I’m getting married next Spring and after working out my budget, I realized I could only afford to have the maid of honor and four bridesmaids in the wedding. This works because my fiance also has four good buddies and one bestest buddy, so things match up.
The major dilemma with me was, I had six good friends, not just five, so it was one of the toughest decisions I had to make in deciding which friend I unfortunately had to leave out of the ceremony. I chose you because I’d been friends with you the shortest amount of time. My maid of honor is my sister, one of my bridesmaids is a close cousin, one is a friend since childhood, and the other two are friends going back to highschool. I felt sick to my stomach when you arrived to my place after I’d invited you over to break the news to you, since I knew you assumed you’d be in my wedding. And I felt worse when I could see you fighting back tears.
You freaked on me! You argued that I should’ve left out someone else and, although you agreed with the sister and cousin being a part of it, one of the other three friends should have been out because you were there for me in the last four years more than all of them combined.
Yes, you’ve been an awesome friend, and yes there have been times you were there for me when the others bailed. But they’re still awesome too, and you forget that I have a huge history with them. You’ve been my friend for only four years, THEY’VE been in my life for 12 and 21 years! OK, for a while there circa 2010-2012, I drifted from them a bit, while you were around every weekend. But while you were out west for work for 18 months, it’s been like old times with my other besties. You and I drifted and I only heard from you once a week while you were away. When you moved back, it wasn’t the same anymore.
After I explained everything in the previous paragraph to you, you go into full-blown insults!
“Probably don’t want a bridesmaid that would look better than you, that’s why I’m out, you’re picking the others cause they’re fucking heffers!” was what you told me. Then you told me to go fuck myself and that you hope I find out right on the wedding day that my fiance was cheating on me or he backs out at the last minute, and if that doesn’t happen I go through a nice pricey divorce! You stormed out of my home, telling me you’re not even going to the wedding! You, honey, made me that much happier with my decision! You weren’t really genuine after all, because who says shit like that to her friend?! Even if this had happened to me, I’d be unhappy but I would never say such hurtful comments. Bitch, YOU can go fuck YOURself while I go marry my man and live the rest of my life with him and my girls! —Bride to be who made the right decision
This article appears in Oct 2-8, 2014.
So glad I’m gay!
And for the record, I’m an anti-gay marriage gay guy.
You forgot to tell us about the part where you all got food poisoning….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLbpcnzUdvw
I’m a straight female who is against marriage as well. Been down that road once, never gonna do it again. Friends can also count me out of all your weddins please! I ain’t goin.
Ugh …Bridezillas are the worst! Reminds me of the time my “best” friend invited me and two other friends to her wedding. Apparently she could only afford a few hundred people at the reception, so we weren’t allowed to go to that …however; we were allowed to go to the ceremony and of course bring a gift. She also advised us not to wear dresses with prints, to only wear solid colours because it’s more “classy”. Like, if you can’t afford to have the wedding you want, elope. When you start picking and choosing friends like that and disincluding people, they tend to get hurt. When people get hurt, they usually express it through anger – Duh! Don’t get swept up in the details of centrepieces and napkin-rings and forget about the people who were there for you during the bad times, not just the good times. Because after the pretty weddin’ with the pretty dress and yummy cake comes a marriage. Dat part ain’t always such a party.
good god almighty I am so grateful I am me.
Basic bitches by basic bitches
“Fucking Heffers”
“Probably don’t want a bridesmaid that would look better than you, that’s why I’m out, you’re picking the others cause they’re fucking heffers.” Bride to be who made the right decision
“heifer, n. young cow esp. one that has not had calf; female calf. (Old English ‘heahfore’ of unknown origin). The Concise Oxford Dictionary
Are you sure that none of the bridesmaids had had a calf?
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
You could only afford 4 bridesmades. Sounds like an expensive wedding. My buddy and his wife got married in a barn and it was all pretty simple. They just paid for our ties/tie clips and told the bridesmaids not to wear white and told us dudes to get white button-up shirts and black pants/shoes. They provided alcohol. Best wedding ever.
I really hope she goes to the wedding and pounds back the liquor. Can you imagine the toast?
Why ever do you need a wedding when you are scrapping one person from the ceremony? Perhaps put the money you plan to throw away on this spectacle and put it toward your girls education? Am sure their education investment could use the top-up. Prioritize!
A ridiculous bitch, a ridiculous waste of money for one day. This isn’t a complaint. It’s an ear-splitting whine from a spoiled, self-centered brat who has no sense of priorities except for how she’ll look on her ‘big day’. Bridezilla squared.
nothing wrong with marriage but weddings are a huge waste of money
Something for the OB and her erstwhile friend (subject of the bitch) to ponder:
Dignity dig·ni·ty n. pl. dig·ni·ties
1. The quality or state of being worthy of esteem or respect.
2. Inherent nobility and worth
3. a. Poise and self-respect. b. Stateliness and formality in manner and appearance.
[Middle English dignite, from Old French, from Latin dignits, from dignus, worthy;]
Everything in life is a huge waste of money, whats so different about a wedding?
Its your day to live as you please and spend as much as you please. Who’s to say what a waste of someone elses money it is? If I couldn’t afford a trip to Montego Bay I’d definitly say it was a waste of money. When my neighbours saw our new 27″ iMac earlier this year him and his wife said what a waste of money, because they can’t afford one.
Weddings mean a lot to some people, I’m not one of them for the most part, but if a couple wants to spend 10 to 15 grand on one then good for them. If someone else would take that money and let it sit in the bank till they die then I’d say thats a waste of money. I personally don’t work as hard as I do (sometimes) to not enjoy my salary.
Why don’t you just offer to let her be a bridesmaid if she purchases everything she needs? My fiance will not be purchasing her bridesmaids dresses nor i my best man and ushers tuxes next year
Best Wedding Bitch, Ever.
You had me at “heffers”.
Save yourself a shitload of drama and money and get married at city hall.
Maybe divorce rates are so high because of all the crappy cheap weddings? Maybe if people had an actual night to remember then they’d remember that instead of fighting and abusing each other and smashing shit then getting divorced.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUXMGm5gAZg
Was there an actual bitch in all that ?
I fought as hard as I could to not fall asleep while attempting to read that longwinded rant, I kept nodding off & when I got about half way or so, I thought , she’s pissed at someone, but is this a bitch ??? or just a pissed off rant ?!!?
Sorry OB , I never did make it to the end of your book, maybe a chase scene or a couple of explosive stunts would make it interesting .
Are you for fucking real, bitch?!! You even said so, yourself, that this poor girl was there for you when the others BAILED! She seemed like she was a true friend while the others were merely fair weather buds. Who gives a flying fuck how LONG you knew these people– after reading this, it seems to me that your friend in question is totally right, that some other bitch should have been left out. Orrr, include them all!! Fuck making the your end ‘match’ with your maaaan’s.
She insulted you because you insulted her, telling her she’s not important enough to be in your wedding after all she’s done for you. She was very hurt, so she exploded. That’s human fucking nature.
Fuck you, you ungrateful little C U Next Tuesday. I hope the penis you’re riding leaves you at the alter!
Sounds like the bitch should have got off her high horse and get a wedding she could afford instead of instigating this soap opera. That and probably a couple midols.
Lol I like you more and more, every day, Nyowie.
Well said.