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I wrote you a note, expected a response, a resolution, closure. Instead I got no answer, awkwardness and a slow burn that I can’t seem to shake. I expected better. -Hurt but I’ll get over it
This article appears in Mar 25-31, 2010.
24 Comments
what the fuck is he matter with you, didn’t you ever hear of face to face, or a fucking phone. notes can get lost, same as texts or emails. next time, have the fucking nuts or pussy to go to their face for an answer. jesus, some of you people drive me fucking nuttier than i am.
Yeahhhhhhh right! You ain’t getting over it at all.
umm..uh oh.
Some people get busy with stuff…
Responses could then take a little longer, especially if they don’t know what to say and thought that there was closure already made.
“have the fucking nuts or pussy to go to their face”…
LS, I think you’re on the wrong thread
This is the lowered expectations thread…
where lonely hearts are looking for someone to relate to.
Sometimes when you call, the person doesn’t answer so they are left to write a note. I get it – it sucks OP. But you have to take their no response as they didn’t care enough to even give you that and just try your best to move on.
Pussy. Approach the person in person! Don’t write notes…that’s what pathetic people do.
@ Woot:
What if they did give their response, more then once, and that didn’t help the situation at all, and they felt that they were only prolonging the Op’s hurt feelings by remaining in contact. So they openly told said person that they should no longer be in contact and should go their own ways.
Said person is then not trying to be an asshole, they just think it’s the best route to take, as the op has tried talking to said person countless times, and each time it was the same result.
So now, that the op writes said person a note, maybe said person is a bit tedious about re-establishing contact, not because they don’t want to be friends, but because said person fears that they would be going down the same road of hurt feelings from the op, awkward conversations of getting back together, and lingering feelings felt when they do hang out.
And for the record, maybe the op has tried approaching said person in person, but for reasons listed above are unable to.
angel, is the o.p., you? if it is, then i feel for you, but there has to be a time for a face on encounter somewhere. who cares where at, just make a point, o.p., infinding other party and having your say. even if it takes months. get your justice in.
oh, and by the way, osama bin laden is alive and well, living in halifax. saw him today, on #2 going to fairview.
hahaha.
No LS I’m not the Op….
And what if the OP has made countless attempts and had countless times where the subject of the bitch HAS spoken to the op….and it did not help the situation at all.
How many times does this have to happen before the subject of the bitch can say no more?
There could be a million reasons why the person didn’t get in touch with OP. But with that being said, even if I hated someone I would give the courtesy of saying “fuck off, and leave me alone” or “thanks but no thanks”. There are MANY ways to contact someone and if said person couldn’t take two seconds to give the other person closure I view that as disrepectful and showing their indifference towards OP.
Perhaps said person is just a coward, or perhaps OP couldn’t take a hint….we just don’t know. I just know (yes, from personal experience) that not having closure is very hard and I have a soft spot for OP.
Also, showing up on someone’s doorstep is sometimes not an option as it would make you seem crazy when someone is avoiding your phone calls….
O.K
That’s just the thing, what if the subject of the bitch had countless phone conversations, coffees and whatever else, with the OP.
At first maybe the subject of the bitch was willing, and even wanting to still be friends with the OP.
But the OP instead was very intense about getting back together with the subject of the bitch, and after an extended period of this, the subject of the bitch respectfully told the OP that they thought it would be better if they deleted any form of contact they had with each other and went their own ways, because apparently any contact with the Op was just hurtful and prolonging getting over any lingering feelings the op had for the subject of the bitch. How is that not closure?
So does that still make the subject of the bitch a coward, cause really what’s the other option, hanging out with them when you know they have feelings for you, and that it won’t go anywhere?
I think that’s a bit more hurtful in the long run.
I didn’t know the background information stated above fallingangels. But of course if the above situation occurred then said person is not a coward or a bitch. Sometimes people just don’t feel the same way as someone else and thats that.
ooo, angel has a soft spot for this one…
me thinks a story goes with the plight.
notes are kinda cowardly… but there are plenty of cowards out there so it’s to be expected. think of it like the precursor to texting… is texting a valid attempt to try to get in touch in this case? I think I would say it is… regardless of the fact that you may be blocked.
and showing up on doorsteps randomly throughout the night will get you shot or maimed in some neighborhoods…
in others, they don’t even care if you’re hammered and claim you used to live there, they let you right in and off to the puking, naked singing toilet races you go.
If you’ve got to send a note (and I’ve been there, there ARE circumstances when it’s the only way unfortunately) it helps to have a date in mind as to when you expect a response.
If that date comes and goes, without one, that’s your closure. Yea, it sucks, but its better than going on *wishing* and hoping. If the person is too much of a coward/tool/insert-your-own-obscenity themselves to respond, there’s your answer. They’re just not that into you.
Preparation-H should clear up that slow burn.
The sooner you have sex with someone else, the sooner you’ll get over them.
no soft spot at all *shifts eyes suspiciously back and forth*
Tresorla, if you have to write a note to an ex in which (in basic situations) you set a date for a reply, probably not a good sign right there.
Just sayin’
Yes, it is a horrible sign if it resorts to setting a date for a reply – if someone cares for you they should be making an effort to contact you.
Respect is all people want and it is too bad it isn’t always given or deserved.
Slow Burn it has been 2 months since I was ‘silently dumped’ and the pain is near gone. Hold your head high and keep your dignity and just let go – meaning do not contact said person.
Good luck.
Jeez I”m not saying like an actual date – “please respond by March 31st or we are soooo over!”
Just that if its a long distance thing, or whatever the reason, you’ve got to be aware that no reply means no interest. I fully agree that if they care they should be making the effort!
Or sometimes, a person can show that they care by not contacting the hurt person and prolonging feelings from that person.
Rip the band-aid off type thing.
Don’t be a coward! Tell them the truth AND cut off contact if it’s necessary to help the hurt one move on. Don’t leave them hanging. That’s really insensitive!
Thanks Sequin….I agree…the silence dump is the worst dump. No matter what the circumstance.