You keep saying there are no good men on dating sites? You’ve been using a certain popular site for over a year now and still haven’t found a good guy? I beg to differ. If there were no good ones online then how did 4 women we personally know end up engaged or married or in some type of a serious relationship? This is proof that there’s plenty of great guys in HRM! I think you need to do a little self reflection, toots. —Figure It Out Already
This article appears in Mar 28 – Apr 3, 2013.
A Bitch about dating sites? Step aside everyone, this is The Captains territory…
Having recently divorced myself from the online dating world, I feel I should weigh-in with a few key points…
-Bitches don’t answer their damn messages anyways.
-Those websites are sparsely populated by creeps, stuck-up bitches, trolls (of every variety), and desperate head cases.
-Those website are mostly populated by normal people who get shafted into one of the aforementioned groups because everyone is so damn judgmental and superficial these days, not too mention how factually correct they think their small-minded opinions are.
-Most wouldn’t know good grammar even if it fathered them.
Unfortunately, your friend has probably already dismissed all the good guys on whateverdatingwebsite.com that tried to connect with her. She would have thought they were ugly, illiterate, not successful, or probably just looking for sex… but, aren’t they all?
Maybe those 4 women were ready to settle for anything with a hairy nutsack – yes, OP, some women are that desperate to find a man to ‘complete’ them – dumb coozes. Maybe your buddy doesn’t want to settle with second best, she might actually value herself.
^ What he said.
I beg to differ: One site in particular has very high quality men! NOT POF either!!!
I remember when I met my wife. I actually went to a social environment and talked to her. I guess that’s so 1990’s. I think these websites are so jam packed with superficial people.
I mean check the shit on TV with the hot blond with big tits asking you to call her up because she’s lonely tonight. Yeah and I’m a fucking fool to be sucked into that shit?
Well might as well hose myself down with AXE and go to a bar and have women fight over me. Ciao!
There are superficial women and men on POF. There are gross women and men on POF. There are also decent folks. I agree with you Senor Campana, it’s much better to meet someone in a natural environemnt than online.
Confession: I got bored last week and decided to make a new POF account. It is now deleted. But I’ve seen a pretty decent girl a few times in that week…so whatever. I guess it is what you make of it?
On dating sites and in real life, you have to feel good about yourself first…then the superficial people won’t matter and the random dick picks will make fun conversation. Especially if you recognize the dude out there in the real world…
“aren’t any good guys out there” = “there are no guys out there that will play my petty, narcissistic, head games”.
Exactly TTFN. Exactly.
I personally tried POF myself in the past and found only guys with severe sociological and emotional baggage. I’m sure there are good guys on there but they’re outnumbered by scum you don’t want to meet. One should stay single the rest of their life before they want to meet some of those lost causes.
Plenty of fish is like an unkept garden – The few quality people on there are live flowers…while the rest are dead flowers and weeds.
What is a good man? Ten women will give you ten answers.
Every person is different, and what works for one(or turns one on) won’t do it for someone else.
From *my* experience on a few dating sites: they’re like going to a single’s bar 30 years ago- most are not for you, but there are cool, normal people here and there. In a single’s bar maybe they came in for their friend’s birthday party, on a dating site maybe they don’t have the time to go out to meet someone and are giving it a try.my female friends on a fishy website showed me my “competition”. Lots of greasy dudes looking for pussy. A few success stories. Many of the girls I met or read peofiles for seemed like bitter people who can’t let go of the percoeved wrongs done to them in the past. Until they are able to let go and give someome a fair shot, they will continue to be disappointed, because they choose to be.
I saw it as an audition process to fill the time until I found my sweetheart. We’ve been together almost 2 years.
The times in my life I felt noone wanted to love me, I was not being lovable.
If all you see is assholes/bitches/users/stereotypes, then you need to change your owm behaviour, make better choices, and lighten the hell up.
But everyone is different, and situations are as varied as we are.
Have fun, don’t expect Prince/Princess Awesome every time, and see it as a journey ro finding love, love of YOURSELF. Or you will never be happy.
p
Paulio knows.
Well said, Paul! I couldn’t have put it better myself! I’m on POF right now and there is definitely good and bad…but in everything, right? You just have to use your “street smarts” people. If a guy wants to see your tits after a few sentences he’s not for you if you’re looking to settle down; however, if you want a crazy night of wild sex, why not? Not sure I will ever understand why a lot of women on there send photos of their vaginas and still think that’s going to land them Mr. Happily Ever After (I hear this shit a lot and the “right” guys just don’t dig it “ladies”)ahem….them crazies are fucked! Hola! Life is what you make it!
It’s a variation of the Barbary Coast slave auction.
“Now infidel, bend over and show the effendi your Portal of Divine Ecstasy.
30 dinaris for this Andalusian catamite? You insult me and my family for 5 generations you son of a jackal and handshaker of Jews!”
Mentality is the same; only the technology has changed.
OMG you guys/gals are a riot! HA HA HA And I am dead serious! When I chat with people on the online dating sites we often talk about our “experiences”. This topic of close-up vag shots comes up more often than I thought possible. For a long time I thought only guys could be dicks. Sorry, a huge lesson learned for me….women seem to be even worse. It’s sad really, what some people will do out of desperation to not be alone. Depression and loneliness is a sad thing. “Zero self respect” as Boru says. Zero brains is what I would add to that. Definitely some sick puppies 🙁 And when I read “Tuna Shots” (HA HA TTFN), I nearly fell off my chair! Glad we can have some fun with this one! hee hee
RE: vagina shots.
I, too, got these stories from guys online.
One time, a guy cancelled on me twice (for meeting up the first time). I thought it could have been cold feet, but one of my friends suggested that he might’ve cancelled with me to meet another girl. “You have a lot of tough competition”, she told me! Oh yeah, desperate brainless women who send pics of their vags to strangers and psycho, controlling, materialistic, bitchy women (I’m sure at least half of the gals on POF are one or both of those types of women)….some strong competition for me LOL!!
If I’m losing out to these type of women, then clearly these guys are bullets I gladly dodged!
Not only was the Captain unable to woo any of the lovely ladies like Milk n Juice, but he couldn’t even catch the eye of a -desperate brainless woman who sends pics of her vag to strangers; a psycho, controlling, materialistic, bitchy woman-
I guess people were dodging THIS bullet
Oh nut up Captain. No one wants to date a man with no self confidence.
The Captain has enough self confidence for ten men! The problem lies in his boundless confusion brought on by his dealing with the fairer sex.
Are you ugly? I’m not mocking, I’m asking seriously. Women don’t tend to like ugly men so that could explain why you can’t get a date.
Or cheap. Women ditch cheap men. Seriously.
Good one, Milk. Sorry Captain, I know it sucks sometimes but all the “bad” bullets you’re dodging is a good thing! Patience is a virtue they say; the right one will come along when the timing is right. Another issue that comes up with women are questions about job status/how much a person makes, etc. Come on ladies….will ya hold back just a little? Maybe you could exchange vag shots for the money? Would that work? Don’t be givin’ it away! Hey! Maybe next time we can all share some excerpts from our “pleasant exchanges” on POF or similar sites? That would be some comic relief for sure!
I’m not ugly, as far as I’ve been told. That, of course, is a subjective question. Although, I believe my face may be too cherubic for some.
Wise advice, Harper. I don’t think that I do, though. I’m just a genuine dude, so I do often get misinterpreted, oddly enough.
And I do have high standards, or at least stringent ones, melodymaker. But high standards don’t mean nothing above a size zero. I’ve had more than a few plus sized ladies in my life, and I’d never shy away from someone for that reason.
Heather, you’ve got a few online stories to share? Do tell! I love the horror stories from the world of internet dating.
Heck, even I’ve seen a Wee-Willy show up in my inbox. Although I’ve never been favored with a snatch snapshot. I honestly didn’t think ladies could be creepy like guys in that fashion.
Well what are your standards Captain? Perhaps the bitch board can help you work them out. Spill your guts man.
Well this is getting personal, but what the hell…
-Intelligence is a must (hopefully through post-secondary)
-Athleticism (I run, and would like a partner in this)
-Cooking ability (so we can wage cooking wars, obviously)
-Humour (hopefully an actual sense of humour to compliment my own sense of….. uhh… whatever I have)
-Health (I plan on living for a looong time)
-Money/Independence (I’ve been on my own for 5 years, and I don’t like the idea of becoming a sugar daddy again)
Physical traits aren’t as important, people come in all shapes an sizes, and I find that fact far more attractive than something like huge boobs… although, there’s nothing wrong with huge boobs.
Honestly, I’m usually playing the stereotype when I complain about women problems. I’m quite happy right now, bitches and all 🙂
So… How did I do on my audition, paulio? >:D
Sounds reasonable Captain. I don’t think those are high standards at all. What is your definition of health?
not cherubic captain, perhaps a rugged angelic look^^
Why thank ya painey 🙂
Health = nothing terminal (I’m in this for the long run, no offense), nothing I could catch that’d be detrimental, and a general resilient disposition would be cool.
in other words *not a wuss*
Captain, just the usual “can I see your tits?” “do you have a full body shot?” “do you like it up the ass?”….that sort of thing. And yes, these are after just a few short exchanges. A big turn off but sometimes I find myself bored on there and think “What the Hell? Let’s see what else this Prince Alarming has in store for little ole me”. More often than not the conversations end quickly. That’s not what I’m about. Most comments are so absurd I delete them right away. The next “live one” I get I’ll definitely fill you in. As for “the list”…I can do all that, except for the running part….big boobs = black eyes ya know 😉 Kidding, of course. I’m asthmatic! Boooo!
I don’t talk to guy’s who don’t have a profile picture without a shirt and I end any conversation after he tells me he won’t talk dirty with me. lol
LMAO @ Boru!
——-
So… How did I do on my audition, paulio? >:D
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I would be proud to be your wingman.
😀
Unless someone is going for a one night stand, telling the truth is a must. On the off chance you find the love of your life, or just someone who you’re with for 6 months- they *will* find out about your hentai porn collection.
Don’t give everything away on the first, or even second date, but rather let the prospective Mrs Captain unravel and peel your Mysteries, like a big white cooking onion: not as many tears as you think.
Actually, I got off track at the end there, but be honest, is my advice for anyone doing online dating. There really are nice folks out there, who, like you, are tired of the dreck and wankers, and would love to meet a normal person.
I didn’t go on a thousand dates, but I had a couple doozies…
One PoF experience I thought was funny(after the fact)- At the time I was early 40s. A 30 year old woman messaged me and we talked for a week online. She’s all “Wow, you’re really funny and smart, and you’re handsome from your photo. I really want to meet you!” So I told her I would happily do that, but before we make a plan, here is *what* I am(disability). She immediately changed her mind. Her dad had lost a leg to the diabeetus and was now dead. Apparently the thought of me freaked her out too much.
For me, anything under 35 is too young, usually.
Meh.
Good luck, Captain!
p
p
Good advice, Paul.
Just curious, how did you know about the Hentai? I swear I delete my cookies daily :S
I’d say 35 is probably my cap, but I’m just a young sea dawg.
Remember our dinner date a few years back, Paul? My smart mouth almost got us mugged by the Parkade. You would have saved me though, right?
Of course he would have. The man can free-lift 250 lbs. with his tongue.
“When Paulio was in the Alps, fighting grizzly bears,
He used his magical fire breath and saved the maiden, fair.
He’d make a plan , and he’d follow through.
That’s what Paulio would do”
“Of course he would have. The man can free-lift 250 lbs. with his tongue.”
Put that on your profile and you’re golden.
You’ll be getting 5-6 vag shots a day.
“For me, anything under 35 is too young, usually. “
Fuck you, WheelieP. I never had a shot 🙁
🙂
And I have to say, Captain is a catch and a half. I really can’t fathom why he’s not being chased by the ladies.
I mean, if he asked ME out for coffee, I certainly wouldn’t say no. *wink*
And PK strikes again!
“I really can’t fathom why he’s not being chased by the ladies.” – If you ever do figure out the reason why, be a dear and let me know 🙂 It’s a vital piece of data.
Honestly, I thought you were a lot older than me PK. Like, by a decade. Not because you look it, I seem to remember someone mentioning your age at one of my first summits?
If just turning 31 is ‘like, by a decade’ than sure. 😉
I made a match.com profile a few weeks back just for the fuck of it and since then I’ve had about 14 ‘interested’ menz according to the emails the site is sending me. I’m trying to decide if paying 40 bucks is worth it to find out who these men are. They could all be bums who want me to send them pictures of my boobs and I’d have 40 less dollars to spend on hookerz and blow!
… I also made a christianmatch.com profile one day when I was off sick from work. I saw the ad and thought it’d be full of hilarity. It was, to say the least, entertaining.
I might make a jdate.com profile sometimes. Love the chosen people!
SOBova has also remarked on the Keptin’s outdoorsy, rosy cheeked, boyish good looks.
Which is unusual since she tends to favor the “Masterpiece Theatre”/British actor look – dissolute, tubercular, gay.
She told me last night that Paulio should consider doing voiceover work.
He does have a great voice.
31???? Holy fuck, Kitty, I’ve got shoes older than you – narf.
Right on! I’d have such a laugh on a christian singles website. At least there’d be less penis photos showing up in your inbox… hopefully.
So I guess my information was a little off, it’s more like 7-8 years depending on when our birthdays fall.
I’d personally never pay for online dating. Not while I’m young anyways.
“Masterpiece Theatre”/British actor look – dissolute, tubercular, gay.” – Yup, that’s definitely not The Captain. My thanks to SOBova 🙂
“I’d personally never pay for online dating. Not while I’m young anyways.”
Well I’m old, so I really do need to explore my options. 🙂
Paulio in person is unlike no other. The smells, sights and sounds… and the trail of ladiez following him as he glides down the street. Damn.
You’re a great looking kid, Cap, and smart to boot. I’d certainly welcome you as a potential son-in-law. 😉
Mrs. Ivan likes the British actor look? I used to positively drool over Rutger Hauer myself. Until he got too long in the tooth – heh-heh.
Frig yes. James McAvoy, Benedict Cumberbatch, any number of Doctors Who.
How she wound up married to Falstaff is anybody’s guess.
Hey PK…….maybe they’ll expand on the jdate.com and start a VA-jdate.com ?? LOL
A son-in-law?! That’s not the first time you’ve mentioned that, TTFN. Do I already know your daughter?
“VA-jdate.com” – Awesome! I’m sooo signing up!
Just yanking your chain, Cap – just channelling the good Jewish mudder in me – just seems like my kid dates the brooding musician types although I think that stage may be passing.
Haha it’s pretty obvious, to me anyway, why you don’t have luck with the ladies Captain.
Really? I’d like to know…
If you believe that in person I am anything remotely like I am online, then unfortunately you don’t know the reason.
The Captain is, after all, an Avatar.
Ok well a woman just hit on you and you told her she was old. Might be a trend of saying things and not meaning any harm but offending anyways because I don’t think you were trying to be mean to pretty kitty. Well I hope you weren’t anyways.
Nope, no offense meant.
Annnnnd you’re probably right. That makes a lot more sense than any other reason I’ve heard.
You’ve given The Captain a lot to think about, melodymaker.
Ok Captain, this is just for you. Not sexual today, but just one of the many absurdities to grace my online dating inbox. Enjoy!
“Oh my Hat!!! Miss Exquisite Heather, you have the transfixing eyes of ‘Medusa’ powerful enough to instantly transform any appreciating man into a besotted rock and such attractive natural attributes that automatically allude amorous intentions from far and wide!!! Please excuse all my humble flatulence as I am merely inspired by your admirable and gorgeous presence. Allow me only this single moment to bestow upon you with all the love, respect, health and happiness henceforth and may all your dreams, wishes and desires come true anon!!!! Grinning regards from the ‘Cradle of Humankind’ “
WTF??? He said “flatulence”! Should I be flattered?? Or should I grab him some Beano??? :S Was this you??? HA HA HA
*sigh* it’s ok melody. I wasn’t [that] broken up over captain’s response. Not like it made me sad for most of my day or anything.
😉
Well, Heather. If he starts going on about labias, spanking, or Nazi memorabilia, you’ve probably hooked yourself a Montrealman.
OMG Ivan, you know the whole time I was reading that message I was thinking “this really sounds familiar….maybe, just maybe it’s MM……” The guy was actually from South Africa. South Africa?? I just don’t get it? Have you seen those LD online relationship shows where people have their first meeting? They fly thosands of miles to meet and in most cases have no connection at all! All that money and time wasted! I think I’ll settle for wading through the mud bogs looking to snag a (local) fish!
My god it’s scary these days being single,with the STI’s.So many people having one night stands.It’s not for the faint of heart or shy folks,that’s for sure
Some folks are unsure of what to say on those sites.OP your friend might already like someone and may feel she’s being unfaithful to the guy she likes(although isn’t sure whether he feels the same of her).
Finding love is difficult if you don’t know how to find it.
How in the heck can you be ‘unfaithful’ to someone you aren’t even in an exclusive relationship with, let alone dating?
And if this person does feel they’re being ‘unfaithful’ at this point in the game, she’s probably one of those crazy bitches who books a frigging church and drags out that white dress she bought 5 years ago the second some guy looks in her direction.
Bitches be CRAAAAAYYY-ZAYYY.
“And if this person is, she’s one of those crazy bitches who books a frigging church and drags out that white dress she bought 5 years ago the second some guy looks in her direction.”
Yep,that one has problems,if she’s booking a church 5 years before she even meets a guy.
My question was just a hypothetical question.
What was the hypothetical question?
p
Don’t even hypothetical questions still end with a ?
Anyhoo…
Womenz be a confusing bunch.
That happened to a friend who is more loyal than a Labrador Retriever.I told her that the guy she was talking smutt with may be “her guy”…She just tells me it’s complicated but she really likes the guy so he’s worth it.
? Another stupid punctuation mistake.
“Womenz be a confusing bunch.”
That’s cuz you have a penis so…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bobp5OHVsWY… *
😀
Also, I think boru’s question was kind of ridiculous. Again: if you don’t even know if he’s interested in you, why in the fuck would you be ‘loyal’ to him? Only silly bitches put all their eggs into one basket.
don’t give up on the dating site.
nothing is tangible until it’s looking back at ya.
http://www.dr4ward.com/dr4ward/2011/03/don…
p
P I noticed Woggy was trying to instigate another feud earlier.
I mentioned this evening i was going to have wine,well i didn’t.i had a cup of herbal tea instead.Woggy accused me of being drunk.Not a drop of alcohol passed my lips today
tubunit call me when you want to go for a walk.I can be great moral support to help you loose weight.I lost a lot of weight; i can help you do the same. 🙂 Pardon my directness.I’m concerned about your health.
BERU that al souns guid yu offring to wak wit me but no offfens yur nuts that i no. what if yu tak a shine to me how willl i ever shak yu. no tha ole woman wont bak me eny mor cookees if she evr caut me wit yu. yu are a klinger and by now we alll no yu tooo hard to shak. no im guid rate were i am, rite ole woman?
I would love to meet one man with one personality who is faithful,honest,who will treat me with love and respect.A man I can count on to love and protect me when I’m down.A man who would do anything to show me he loves me.
I’ve been told that man does exists I haven’t met him yet. I thought I met my dream man but he had something else in mind for me,Which didn’t include love.
I’m happy for you OP;dating sites are not for me though.For now on if I don’t meet a gentleman in person I’ll continue to be single.I spent a lot of years unhappily married,I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than with an abusive man.
You realize that no one’s going to touch you with a 10 foot pole until you work out your issues, right? ^^
You want someone to be your ‘everything’ and ain’t nobody got time for being someone else’s ‘everything.’ It’s suffocating and degrading.
Nobody’s perfect including you PK.
In real life I am Far from being the craziest.
If you say so.
You want someone to be your ‘everything’ and ain’t nobody got time for being someone else’s ‘everything.’ It’s suffocating and degrading.
Being someone’s everything doesn’t mean your glued to them.I don’t feel it’s degrading to have/show honesty and respect for another person.Who’s got time for childish games; being dishonest and disrespectful ? Not me.
——–
You want someone to be your ‘everything’ and ain’t nobody got time for being someone else’s ‘everything.’ It’s suffocating and degrading.
——–
Doesn’t make sense. Are you saying that People in General want that, or You want
That?
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Being someone’s everything doesn’t mean your glued to them.I don’t feel it’s degrading to have/show honesty and respect for another person
——-
?
——–
Who’s got time for childish games; being dishonest and disrespectful ? Not me.
——–
In all honesty you DID participate in an exchange of “Loves” in lieu if actually talking to the person you claimed you were in love with, even though he was alledgedly laughing at you behind your back at work with the other employees.
Broadcasting every insecurity to your intended “audience” and coming off like you think every man is untrustworthy and shitty is a sure way to drive them away.
p.s. I am not perfect.
P “You want someone to be your ‘everything’ and ain’t nobody got time for being someone else’s ‘everything.’ It’s suffocating and degrading.”
PK said that to me.
I can only speak for myself.
The problem is, boru, is that you sound obsessive and you’ve admitted you want someone to ‘carry you.’ Your very own admission. I’ve said it before: until you get your shit together, you’ll never have a mutually satisfying relationship. Learn to fulfill yourself and you will be MUCH more likely to find the relationship you want. You’ll be much happier and you wont be going on the internet feaking out and making almost everyone think you need help. We can only go by your behaviour here. None of us know you in real life, really, but From what you post here, you sound like someone with issues you need to work theough with a professional. There’s nothing wrong with that! A lot of us have benefitted from therapy. And getting pissy with us about it isn’t going to help, either.
PK: ‘ A lot of us have benefitted from therapy. And getting pissy with us about it isn’t going to help, either.’ Uhhh …… nope, at least you haven’t benefited YET! Keep going to that therapy ok. Because right now you sound like you think you’re pretty much perfect and we all know that ain’t so. Prancin that gigantic ass around the house bare-assed? ummmm….keep the therapy up ok?
Boru: I like your sense of humor. Yeah if he’s cute enough YOU Can be anything he wants you to be!!! lol!!!