It’s not my fault that you don’t have a life other than gossiping about other people or talking about shitz that happened years and years ago. You drink like a fish, pop pills by the dozen and try to party like you’re 20. Get a hobby, take up tap-dancing, get a cat, do something constructive but stop expecting me to entertain you and feed you gossip. You’re 55 years old, bitch. —And That’s Why I Don’t Answer Your Calls

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11 Comments

  1. LOOK AT SHAKESPEARE

    Drama never ages. Look at Shakespeare.

    (Avatar #81: The Coronation Edition of The Halifax-Herald – The Halifax Mail, May 11, 1937)

    A pleasure as always.

    Cheerio!

  2. 55 is not “middle-aged” for a pill-popping heavy drinker.

    It’s when the stories start to cycle from A into B into C into D which leads back into A then B…. that’s when you know it’s not long yet.

  3. 55 isn’t middle-aged. It’s one foot in the grave and the other slipping on a banana peel.

    A 55 year old party girl is both sad and nasty.

  4. I have watched many of my peers who can’t get off the alcoholic nipple transform into human puddles of poison. Those pretty ‘I’ll do anything for a drink’ girls at 60 look like Baby Jane’s REALLY ugly sister, corroded inside and out – the rockin’ dudes of the same age group are either dead or waiting for a fresh liver.

    Moderation in all things.

  5. GOOGLE A KEYWORD

    Paste the idea here and reword it a bit. Try and make it look intelligent.

    (Fill up the space – as typing is free and I have nothing better to do with my time – November 22, 2014)

    Trademark sign-off.

    Froot Loops!

  6. And you couldn’t text them this directly because why? Looks like there is a snailmail group starting up – maybe they could help you write them a letter and that way you would be supporting Canada Post home delivery as well. A win – win, no?

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