Snow Plow Manifesto

4. All streets to be plowed are plowed from the beginning to the end. Stopping to leave snow in the middle of the street, or at the intersection of an adjacent street, is not permissable and4. a) this is also applicable for shovelling within property lines, i.e. all of stairs, deck, sidewalk, driveway, etc., and4. b) wherein more than one party is responsible for snow removal, equal removal is required of both parties unless otherwise mutually agreed upon by both parties.5. Drivers of plows are required to lower the volume of their reversing signal5. a) especially after midnight, and 5. b) at times when the situation seems very complicated (a one-way street) or 5. c) very dangerous (during a heavy snowfall warning) or 5. d) if the driver suddenly has no idea what’s happening (backing in and out the wrong way on a one-way street, pushing up kerb, hitting houses and trees, etc.).6. Plows in the HRM will be re-named “feather dusters” except 6. a) in the case of smaller plows affixed to half-tonne trucks (which will be re-named “L’il Swiffers(R)”) and6. b) except in the case of people with snowblowers (which will be re-named “assholes that always stop short of your property line because walking an extra ten feet would be too nice of them, and they risk something like getting a plate of cookies in return for being neighbourly, but prefer to be assholes instead”).6. c) in the case of 6. b), the acceptable term is “asshole”.(in the case of 6. b), a complaint I heard, not necessarily one I have)