Feel like bitching at myself but wanted to share with anyone out there who might be going through a similar struggle.
I came out in the last few years to my friends, work, family, etc. I naively thought that coming out would somehow magically reveal me as a lesbian to every other gay girl for the rest of my life. Then the “you don’t look gay—are you sure?” comments that I received made me feel like I will always be the odd girl out in any circumstance. It’s taken me way too long to start living my truth, I’m not about to change it all up because it doesn’t look right to someone else—when I look in the mirror I have to say that gay looks exactly like me and yes, I’m sure! As you can see, I’m defensive and I am annoyed with myself about that too, I mean, why do I let other people make me feel insecure? I’m a full grown woman, this is not high school.
The worst part is this feeling has prevented me from branching out socially in the gay community as much as I want to and that is my own damn fault. I hate feeling hesitant and awkward—that’s not who I am. I’m a nice person, friendly and I love to laugh, dance, sing. I love making new friends and I want to so badly—the only barrier to that is ME—so that’s who I’m bitching at.
Pull it together girl and stop making excuses.—The_magical_invisible_femme
This article appears in May 17-23, 2012.
Thank God I’m green so that people don’t need to ask if I’m an alien.
But, this is a shitty situation femme.
that helped with my teacher too…
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51JM…
At least you know what the problem is. Now, what are you going to do about it?
Strange that the gay community would be just as prejudiced as the rest of us.. wait no.. that’s not really strange at all.
go on a gay singles cruise or vacation at a lesbian land.
you are either born that way, or you learn it. don’t get me wrong here, i have a lot of friends, and some family that are gay.do i put them down, nope, that is there business.do i support them, yep, 1 million plus per cent.
o.p., your life is your own, to live however you see fit. if the doofuses can’t handle it, too bad. they probably lost out on a very good friend/person.
I’m not sure if you’re asking how to make yourself look more gay or how to stop feeling awkward at the club… If you feel you’re looking too straight, just cut off all your hair or start dressing like a boy. If that doesn’t work just buy a t-shirt that says “I heart pussy” or “Muff diver”. Everybody is socially awkward, some people are just better at pretending they ain’t. I did a little bi moonlighting in my 20’s and let me tell you, women are a LOT harder to pick up than men BTW.
i think she’s just bitching at herself, and hoping someone has had the same circumstances
“Funny you don’t look Jewish” used to be a catch line back in the bad old days. This bitch brought that back to mind. I see the phrase has been updated.
I find it astounding that anyone would be that stupid/insensitive to say you don’t look gay and “are you sure?”
You seem like a thoughtful, intelligent lady OP, just be yourself. Very nice qualities for the lucky woman that lands you.
“If you feel you’re looking too straight, just cut off all your hair or start dressing like a boy. If that doesn’t work just buy a t-shirt that says “I heart pussy” or “Muff diver”
yeah… just change everything about you to ‘fit in’…
that works out well all the time…
*sigh*
what the FUCK are they teaching people these days?!?!?
I don’t think the OB should change in the least little bit.
Why should she? To better fit, the stereotypical, bigoted, and preconceived images of how certain types of people are expected to appear and behave?
I refuse your labels, I refuse to conform to your expectations.
I spent many school years trying to “fit in” and blend in with everyone else. Now I realize that’s a stupid thing to do! I don’t want to be like “everybody”!! Normal is boring. The people I wanted to be like will probably live and die and no one will notice.
Amen to that, Mel.