There was a time when I didn’t believe in hell but I am sure now with every fibre of my being, that it exists and that I am right here in it. Basking in the midst of the molten fucking lava as we speak; shovelling coals into the fire pit; the devil Satan himself I’m sure, chuckling from his cushy air conditioned lakefront home.
My rent just increased $125 more per month because our new genius of a landlord decided to replace all the windows in the building to newer crank out style ones. Only our air conditioners don’t fit in these new windows. The old ones were fine and fully functional and yet, this was the reasoning for the rental spike. My neighbours and I have been sweating like a bunch of pigs on roasting spits all fucking summer, temperatures soaring over a hundred degrees daily. When I open my apartment door, it is like an oven and it slaps you right in the face. My poor cat lies on the rug on a tiny slice of shade belly-up and comatose. There are no balconies in this horrendous shit hole-in-the-wall either. If you don’t want to pass out, you must get a cold shower every five minutes on the dot and pour ice chips down your throat constantly.
I hate you new landlords, I hate your motherfucking guts! You charge each of us tenants over a grand more per year to live in this HELL HOLE, are you fucking serious?
You want more fucking money? How about ripping up the puke green and brown ’70s zebra carpeting? It’s like your worst nightmare or a really bad acid trip and has withstood decades of dust mites, flea and bed bug infestations. How about patching up the holes in the walls, the mold in the tubs or securing the back door so it actually locks, and HEY if you’re feeling super-dee-duper generous you could always get some appliances dated this century. But OH NO you don’t give a rat’s ass about anything except the building’s outer aesthetics simply to draw in new tenants and trick them into your overpriced torture chamber. I hope you go bankrupt someday and are forced to live in your very own building so that you can BURN IN HELL like the rest of us! —Hotter Than The Hinges of Hades
This article appears in Jul 26 – Aug 1, 2012.
Well if it’s the entire building, mayhap you should look into organizing yourselves. That unlocking door thing is probably a bylaw violation. Take photos of everything wrong first too.
why did you move in there, then? “puke green and brown ’70s zebra carpeting” alone should have been a deterrent.
well, couple of things. I agree with other comment, the carpets were there when you viewed the place? and so would the lack of balcony. If the holes in the wall weren’t there when you moved in, who put them there? Or are they in the common areas? Mold in tubs sounds like a personal cleaning issue (use a bit of bleach) tubs and toilets need to be cleaned once in a while. The back door to building should be fixed by landlord, yup. The new casement windows could be an egress violation if they don’t open to 90 degrees. Measure them and report if not. Are you a clean and tidy person? How about the rest of the tenants? Why did you choose this place to live?
If you’ve got a car, consider moving out to the boonies like we did 17 years ago. Best decision we ever made was getting the fuck outside of Metro – it’s worth the commute and the rents out here (Hillybilly Hollow – 20 miles as the drunken crow flies from Citadel Hill) are much more reasonable.
I agree with TTFN – living in Cuntville is far better than the inner-shitty.
We had a stabbing yesterday, a domestic, as they so charmingly called it – I suggested changing Oakvale Court to Bayonet Boulevard, no takers!
Green Acres is the place to be! in the sticks you’d probably have to live in a ‘house’ apt. that has it’s own frustrations. That other bitch about nasty roomie sounds like the idiot who rented me a bottom flat out in the boonies when I first landed here. When you rent part of someone’s house, they hate you for it. Really. They want/need the money, but want you to be invisible. It’s not like apt anonymity. If you can afford to rent a whole house, that’s better. The cat could get outside in a cage at least, and nibble some grass and do a proper puke-up on the bed.
well bubby, you have 2 choices here, stay or move. as to satan sitting in a air conditioned place, yes i am, as a matter of fact.if your rent went up that much, it means you were already paying too much for your place. because without a written signed okay from tenancies board, he cannot raise it past 4 per cent.
check your lease if you have one? you will find it in there, if not, call the number in the phone book.i’m lucky where i’m at, ny landlord has only raised mine once, in 8 years.and it is a nice place, a bit messy right now. but otherwise nice. once i clean out the computer stuff, it will be nicer. there is one piece of carpet, that i haven’t seen since i moved in here. and i pay 600 for a two good sized bedroom.
and contrary to what some will say, this is the best part of fairview. 5 minutes to pizza, chnese food, store, and less than 15 to sobeys and s.s. or a shopping area, by walking.
Yeah, that’s the answer. Move to fairview, LOL. Why would you want to move somewhere people struggle to get out of? Maybe next time you should make your rental criteria include “no buildings”. That way you get your own entrance, and most likely a deck, balcony or at the very least a shared back yard and a window for your air conditioner. Mine works awsome, it’s a balmy 18 degrees in here.
gad, air conditioners. nasty things. how about cross draft? you would need at least 2 sides to get any kind of cross draft. I have been comfy with this amount of heat just having the windows open. I did it in apt days as well, neighbour across the hall was cooperative, we both opened our hall doors, with chain on and got a great breeze whistling thru both places. AC is really bad for sinus troubles.
Ugh, I feel for you OP. What a jackass move by the landlord. Those crank windows are prone to breaking down. I personally hate them. Then you have the situation where neither air conditioner or those dual fans that fit right in the window fitting in these crank windows. I wonder if you pay power OP. Maybe the landlord is sick of the juice-sucking AC. Either way the landlord is a scumbag for raising the rent to give you something you didn’t ask for and to replace something you thought was better.
OP, run for city clownsel and raise his property taxes.
Move?
Poor hot kitteh :(. Mine was the same before I got my AC installed. I keep him cool though, I would give him and ice cube to lick and rub his face on, and even leave one to melt in his fur :).
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“overpriced torture chamber” I like that one! Although I wonder which price would cause a torture chamber to be deemed a ‘real bargain’?
Hay George Peters, there’s no rent control in this province. The landlords can charge what they like. There’s no law stating rent can only be raised in 4% increments. I think if you check with the tenancy board you’ll find this is so. A landlord can double the rent if he so chooses, as long as he gives a few months notice. OB is SOL and needs to move.
When old landlord lied to us repeatedly about not selling the house we were renting (gotta type up a bitch about that someday) and new owners (fat fuck, fat wife, fat daughter) raised the rent upon taking over we did the best thing we ever did: we bought a house. 3+ years I think now, and never sorry about it.
LOVE it.
Just put a portable AC in there. You can vent those fuckers through the crank windows no problem.
They are more expensive, though.
I’m guessing OB rented this place because it was cheap. And now it’s not so cheap.
Find a new place to live.
Who signed the lease? …… RIIIGGGHT!
Cole Harbour – isn’t that a hop skip and a gunslinger from Preston? They should pay YOU to live there.