Well, spring is here and summer will be shortly upon us. Seeing that, the office of Haligonians For Common Sense has published a short lost of guidelines for the spring/summer seasons. Allow me to share three tips that I find that need to be reviewed year over year.
Tip 1: This is directed to all of the people who feel that even though it is warmer, they still do not need to clean themselves. Fact is, sweat makes you smell like a bucket of KFC after 4 days of being in the sun. Please, shower regularly. It’s a simple process. Failing that, please apply more deodorant.
Tip 2: This is directed at the ladies, young and old. Yes, white is a nice cool colour. It reflects the heat as opposed to storing it, and therefore makes life more bearable on those days that the humidex reaches 35. However, when choosing a white garment please consider choice of undergarment colour. Just because you can wear black panties/bra with those pants doesn’t mean you should. Use discretion. Also, it’s not attractive for anyone, be you 20 years old or 45.
Tip 3: Not to be sexist, here is a tip for the guys out there. Right, we get it. It’s hot and the layer of fur that keeps you warm during the winter has become a burden. That does not mean you should shed your shirt. No one thinks you’re attractive. That beer belly does not make it any better as well as the fur covering your back. To those guys who are lucky enough to not have an undershirt made of hair, this still applies. Your pale, unsightly skin is unfortunate and so is that faded tribal tattoo you got 5 years ago.
As always, use your best judgment during the spring/summer months. So apply some common sense, put some sunscreen on, and enjoy the weather!
—Authorized Agent of Haligonians for Common Sense
This article appears in May 28 – Jun 3, 2009.
All you fashion prisses can take a long hard drag off my dick. I’ll wear what I want, when I want. I don’t need some pretentious fucktard from New York, Milan, London or wherever saying what’s in or not, cause I don’t give a fuck about it.
I won’t wear any pants this summer.
suck that, Authorized Agent of Being a Douche.
Yeah!! Screw you, OP. If I wanna be smelly and show the general populace my underpants, that’s my God-given right, dammit!!
You high-falutin’ New York people, with your showers and your hairless shoulders and your subtle undergarments….who do you think you are, anyway?
No problem. I’ll just wear my black granny panties OVER my white pants.
Bro Tim, you said it best.
I don’t think it’s really about fashion so much as it is about people doing stupid things… At least part of it’s right, I don’t want to see what you wear under your clothing. It’s called underwear for a reason.
OP, you sound like a prissy bitch. If it’s hot out, and a guy want to take off his shirt(because us girls can’t really do that) he’s entitled to if it’s in his own yard anyway. Yeah they might not be able to help “the layer of fur” that they may have. So how hell has that become a bruden to you? yeah you might have to look at it, but who cares! I bet not everyone enjoys looking at you either, but they deal with it.
But I do agree with one thing! Everybody wear sunscreen!!! 😀
1: What the fuck? KFC smells AMAZING. People should make an effort to not stink. But come on, even the cleanest people sweat and stink in the sun.
2: It’s not something I’ve ever done because of all the reasons you’ve outlined. But it really offends you that much? Maybe if the wearer was in a professional setting I’d be slightly annoyed by it. But come on, it’s summer. Chill out.
3: So only the tanned, ripped guys are allowed to take their shirts off? Fuck you! I hereby encourage the men of Halifax to shed their shirts as much as possible this summer, as a big FUCK YOU to this little asshole.
Chest hair is fucking HOT!
1. no shower take a swim.
2. I don’t wear any so I don’t have to worry.
3. who cares
Bro Tim: 100 points for your post!! Fuck other people and what they think of fashion choices. I look damned good god dammit!
TTFN: That is so hot. I don’t know how I’m going to concentrate on my work now! 😉
I agree with 1 &2 but boys sheding their shirts meh doesnt bother me
i don’t wear undergarments except on my head
You must be a newfie baking bread, thats what nanna does LOL true
Hey, my mom used to wear underpants on her head to keep her pink foam curlers in her hair. Then she’d answer the fucking door like that, with a curler sticking out of each leg hole.
LOL TTFN gotta love em. I hope hers were clean. Nothing like skid stained underpants on your head when awnsering the door.
I’m all for wearing whatever one wants, but I can’t seem to turn away from those retarded men who insist on wearing sandals and socks. It’s like a train wreck, you stare at it incessantly and can’t quite figure out, WTF were they thinking.
Apparently Haligonians + common sense does not compute.
Maybe those people who wear sandals and socks really didn’t want to wear shoes but have the most disgusting feet you have ever seen. Maybe Sandals and socks were the only thing they could think of!
You’re a champion for the shirtless, showerless, classless masses, Bro Tim. Congratulations.
Welcome to the Maritimes.
Its better then socks over tights then some shoe that could pass for a sandal but is a sneaker. I think we just don’t care about how people see us.
Op why would you not want to peak at some underwear? your boaring. You bore me to death with your fashion tips and judgments. Im going to take off my shirt anytime I want, Because this is my life, and if I want to feel the sun on my chest, than That what I will do. Enjoy your fab condo, and your ikea funiture and leave the real people alone.
The only thing I agree with prissy bitch OP – is tip number 1 because I have a really weak stomach and strong smells KILL ME.
But as for the other tips: There’s this dude who can only be described as Randy off the Trailer Park Boys – who walks around the SG & DR area – well my heavens..last week he was wearing swimming trunks from the 80’s (bright red/orange/black) with a pair of shades (days of Thunder – free with burger purchase at Harvey’s)…I still smile when I think of him…I LOVE THE Summer!! & everyone who doesn’t give a shit what the rest of the world think!!
OP is right about the showering, though.
Most of the ladies I see in the summer are wearing black tights.
Yes, I’ll take fashion tips from someone from Atlantic Canada… When I was in New York once nearly ten years ago I noted the new fad of ‘skinny jeans’ (mostly brought on by the popularity of the Strokes, I’d imagine) – that was close to 9 years ago. Now some people here flaunt them as if they’re a testament to high-culture and edgy fashion. I know that wasn’t really the point of the bitch, but my point is that no matter how modern you think your look is, it could be stone-age to others. Not really the point of the bitch, I know…but…BARCELONA!!!!
Ever get a sunburn on the top of your feet? Sock wearing, sandal wearing people don’t.
claiming not to be sexist, and yet you reinforce sexist gender roles such as:
Woman should wear clothing for the sole purpose of physical beauty and attractiveness and,
Men whose bodies do not conform to the modern “buff” asthetic should be denied the basic human right to cool off on a hot summer day?
I smell a contradiction… and a bigot.
I think it may be you, did you forget to apply your “eau de non-prejudice” de-odourizer this morning?
claiming not to be sexist, and yet you reinforce sexist gender roles such as:
Woman should wear clothing for the sole purpose of physical beauty and attractiveness and,
Men whose bodies do not conform to the modern “buff” asthetic should be denied the basic human right to cool off on a hot summer day?
I smell a contradiction… and a bigot.
I think it may be you, did you forget to apply your “eau de non-prejudice” de-odourizer this morning?
i’ve got feet like a Hobbitt, a belly like a kegger,
and enough body hair to embarase a gorilla. but when the sun comes up and the heat rolls around i don’t give a flying rats ass if someone is offended while i.m trying to be comfortable.
so to all the fashion police out there, you can just bite my shiny, furry, ass ;))
i’ve got feet like a Hobbitt, a belly like a kegger,
and enough body hair to embarase a gorilla. but when the sun comes up and the heat rolls around i don’t give a flying rats ass if someone is offended while i.m trying to be comfortable.
so to all the fashion police out there, you can just bite my shiny, furry, ass ;))
partofthelegend: very well put! “eau de non-prejudice” de-odourizer… awesome!
Frodo: Amen brother!! I’m not quite as gorillobbit (that’s a cross between a gorilla and a hobbit) as yourself, but damned if I’m going to hide my measly chest hair and semi-rotund belly in the summer when it’s hot as hell out!
Are pogey boots and jogging pants still in? I don’t go commando anymore in case the pants fall down… damn elastic… I don’t “do topless” cause I just burn and peel… but I resent that someone should be “in shape” to remove their shirt… I’m in shape… round is a shape… LOL
You know, in Ontario ladies can go topless.. law passed about 10 yrs ago… it was popular for a little while, but I haven’t heard anything about it for awhile… like the guy who got pulled over because he was swerving on the 401. However, he was given a warning, and 2 ladies driving topless, in a jeep that was also topless were advised to put a top on the jeep or themselves.. Of course they were a hazard… people drive 130 regularly… whatever the weather…
I got the worst burn in my life, watching a topless volleyball game.. it was worth it.. LOL
Are pogey boots and jogging pants still in? I don’t go commando anymore in case the pants fall down… damn elastic… I don’t “do topless” cause I just burn and peel… but I resent that someone should be “in shape” to remove their shirt… I’m in shape… round is a shape… LOL
You know, in Ontario ladies can go topless.. law passed about 10 yrs ago… it was popular for a little while, but I haven’t heard anything about it for awhile… like the guy who got pulled over because he was swerving on the 401. However, he was given a warning. Two ladies driving topless, in a jeep that was also topless were advised to put a top on the jeep or themselves.. Of course they were a hazard… people drive 130 regularly… whatever the weather…
I got the worst sunburn in my life, watching a topless volleyball game…