It’s been beautiful out. I haven’t left the house in five days. My laundry hamper only contains pyjamas. I wash my hair but can’t be bothered to comb it. The sun looks good, wish it felt good. I’m scared to go out and my tummy hurts. I wish I was a “shiny happy people smiling.” Im terrfied of going out and having somebody look, really look, at me. The high school girls go by my window laughing and I hide behind the curtains envious of them. The mailman seems so carefree too. My dog must be so sick of me. Lucky pooch, for his skin matters not to him, or any other. I’m so sick of me. So sick.
—Sigh (thinking of a clever name takes too much fucking effort)
This article appears in Jun 4-10, 2009.
Well… that sucks.
Hope things get better, but they only will if you make them.
It can be a big scary world out there, sure, but you can’t always worry about what other people are going to think. Take baby steps. Go sit outside, on your deck/doorstep/balcony/stoop, whatever you’ve got and take in some sunshine. If after a while you feel uncomfortable, stick it out for another 5 minutes and then go back inside. Slowly work your way up to taking your dog for a walk down the block, then maybe to the park. Life isn’t always a bowl of sunshine and cherries, sometimes it’s clouds and pits. But don’t let that get you down. Put on a brave face and get out there yourself. Nobody is going to do it for you.
You sound agoraphobic or at least very depressed. Have you considered talking to a professional about that? My adoptive grandmother was agoraphobic and didn’t leave her house for almost 10 years or so and a good friend of mine has severe clinical depression. She’s being treated now though and is getting better(my friend).
I feel for ya, OP. The best way to get over this though is what NW suggested — small steps!
Are you a guy or girl? Just wondering because I don’t know any guy who combs his hair. I stopped that when I was about 12.
Small steps are fine, but professional help is also necessary. Also please try to be nice to yourself, you’re going through a tough challenge. Good luck.
It’s also amazing what cleaning yourself up and dressing nice can do for your spirit. I suggest that you get up one day, shower, comb your hair, put on a wonderful clean outfit and some nice shoes , have a healthy breakfast and then go outside and follow NM’s instructions. You’ll feel so much better.
Hospital patients can get the same way, layingin bed in a gown all day and night, but as soon as a family member brings them some real clothes, and they get up and start walking around, the difference in their attitude is amazing.
I also have a nervous stomach, so when I’m going out somewhere I often feel sick at the thought, but once I’m out it goes away.
I agree PAS. I suffer from intermittent (not clinical) depression, and it’s amazing what scraping the grease off and putting on some nice clothes does for my mood.
Just rent a gorilla suit and get the hell out there and have some fun handing out balloons to all the wee ones! It’ll work wonders…I promise!
These are all great ideas!
you could also invite one of your friends over to do this all with you
wow the only person who can change you is you. So if your no happy with yourself ask yourself, Why. Write them down and change them.
A person can only help someone if they are willing to help themselves… There is something to work on.
This is why God invented make-up.
this is a bullllllshit lie…..not true at all….waste of time reading this.
Gee, Kay, did He create make-up on the 8th day or something? Dumbass.
Let their be make up!
You, my friend, are DEPRESSED. Don’t you dare be afraid to strut your stuff because of other fucking people. You wake up, slap a smile on your face, and face the music because once you’re dead, you’re dead. I know what it’s like to be in a rut. When I was younger during the summers I would sloth around in my room because I was so lazy and bored. I missed out on fishing, camping, biking, and all the other wonderful oppurtunities that awaited me. By the time school started again I wanted to practically go back in time and bitch slap myself into another dimension. Go, get off your arse and take advantage of your world!
Oh, lighten up, Fat. The post was supposed to make the OP smile… and you too.
PS: I suffer from seasonal depression, (in the winter) but I get it under control with vitamins; I recommend doing the same.
here has been my philosophy when i feel ugly depressed fat etc “fake it til you make it” if you feel bad make yourself look damn good and go on out, even if its just to the mailbox if thats as far as you can go. people tell me they wish they had my self confidence and were as strong as i am, my response is always that thing are not what they seem, sometimes i feel like a bag of crap, but i try not to let it show..i might be fucking depressed but i’m going to look good doing it
Great advice, VOT. You can use a self fulfilling prophecy to work for you. Even say it out loud, “I am wonderful. I am beautiful. I am happy.” Eventually your subconscious starts believing it and doesn’t the rest fall into place after that? Good luck, OP.
Well meaning advice and kind words for the OP. Unfortunately,if this person is truly suffering some disorder, be it depression or agoraphobia, then none of these suggestions does squat. Professional help and medication may be needed, rather than putting on makeup, gorilla suits, and a smile.
I have to agree with stillshining. Mental illness isn’t something you can just will away with positive thinking. Would you tell that to someone with cancer? I understand the desire to be “helpful” but all it sounds like is you are saying it’s their fault/choice and they should just try harder…all the while thinking they know what it’s like for the person because they “sometimes get depressed….or easily distracted…..or don’t feel like going out.” It’s not the same and it’s disrespectful to someone suffering from a serious challenge to be equating your transient experiences with what they go through daily.
I can’t say that comparing cancer to depression or most mental illnesses is quite the same. No amount of councilling will get rid of cancer. If you can go to a doctor who can talk you out of your mental illness, you can do it yourself. Most drugs for mental illness do not cure anything, they simply mask, or alter, the symptoms. Similar to cold medications, they don’t cure your cold, they just stop you from sneezing and coughing so you can go to work until it goes away on its own.
I’m not saying it’s not hard, or doesn’t suck to have a mental illness, but there’s a lot more you can do for yourself to make yourself better than if you have cancer.
Or it could be that you two (SS and MR) are over diagnosing this person and maybe they aren’t suffering from deep clinical depression or agoraphobia. The only way for this person to know is to first try and get out there, on their own, without being diagnosed and medicated. If that doesn’t work, then they should def go to a professional and seek help. I just think that people should try to help themselves before going to a professional.
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Gee, Kay, did He create make-up on the 8th day or something? Dumbass.
Posted by Nice Goin’ Fat on June 8, 2009 at 4:48 PM
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Personal Attack #17.
This is getting really weird. I think this guy might really be dangerous.