“regular” is not one of our flavours of coffee. “regular” is *especially* not one of our flavours of coffee when I just fucking told you what coffee we’re brewing today.
don’t put your fucking change on the counter 2cm from my outstreched hand- I’m not asking you to read my fortune, dickfuck.
Can anyone pour their fucking milk into their fucking coffee without making a mess?
holy shit- i didn’t realize it was so hard to throw your disposable cup out when you’re finished- this must be why you leave your garbage on the table.
This article appears in Jul 3-9, 2008.
Actually, this is why people strive for a good education… so they can avoid bullshit jobs that hardly pay enough for this sort of after-work stress. This is also another very good reason to legalize pot. hehehttp://thecoast.ca/FBPubGoToSource.lasso?-token.specificitem=19392.113118
“Regular” is people’s way of avoiding sullying their mouths with $tarbuck$’ bullshit pseudo-cultured brew names (i.e. marketing gimmicks).”Regular” simply means a plain ole java. Probably Columbian, Arabica, or French – medium, dark, whatever. You can pick any of those, pour it into a cup; most people will be happy and you can move on with your day without dwelling on their simply appalling lack of cultivation. And go fuck yourself.
One more on the list of reasons why I don’t go to Starbucks: their employees treat regular people, who want regular coffee, in a large fucking cup, as if they’re stupider than they are for applying for (and accepting) a job they only want for the status, and to bitch about the basics of the work that comes with it. Hey, honey, it’s your job to look bored and act like you’re better than everybody, you better believe people will mock you and do shitty things to get under your skin, like make you pick up their paper cups.
What status, Beav? It’s exactly the same McJob as working at Tim Horton’s, a job most of us are glad we only would have had to consider in our teen or student days. Don’t feed this silly fucker’s idea that somehow Starbuck’s is anything but a fast-food joint.
Thanks Beav,I couldn’t have said it better than that.Also thanks for the tip,because the nexted time I get a nasty employee at any establishment (including CSR’S),Ill know just what to do,PISS THEM OFF!!!
I don’t hold the idea that Starbucks is super awesome and cool, and I see how my sarcasm could be mistaken for perpetuating that myth, but that’s the attitude of some of their customers (and at least one of their employees). If we’re being frank, McDonald’s coffee is probably better than Starfucker’s. The misconception that one franchise is ‘cooler’ than another isn’t in my mind, they’re all the same to me. What differentiates them for me in this case is the pretentiousness of this employee, and their delusion that they shouldn’t have to clean up spilled milk. I find it hard to believe somebody who sounds this spoiled and lazy took the job for any other reason but to be able to say “I work at Stahhrrrbucks, which is totally awesome, but the customers are sooooo annoying”. There’s an implication with this Bitch that customers should be better behaved at SB than they would be anywhere else, which seems to make the OP believe they’re more entitled to making the complaints. They hate questions about coffee, cleaning up after people, and having money placed on the counter instead of in their hand? Tim’s employees may have the same complaints, but they wouldn’t drip (or be brewed… ah, haha, ha ha… sorry :P) with the same condescension.
First time having to work for your money, is it? Welcome to the working world, where idiots are everywhere, every 3rd customer is an ass, and you are just some chick servin coffee!
Yeah, from now on I am sooooo dropping my change on the counter, 2 cm from the outstretched grubby paw of the resident aspiring writer / musician (who’s never actually, you know, written anything).Beav, we the readers knew what you meant. I figured the OP, who obviously takes itself very seriously yet appears to dumb enough to buy the StarSluts marketspeak, would not.
Wow you work in a coffee shop that caters to the self-entitled crowd (not that every single person that goes there is self-entitled, but Starbucks does market to those types specifically) and you are surprised when they act…like self-entitled people. You’re funny.
Can I please please please work at Starbucks so I can convince myself I’m better than people, even though I work at a fucking COFFE SHOP??? Loser.
It’s hysterical. A coffee shop which is staffed by barristas who think they’re too good to clean up the customers’ mess, and which is patronized by customers who think they’re too good to clean up after themselves. I might have to start going to Starshmucks just to watch the eye-rolling olympics.Anybody know Foamy the Squirrel? go to http://www.illwillpress.com/vault.html and watch “small, medium, large”. Put your coffee down first.
The whole idea is so stuffwhitepeoplelike.com, no?I had totally forgotten about that squirrel Miranda – thanks for posting it. It used to be one of my faves!
I didn’t see S/M/L but I saw the coffee house propaganda one and that was fucking funny…Never saw these cartoons at all before… Where the hell have I been..??
LMAO @ eye-rolling olympics… sign me up!!
I don’t think anyone particularly disagreed with most of what the OP said, except the “regular coffee” part, because pretending that it is not completely obvious what “regular” means is just fucking stupid. We more disagreed with the snot-nosed tone, and general ironic, disagreeability of being told off by a paper-hat warrior with a superior attitude.
Like, oh my god, Bad Guy, don’t you remember what Timmy’s tastes like? We used to drink it, like, everyday when we lived in the trailer park!
Some people appreciate the finer points of coffee. Most people see coffee as that stuff that keeps them awake. I say go with Jammie’s idea OP and just throw coffee leftovers in the pot next time someone wants a “regular” coffee. They’ll either not notice the difference, or they’ll think the coffee is so shitty that they won’t come back to Starshmucks again. You win either way.
I actually am a bit of a coffee snob myself, but I fucking hate when people get all, you know, *pedantic* about it. It’s like wine snobs going on about noses and legs and cherries and licorice and oak. Just drink it and shut the fuck up so you don’t sound like such a piece of shit.Speaking of pieces of shit, Bono reminds me of African aid, which reminds me of Ethiopian coffee, which I really enjoy.
(Floyd, the “Bono” line in my post below was a reference to “More Crap”, another South Park episode. Just so you know.)
Bono will never be #2 again… (Have you seen Imaginationland yet?)
Yes Qwerty, all three parts. I don’t know if I was more excited to see the Furry Woodland Critters again, or another “Alien” reference in the show. (I love me some Alien.) I heard they are being put together and released as a straight-to-DVD movie!
It’s already out, uncensored. My favorite line: “Terrorists have attacked our imaginations, and our imaginations are running wild!”So genius.
“WHAT WAHAT WHAAAAAT????”where where where?
I agree with most points the OP makes actually. Any adult should be able to pour milk into a coffee cup without making a mess. There is no reason to be that rude not to drop the change into the cashier’s hands. Treat the Barista’s with respect. A number of my girlfriends have worked at coffee places, and loves a lot of parts of the job. BUT people can be idiots and rude to them for no reason (Ignoring this person controls the quality of your drink). BUT, I can appreciate why someone would say regular. I typically will stipulate whatever level of roast I want, or pick my coffee off the sign beforehand. But if you are a *shudders* Tim Hortons drinker, you probablly want whatever is closest to that and don’t know the difference. I don’t know Tim’s well enough to say whether that’s medium or light roast, but burn the beans a little bit and they should be good. 🙂
actually, as skill sets go, I understand Starbucks pays relatively well for the services that you provide which is essentially turning in place and pouring liquid A from container B into cup C.were you yourself more interesting as a person, and rather more educated we could certainly discuss any topic you would care to name while you performed this action, but as a rule, given the hiring pool, you are not, and you aren’t.regular, or anything else I’d like to name. it’s a free labour market economy, and for pouring coffee, the stress level seems to be too high for you. try the post office.
Bono probably drinks that really expensive coffee that’s harvested from animal excrement and uses biddy as whitener. Do they have that at Starbucks?
Good ole Kopi Luak, from Sumatra. I doubt Starschmuk’s has it – it’s something like $700 / kilo of beans.I do love a sumatran Arabica though. In a “regular” cup.
Nice call on the old man biddy BTW…
If we can’t get a forty-five dollar cup of coffee with double man-titty milk at $tarfucker$ Inc., this place obviously isn’t good enough for any of us!ps. thanks, Jammie, I like your SOTC, always have 🙂
Man-titty milk on the counter. Along with Alison’s. Yum.Thanks Beav, and yours too.
Great acronym there Beav… and I too like Jammie’s SOTC… Didn’t always but I do now… Maybe an acquired taste or maybe its cause he’s been pretty damn funny & entertaining lately…Way to go guys…
Aw shucks. I actually think the reason is that I had been reading the Bitch forum a long time, and when I finally created an account it was because I saw a couple of hot-button issues that I JUST HAD TO weigh in on, and I came in out of nowhere, a virgin newbie, with a couple of rather strongly opinionated and aggressive posts. So…I pissed several people off on my very first posts without first easing in and making friends…and have been slowly making up for it ever since. I’m not shy, so I’m sure I’ll piss you all off again sometime, but I’ll enjoy the harmony for now 😉
Also that I got into it with Qwerty on my very first posts…probably realizing that that is clearly not the way to make oneself welcome.
…er, probably NOT realizing…
Oh and there’s the thing about me backing the Homie up. Also apparently not a way to endear onself. But I think he’s right about lots of stuff, so what can I do…?
Jam I think it was the way both you and Homie both said a few things the same way… that caught me up… Like:”Gotcha…”
LOL I didn’t even notice that one. Interesting.
Yeah Jammie you’re right about not a good idea to take on Qwerty… I am smart enough to know that If I ever took her on here toe-to-toe she would slice me into ribbons of dogshit… And if you were like most of us,,, lurking awhile before posting,,, you would have known not to fuck with the Qween Bee…!!!!
Thanks, Floyd & Jammie. I came in here with the heavy a few months ago as a total noobus, hoping to become a bit more enlightened through communal anger and knowing I’m not alone bitching about shit from time to time. It’s a crazy dream, I know, but it’s mine. I like LLTWB’s SOTC (at least these days).
The missing W will prove to be my downfall… have mercy on poor Beav!
I have no problem with the snotty tone. There are a lot of bs barista’s need to put up with, customers are very rude for no reason to these people. Its like how people treat fast food workers, except coffee drinkers tend to be more holier-then-thou. (than?)And am I missing the Trailer Park reference Lori?
Hmmm…I realize now that I may not have “lurked” long enough to post comments. Good Gawd I thought I left high school behind a long time ago, but apparently not!Here’s my two cents anyway: OP is an entitled a-hole who probably had to get a job after maxing out Daddy’s credit card. I don’t think that retail workers are there to be our verbal punching bags (and trust me I’ve been there) but puh-leeze Honey…. are you the same person who left your maxi pad in the washing machine BTW?
looks like someone needs a new job! whiny bitchhhh
-…you and me, we’re gonna start a club. i am in food service. i love it, i am good at it and with a barely grade 12 education, it’s all i can do for now. but please people. give us a break. sometimes people are sweet and accomodating. but the palm readers are annoying. and most men do it to make me lean over to get a down shot of cleavage. listen to us. read the menu. ask us of course, it’s what we’re for. we know the menu.but asking for the one thing i didn’t mention is rude, it tells me you didn’t listen to me and then people get aggrivated when i can’t comply with their demands. if you would have listened to my suggestions, you would be already served..or even *shock*…put your phone down and then ask me about the menu.but a lot of time ‘-‘ we are the first person some people see inside a day, or in their 30 minutes for lunch. cleaning others peoples mess is part of our job. what bothers me though is when they tear their napkins into confetti. coffee cups-fine, confetti. unless you are inviting me to a party, piss off with the confetti.