Five months and counting. — If I get my period next month I might scream

This article appears in Jan 20-26, 2011.

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40 Comments

  1. It is the making that is the fun part. Keep trying.

    There is always adoption you know. Plenty of existing children need a good home.

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  2. I unerstand, OP, but stay positive because they say that you should only be concerned if you’ve been trying a year with no results. 95% of women get pregnant within 2 years of trying. 2 years sucks when you want one now, but it’ll happen sooner I’m sure. Me, i just had surgery to remove a huge hemmoragic cyst and they found out I have severe endometriosis. If I want another baby, which I do and was planning to try for in about 8 months time. I’m told though that we have start trying NOW, since they cleaned up my insides (including remove my appendix which were ‘tethered down’) and right now my chances are better.

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  3. I went through the same stress, and can only council you to relax. As long as you are in the fertile window (?? – 35yo’s) 5 months is technically insignificant (I know it doesn’t feel like it). It was 12 months before my soldiers were counted, almost 22 months before the doctors felt it time to test my wifes plumbing (invasive), and because of our age (20’s) we were told to just keep trying, as everything appeared normal. Low and behold – 30 months in, when we were starting to investigate less natural methods and adoption, we got pregnant. We are expecting two boys in the spring. Keep at it, don’t get discouraged, relax and try to enjoy all the sexy time. Good luck, I’m rooting for ya.

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  4. Not to jump way ahead, OP, but I fully support INFU’s statement on adoption. Not that my intention is to hijack this thread, but since the topic was brought up I feel it is important to convey just how much adopting a child can change his/her life. I know that had I not been adopted I’d be nowhere near the person I am today. Instead of secure, loving parents and a close to ideal childhood, I’d have ended up in a home with multiple, short-term “Dads” and would not have gotten important medical care I was in need of as a baby. In fact, I am always proud to tell people I am adopted because it allows me to pay tribute to my amazing parents and the selfless commitment they made all those years ago.

    Getting back to the bitch….. keep trying OP…. while welcoming a child into this world is by far the best part of life, the process of trying, as INFU has mentioned, if indeed an extremely fun one.

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  6. It sucks, being a young-one I know a few of my friends and family that are younger than me ending up with babies while people like you that are ready can’t.

    I wish I could have a baby for you, but that takes away the whole point. Keep trying, stay positive.

    Good luck!

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  7. Z that sounds awful 🙁

    Congrats, Walter!

    Keep at it, OP. And perhaps take a preg test to be sure? A couple friends of mine got their “periods” throughout their pregnancy and one only found out she was pregnant through blood work for the “flu”…turned out the “flu” was a 5 month pregnancy!

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  8. And yet those who do not want children get pregnant. Maybe the OP is placing too much stress on trying to get pregnant. If they “stop trying” and pretend they are not trying, likely then she will get pregnant. If not, maybe either the OP or her partner are unable to breed…..in such a case, seek a doctor and begin saving money for them to intervene and get you pregnant. A friend of mine is a doctor specializing in fertility and man, the money she makes is incredible.

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  9. Good luck! Keep trying! I know my internal clock is finally ticking loud and clear, but I have to wait a couple more years (which kind of scares me ’cause then I’ll be in my 30s). Wish you all the best – and hopefully in a couple months we’ll see a love from you 🙂

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  10. Sucks is so fertile, you’ve just gotten pregnant by reading his post.
    Please, I advise you, do not get a paternity test or your dirty little secret will be exposed.

    Plead the Mary defense….
    The night that Mary said to Joe: “Joe, I’m pregnant.”
    Joe went: “Holly Mother of God!”
    She went: “You’re right!”
    – Oh, Jesus Christ!
    – What a great name, Joe! That is so much better than Shmul. Way to go!
    – I love you, Joe!
    – Hold on a minute, Mary.
    – So I’m the step father?
    – Yeah.
    I can’t discipline him, I can’t tell him he’s wrong,
    ’cause he’ll look to me saying: “You’re not my real dad.”
    – How did it happen?
    – It’s immaculate, Joe.
    – It better be, Mary! It better be immaculate!

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  12. Think of it as more time to save for diapers, monster strollers, wipes, etc, etc, etc. It’ll happen when it happens.

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  13. Op – hubby and I are trying too, and I’m finding the “well meaning” advice from others starting to get irritating. “You should get the p*ss sticks for ovulation – did you get them yet? Did you get them yet”….

    Honestly what has kept me somewhat sane is the “what to expect when you’re expecting” web community forums – they have sections for planning, and ttc (trying to conceive) and also a fertility, loss, etc sections for those who may need them… I’ve learned a lot about charting temperature etc from there – maybe you’ll find something useful there? 🙂

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  16. Thanks PK. Even though we fought on another thread, I admit your posts are always pretty nice 😉
    It’s funny because although we aren’t yet officially trying, my husband& I now using the withdrawl method in order to ease back into it. I am partly freaking out at the thought of becoming pregnant right now. We’ve had so much going on for the past yearwith moving home from abroad, new jobs & all sorts of other chaos…and with things only just beginning to calm, I had really hoped to have the spring and summer to relax before trying again. But we both really want a second child and don’t want to lose the window of opportunity where our chances are close to normal. I know I’m whining but I feel fucked up over it. Fucking endometriosis!! I’m all for adoption too, but the waiting lists are so high and I really want to be pregnant again, however selfish that may be. .

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  17. I don’t think there was enough info here, is this a married couple trying for baby? a single teenage girl? or one of those that is in a pact to have a baby like in the US? Just curious about that. As for the baby part of it I have been married for 17 years and still no baby yet. Yes its the fun in trying but perhaps you should seek advice from a gyne or start with your family doctor. They are the first places I went too. Best of luck.

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  18. I think Bro Tim is onto something; if you& your man are totally on board for a baby which you seem to be, according to your post, OP- using the meantime to save for baby stuff is a great idea. I don’t think it would be weird if you discreetly started buying things here& there that you’ll need when the time comes; we did that when I was in early pregnancy; the carseat, diapers here and there…etc, and it took a load off when our baby finally arrived.

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  19. Maybe its not you…could be your partner, so maybe try a ‘bedbuddy’descretely on the side.
    IF having a childs what you want the most , that is a possibility.

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  20. Thanks, Z. I tend to enjoy your posts as well 🙂

    Ginger: that sucks 🙁 Have you thought about clomid or tried it? I’ve heard it’s relatively cheap and helps if you have ovulation issues. The only drawback is that it increases the chance of multiples significantly. I saw a video about it on the CBC archives a few months ago, actually, and it was initially developed as a birth control pill, but then women put on it for BC were becoming pregnant…with twins and triplets and even quads and quints! OOPS! lol

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  22. HA! I have arguments like that one with my friends all the time. Well, kinda really only NGF, but the fucker has it coming each and every time.

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  24. There’s also a blackberry app that you can get that helps you predict ovulation using your body temp…m (previous to downloading it I thought ovulation was when your temperature spiked. Turns out its the 4 days before, with the day before the temp spike being the most fertile). Its called “period calendar deluxe”.

    And now, I apologize to all the males on here who just got tmi… There’s an app for you too called “my girl”, helps you predict when she’s gonna be moody……

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  25. Well, I may very well be in your shoes some day, Ginger. I have PCOS, and while I’ve never tired getting preggers (spent most of my time thus far trying NOT to get preggers), I’ve been told it might be tough and clomid’s apparently the first line treatment.

    I’d love to have twins but triplets or more? SCARY!

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  27. halicowton… an app that highlights every day of the month….
    that’s nothing special really… more of a calendar than anything.
    🙂

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  30. Hi pg. You’re refering to someting before my time I think, but I get the general idea 🙂 Why do artist so often portray Jesus as European/white?

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  31. “But, why do you want to be a woman Stan?”
    “Because I want to have babies.”
    “You can’t have babies– where’s the foetus gonna gestate? You gonna keep it in a box?”

    (sorry OP, a little sidetracked– good luck!)

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  34. no offense z but sometimes one child is the best…mama bear you are not included in this

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  35. A long time ago, before I got pregnant, I used to be NMH. But I changed it after my old email account became invalid. I’ll never forget ginger….that was fun!

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  36. Paingirl, i agree sometimes one child is best, but as someone with two siblings who are also my best friends, it’s only on an intellectual level I can admit that. Emotionally, I can’t do it.

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  37. it’s none of my bidness or anyone else’s. they’re was an interesting bit on the cbc this a.m. about china and their birth rates. too many boys

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  38. I rarely disagree with painy…but I definately disagree about 1 child.
    You need 2 at least, 3 is better. How can you learn to beat the shit out of your brother/sister, if you don’t have one ?
    How can you learn dealing with loss, after a little sibling steals & ruins your most prized possesion .
    Where will you ever get that feeling of knowing someone has your back, even if your in the wrong, when your getting beat up after school & your brother/sister jumps into help you !?!

    No too many things you need to learn, are lacking in a 1 child family.

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  39. How can you learn to beat the shit out of your brother/sister, if you don’t have one ?
    -ummm, jailbate.

    How can you learn dealing with loss, after a little sibling steals & ruins your most prized possesion.
    -have you ever seen kids play with their own fucking toys? they don’t last long regardless…

    Where will you ever get that feeling of knowing someone has your back, even if your in the wrong, when your getting beat up after school & your brother/sister jumps into help you !?!
    -me thinks someone else misinterpreted ‘friendship’ with ‘acquaintance’ growing up..

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