’d want to know what my husband was doing behind my back. I have thought about the possible consequences as one poster pointed out, that this guy might react in a very nasty way if I went to his wife and told her everything that has happened. Some people may think I’m a loser but isn’t his wife the biggest loser? His name is not James BTW. If any of the women who have responded would like to get in touch with me maybe that would help me sort this out.
Thanks for the feedback. My ‘messy situation’ does not fall into the usual category of a ‘bitch’ or rant. But it DID allow me to bitch about what a rotten prick I fell in love with two years ago. I have thought about making a phone call to this guy’s wife, or as some have suggested, to write an anonymous note. His wife makes a six-figure salary and if I were in her position, I’d want to know what my husband was doing behind my back. I have thought about the possible consequences as one poster pointed out, that this guy might react in a very nasty way if I went to his wife and told her everything that has happened. Some people may think I’m a loser but isn’t his wife the biggest loser? His name is not James BTW. If any of the women who have responded would like to get in touch with me maybe that would help me sort this out.
You aren’t a loser, honey. You may have made a bad decision staying with this guy but you are not a loser and anyone who says so has the compassion of a drunken gnat. You made a mistake, so now’s the time to learn from it. It’s the people who don’t learn anything from their bad choices that are truly the losers.
Dear burned … Run, don’t walk away from him and his twisted mind. You win because you’re NOT married to this loser. Refuse to have anything whatsoever to do with him or anyone connected to him from now on and you’ll be fine. Keep yourself busy by joining a club or two or taking some classes. You need to get over your dependency on him. As for telling his wife? My advise is don’t. She’ll find out soon enough because you know a loser like this will do it again and again. He suffers from a personality disorder called Narcissism. Move on and count yourself extremely lucky to have escaped the fate of his wife and family.
Sounds like the old phrase “Treat ’em mean, to keep ’em keen” does work. How very sad. Pathetic really.
if you tell the wife that just keeps you in the loop…in the drama- run away. she WILL find out if she doesn’t already know, chances are her friends know and are just waiting for her to get through the pregnacy.as for the guy- wipe your hands of him and find some cool people to hang out with who can keep you away from him and not isolated in your misery. Take a dance class/ computer course/ book club, now is the time to be amoung friends and make yourself a better person. FUCK HIM…but not really!and next time go to an advice column
Hey Britney, why don’t you do like Mr. Savage says: DTMFA!!!Move on with your life. Don’t even bother with his wife. She’s got nothing to do with you and your situation. Leave her out of it. No need to get her involved since all you’ll do is ruin that relationship as well. Just think about the child they’re going to have.Turn the page and move on.
it is not foolish 2 fall in love but it is foolish 2 hang on when your only going 2 fallan anonymous letter 2 his wife may b in her best intersts but i fear u may reap something from him that u wish not 2 if u tell her (unless of course he was cheating on his wife with more than 1 women & he’s not sure who tattled)
it is not foolish 2 fall in love but it is foolish 2 hang on when your only going 2 fallan anonymous letter 2 his wife may b in her best intersts but i fear u may reap something from him that u wish not 2 if u tell her (unless of course he was cheating on his wife with more than 1 women & he’s not sure who tattled)
the idea that men ‘NEVER change’ or have ‘twisted minds’ is not based on reality, it is based on the romantic idea of manogamy (sp?), the reality is that it is in our (men’s) nature, (hard-wired in our DNA) to ‘spread our seed’, @ far @ we can, it is the reason human beings have survived until this day, genetic diversity, like it or not, if we r lucky enough 2 meet one kind, intelligent, & sexy but modest woman & we fall in love with her like i have most of us will b satisfied & will not stray, men can & do mature if u will, but we still look & we still desire, & if the ‘oppourtunity’ presents itself we will probably do something about it, it is only naturalthe ‘think of the child’ arguement 4 not telling his wife is illogical, would u people rather the family continue living a lie?, this is more damaging than the truth, why do we hide the truth?, seriously consider this, i was born b4 my parents were married so i am by definition a bastard, my mother thought i would b upset 2 know this, where’s the logic in being upset @ your parenst 4 not getting married b4 u were born?, then think about waiting until a kid is a teenager or older 2 tell them something serious like ‘you’re adopted’, it seems logical 2 me that the child would b upset @ being lied 2 all that time & shocked not @ the the fact that he/she is adoptedabout telling his wife, i think u should take the advice of previous posters & walk away, the drama that might result from your telling her may b dangerous 4 u, she’ll probably find out somehow someday anyway, she may already know, some women understand that if they cannot satisfy their man (can’t handle it every other night) then 4 his health & sanity he needs 2 ‘get some’ somewhere else, keep that in mind, think of other cultures & ancestors, my hope is that we open up more @ a society & consider other living arangments than the so-called ‘tradtional nuclear family’, because ‘it takes a village’ & if children learn from a young age that telling the truth & respecting each other is very important this kind of thing probably wouldn’t happen
Burned again wrote … “BTW. If any of the women who have responded would like to get in touch with me maybe that would help me sort this out.”You’ve been offered some very sound advise on this board and should be able to sort this out on your own. If you can’t, may I respectfully suggest you seek some professional help. Good luck.
NPFTS…you are seriously such an ass!1. Why are you assuming that I have moved on from one man to another? I don’t understand where my love life has come into play?? 2. I agree with you that in this situation, things should be black and white…however, in this case it wasn’t to her. I agree that she should have come to her senses long ago…clearly there are self esteem issues…so you saying again and again how stupid you think that she is and that she is a loser doesn’t exactly help. This girl needs to realize that she is better than this and she should be happy. At this point its clear that she finally is starting to realize this…it may have taken awhile but at least its happening and for that she deserves encouragement not a fucking ass raping from you, from the sounds of things she’s gotten enough of that already.3. Go Fuck Yourself:)
Is his name Aubrey????
mwh : it’s monogamy. “mono” means “one”. Polygamy = “poly” means “many”Burned, before it’s a 3rd degree burn….RUN!!!! Run like the wind, don’t tell the wife and dont look back!!! There are plenty of fish in the sea!!! Trust me! 🙂
correction, 2nd paragraph, ‘will probably’ should b ‘might’a freudian slip perhaps
correction, 2nd paragraph, ‘will probably’ should b ‘might’a freudian slip perhaps
JGOFY1. READ her original post. READ it again. When you’re done doing that, READ it again.How many times would you get kicked in the teeth before you stopped asking to be kicked in the teeth? This is not a self esteem issue. What’s going on is someone can’t move on despite the fact that they’re not wanted. Nowhere has the OP stated that they can’t get another man. 2. Apparently she doesn’t need any encouragement. Just another kick in the teeth. Oh wait, the guy she’s so pining over gives her enough of that. So I guess she needs more of an ass-raping from me and others who’ve dragged her over the coals.3. No, fuck you. Stop defending the stupid. I have your Darwin award waiting for you. You won in the “best support role” category. Please keep your acceptance speech to under 1 word since by winning this award, everyone already knows about your intellect.
WTF is wrong with you ya bleedin idiot? Life 101 – When something really sucks you stop doing it, find something else and keep on living. If you’re lucky life then improves. If not see first sentence and don’t whine because no one cares.Capiche?
Yes, you should tell the wife. I know I fucking would ! That might save her from having any more kids with the fucking cheater.It’d be about time someone fucked him over!
Uh, what curtainless rock are you living under? There IS Sunday shopping in Halifax. If it’s the fact that the stores are not open past 5 or 6 on Sundays that irks you (even though most open at 10am giving you a full day of Sunday Shopping bliss), then I suggest you get some time management skills and find time in the other 6 days of the week the malls are open to buy your precious curtains. Curtains, by the way, are NOT a necessity of life, and you could easily change your naked ass in another room, or hang a sheet temporarily…so shut the hell up and complain about something a bit less shallow.
I know how you feel. When I moved into my place I needed curtain rods pronto. Unfortunately I didn’t have time to get them and decided to make them out of camping hot dog prongs taped together. Its been two years and because of this bitch I just realized I am still using them. Lol Whatever works.
OR you could just change regardless and stop being a prude.
Can we please stop talking about sunday shopping
Oye! Walmart is opened until 6 on Sunday’s. Last time I checked curtain and rods were there!